Thursday, May 12, 2016

Reflections part 2d: Fur and Discoveries

Now, about that fur...

When we returned from the store (at the end of 2b), K sat me down and we had a talk.  For some reason I had built up walls and she was determined to tear them down.  K had me kneeling in front of her, naked, while she sat on a chair in front of me.  I was told to look at the floor.  I could tell she was disappointed in me.

"Why were you being so disagreeable at the store?" asked K.
I shrugged my shoulders.
"Tell me," she commanded.
I bit my lip.  She lifted my chin until our eyes met.
"Tell me."
"It made me feel weird, Mistress."
"Weird how?"
"I don't know, just weird."
"I think you're lying to me, you know that's unacceptable."
I looked down again but she forced my chin up.
"Try," she ordered.
I was floundering, stuck someplace mentally I didn't understand.  I relied on impulse.  I turned my eyes to the floor and blurted out, "Fur is for girls, Mistress!"
"It's not just for girls," K replied.
"Yes it is," I whimpered unable to look at her.
"Even if it is just for girls, you'd wear it if I ordered you to, wouldn't you?"
I couldn't respond.  My body was frozen.  I couldn't speak or move an inch.
"Stay here," she ordered.  I didn't watch as she walked away and returned.

I felt the touch of fur on my neck.
"Raise your head."

I did as instructed.  It was a fur scarf that I had purchased for her as a gift.  It was long and made of black fur with a fur pom pom on each end.  She wrapped it around my neck and tied it off, adjusting it so that the pom poms were the same height as my nipples.  My breathing became heavy and I began to fidget.

"How do you feel?"  I couldn't speak and my head was spinning so badly that I didn't know what to think or feel.
"Does it feel good?"
I nodded.
"It feels nice, doesn't it?"
I nodded.
"I think you like it," she said as she moved her foot against my fully erect penis.  I closed my eyes. The scarf smelled like her.  K moved the ends of the scarf so that the pom poms touched my nipples.

"Go to time out," she commanded.  "Think about how you let me down today."

I went and knelt in the corner with my hands behind my head.  I was naked and wearing nothing but the scarf.  My penis stayed erect.  I heard K go and get on the computer and my thoughts spiraled all over the place.  I wracked my brain to the best of my abilities.  After about an hour she returned to me.

"Turn around, stay kneeling, don't look at me."
I complied.
"What is bothering you?" she asked.
"I don't want to be a sissy, Mistress," I replied in a meek voice.
"And you think wearing fur makes you a sissy?"
I nodded.
"If I wanted you to be a sissy, there's nothing you could do about it is there?"
I didn't move or respond.  I could tell she took that as a no.
"You want me to be happy, right?"
"Yes, Mistress."
"You want to please me, right?"
"Yes, Mistress."
"If I wanted you to be a sissy, you would be a sissy, right?  Don't you dare say no to me."
"Yes, Mistress," I said in a voice barely louder than a whisper.
"Stay here."

She moved across the room to her bags and returned with a pink beanie in her hand that had a fur pom pom on top.
"You are on punishment until further notice," she said as she pulled the beanie onto my head.  "This hat is a symbol of your punishment.  It's your shame.  You will wear this while you are on punishment and if you are off punishment you will wear it during time out if I am not here, do you understand?"
"Yes, Mistress," I replied, feeling like I was about to cry.
"Good.  I have added 20 marks."

K had instituted the state of being "on punishment" a while ago.  This meant full high protocol with no "normal" D/s time.  Any infractions were given double marks.  If she felt the need to spank me she would do it, but marks could not be cleared from the book while on punishment. 

K returned home the next day, leaving the black scarf and pink hat behind.  As ordered I would remain wearing the scarf any time I was home and the hat any time I was home until she chose to remove punishment.

The following day K brought something up when we were chatting.  We were on webcam to make sure I was dressed appropriately.
"I think you have a second layer," she said.
"Second layer?"
"There are two different submissives in you.  You have your regular submissive in you.  You also have a slave within you.  The submissive is a boy.  The slave is a sissy slave."
"I don't know what that means, Mistress."
"Do you trust me?"
"Of course, Mistress."
"Do you trust me to do what is best for you and the both of us?"
"Yes, Mistress."
"I have an assignment for you.  Write about 5 fur items you would find embarrassing to wear and why.  Find 3 example pictures for each item and rank them in order from least to most embarrassing.  Do you understand?"
"Yes, Mistress."

To be continued.

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