I am in the midst of some busy things in my personal life so my access to the internet will be sporadic at best over the next 7-10 days. Hopefully everything should smooth out soon.
I was reading the blog at: http://reluctantmistress.blogspot.com/2010/08/forced-feminisation.html
and something in the comments got me thinking about this topic again.
How does a D/s relationship make feminization feel forced when it's obviously a source of pleasure for the sub. I have no desire to crossdress but forced feminization has become a big part of my submissive life. There always seems to be a fine line between a sub sharing his feelings about what aspects turn him on and attempts at topping from the bottom.
What I was thinking about are ways to drive home the forced aspect of feminization and what sort of things are capable of doing that. Each type of activity seems to stem from a particular root aspect that is usually more D/s than sissy fantasy.
My list so far:
1. Remove choice.
-Lock away (or throw away) his male garments in a "wear this or go naked" sense.
-Choose what he has to wear.
-Threaten compliance with punishment.
-Do it whenever, even (or especially) when he isn't in the mood.
2. Establish feelings of inescapability.
-Lock the feminine items on.
3. Create a negative association.
-Establish a link between dressing and chastity and/or orgasm denial.
-Place him in uncomfortable situations.
-Work him hard with unrealistic expectations when he is dressed.
-Make sure he is dressed during any and all punishments.
4. Establish permanence. (This is a bit extreme but also removes the fantasy connotations)
-Breast implants or cosmetic surgery.
-Feminine tattoos and/or tattooed make-up/eyebrows.
-Horomone therapy.
#4 most likely goes beyond the realm of what most couples will ever wish to experience but I figured I would list them anyways since they fit in with the overall theme.
Any thoughts or additions?
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Fiction/story ideas
I see from the surveys that people are fairly in agreement that they would like to see me write some stories or fictional scenes. As I've said before I have a lot of half-finished writings as well as a lot of ideas for premises that could easily be extended to novel length.
Since it would be you, the readers, that would actually be reading said writings, I have a few questions for you that may steer in which direction I go with writing.
Think of this as a survey and you can respond with answers in the comments. I don't care if it's anonymous or not but I like to know my audience.
1. In school I was a math and science guy so things like writing style and prose aren't things I'm well-versed in. I do my best to try to have some style but sometimes I struggle. Are you okay with my writing being on the weaker side of things? (it will likely improve over time)
2. As you can probably tell so far, I have some rather particular fetishes, which to me are enjoyable but to others it may get rather repetitive and boring since it's not their cup of tea. In all honesty, these will probably serve as masturbation fantasies for most readers, but for me to take genuine interest in writing them, it will probably wreak heavily of my own specific fetishes. Are you prepared for (or even encouraging) this to happen?
3. As I've also written before, on occasion I struggle to get into the true mindset and motivations of a Domme. Basically, I just sort of assume that being on the dominant end of certain activities "does it" for her in a similar way that being on the submissive end of the same activities "does it" for me. Would you like me to make an attempt at capturing the mindsets of both roles or just stick to the submissive side of things? If I did try to capture the "essence" of a Domme it would be in stories where the Dommes were the primary characters.
4. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being most vanilla and 10 being the most extreme, how extreme do you like your Femdom to go?
5. Do you prefer stories that are more realistic or ones that throw realism and practicality to the wind and incorporate fantasy elements that go beyond what could happen in every day life?
6. Do you prefer situations that flow along on a more consensual level or ones that are rather inescapable? Or maybe a mix of both, sort of in a "bitten off more than he could chew" variety?
Any input would be much appreciated.
Since it would be you, the readers, that would actually be reading said writings, I have a few questions for you that may steer in which direction I go with writing.
Think of this as a survey and you can respond with answers in the comments. I don't care if it's anonymous or not but I like to know my audience.
1. In school I was a math and science guy so things like writing style and prose aren't things I'm well-versed in. I do my best to try to have some style but sometimes I struggle. Are you okay with my writing being on the weaker side of things? (it will likely improve over time)
2. As you can probably tell so far, I have some rather particular fetishes, which to me are enjoyable but to others it may get rather repetitive and boring since it's not their cup of tea. In all honesty, these will probably serve as masturbation fantasies for most readers, but for me to take genuine interest in writing them, it will probably wreak heavily of my own specific fetishes. Are you prepared for (or even encouraging) this to happen?
3. As I've also written before, on occasion I struggle to get into the true mindset and motivations of a Domme. Basically, I just sort of assume that being on the dominant end of certain activities "does it" for her in a similar way that being on the submissive end of the same activities "does it" for me. Would you like me to make an attempt at capturing the mindsets of both roles or just stick to the submissive side of things? If I did try to capture the "essence" of a Domme it would be in stories where the Dommes were the primary characters.
4. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being most vanilla and 10 being the most extreme, how extreme do you like your Femdom to go?
5. Do you prefer stories that are more realistic or ones that throw realism and practicality to the wind and incorporate fantasy elements that go beyond what could happen in every day life?
6. Do you prefer situations that flow along on a more consensual level or ones that are rather inescapable? Or maybe a mix of both, sort of in a "bitten off more than he could chew" variety?
Any input would be much appreciated.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Public Humiliation: The Dunce Cap
The Dunce Cap has a long and interesting origin as a form of public humiliation. During medieval times the Dunce Cap was originally used by a group of scholars led by John Duns Scotus, who's followers were known as duns, or dunsmen. The conically shaped dunce cap was intended to absorb knowledge through the point and funnel it down to the wearer. During the Renaissance period, this idea was eventually proven to be wrong.
One of the early uses of the Dunce Cap as a form of humiliation occurred during the Spanish Inquisition. Individuals accused of heresy would be forced to wear them in public as a way of being marked. This practice continued in schools and the term Dunce soon came to be synonymous with being an idiot or someone who is a slow learner.
My first Mistress began using "silly" hats in conjunction with corner time as a form of punishment very early on in my foray into the D/s lifestyle as an added humiliation and a symbol that I was being punished. My second Mistress incorporated silly hats as a standard uniform since she thought I was better off feeling that type of humiliation all the time rather than just during punishments (I had told her about my previous experiences).
I know there are many Dommes and subs out there that believe in corner time as punishment and I was curious if anyone employed things like these as a standard practice.
Poll results so far
Thanks to everyone who has been voting on the polls. Even if you don't post any comments it at least gives me some ideas about the views of those who are reading here.
The results on the chastity and forced fem polls got me thinking a bit about just who is reading here.
The chastity poll results shocked me a bit seeing that > 70% have voted for regularly or all the time. I didn't expect it to be quite so lopsided.
The forced fem poll wasn't all that shocking in its results so far except I didn't expect it to be quite so balanced. I guess it shows that people have fairly unique reasons for sissification.
The results also give me the sneaking suspicion that a good number of those who have voted so far are women. If that is the case it makes me quite happy to know that what I write has some appeal to both men and women. It made me curious enough to add a few new polls.
Now that my blog is several months old one thing I've noticed is the absence of the men who use the term "WLM" instead of "Femdom" to describe a Female Dominant D/s relationship that seem to visit here even though I've posted quite a few comments on blogs of this nature.
A big thank you to everyone who has voted and reads/comments here.
The results on the chastity and forced fem polls got me thinking a bit about just who is reading here.
The chastity poll results shocked me a bit seeing that > 70% have voted for regularly or all the time. I didn't expect it to be quite so lopsided.
The forced fem poll wasn't all that shocking in its results so far except I didn't expect it to be quite so balanced. I guess it shows that people have fairly unique reasons for sissification.
The results also give me the sneaking suspicion that a good number of those who have voted so far are women. If that is the case it makes me quite happy to know that what I write has some appeal to both men and women. It made me curious enough to add a few new polls.
Now that my blog is several months old one thing I've noticed is the absence of the men who use the term "WLM" instead of "Femdom" to describe a Female Dominant D/s relationship that seem to visit here even though I've posted quite a few comments on blogs of this nature.
A big thank you to everyone who has voted and reads/comments here.
Soooooo burned out
We have a lot going on right now and my stress level is through the roof. These are the kinds of times where I usually need D/s the most as it reduces my stress level by a wide margin (or at least turns it into a more fun kind of stress) but due to our work schedules things just aren't coinciding very well, sometimes limited to 20-40 minutes of time together on a given day.
If anyone has any ideas for things they would like me to write about or discuss I'm open to suggestions.
Thinking about specific subjects really helps to free my mind from the grind.
If anyone has any ideas for things they would like me to write about or discuss I'm open to suggestions.
Thinking about specific subjects really helps to free my mind from the grind.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Another Case of Humiliation in the Mind
I've written a few posts about humiliation stemming mostly in the mind. That feeling that "everyone knows" creep into the back of the mind causing the pulse to race and blood pressure to rise, paranoia and nervousness leading to even more conspicuous behavior... it's quite a strange rush.
Something that always made me timid and terrified was when Mistress would force me to bring an item along in order to find matching items. As you may know, there's about 23948023849230483 shades of pink. One time I might be ordered to carry around a pair of pink panties in my pocket in order to find a matching pair of stockings. Another time it might be a pink hat in my pocket to find a pair of matching mittens. Or a pink sweater on under another shirt and my coat that I would have to compare to other items. Every time I would be unable to speak and get very agitated. I'm a gift-giver so buying women's items is never a big deal... unless they were intended to be worn by me.
The sad thing is that my behavior would shift in this way, making me very conspicuous. While I wanted to be left alone, barely pulling a corner of the item out of my pocket to match it up with an item on the rack, this made me look like a shoplifter and I almost always had sales girls hanging around watching me like a hawk. Mistress would usually let me sweat it out for several minutes until she would finally come over and say something like "oh those are cute!" and that would free me up from the constant inquiries. If I tried to shy away at that point she would say something like "why don't we ask her to come over and give her opinion on it?" to tease me and push me to deeper level of subspace.
While nothing ever happened I found this as strong evidence that much of humiliation does lie solely in the mind (although it can definitely span well beyond the mind as well). Mistress would tease me even more on the way home with lines like "she knew those were really for you."
Something that always made me timid and terrified was when Mistress would force me to bring an item along in order to find matching items. As you may know, there's about 23948023849230483 shades of pink. One time I might be ordered to carry around a pair of pink panties in my pocket in order to find a matching pair of stockings. Another time it might be a pink hat in my pocket to find a pair of matching mittens. Or a pink sweater on under another shirt and my coat that I would have to compare to other items. Every time I would be unable to speak and get very agitated. I'm a gift-giver so buying women's items is never a big deal... unless they were intended to be worn by me.
The sad thing is that my behavior would shift in this way, making me very conspicuous. While I wanted to be left alone, barely pulling a corner of the item out of my pocket to match it up with an item on the rack, this made me look like a shoplifter and I almost always had sales girls hanging around watching me like a hawk. Mistress would usually let me sweat it out for several minutes until she would finally come over and say something like "oh those are cute!" and that would free me up from the constant inquiries. If I tried to shy away at that point she would say something like "why don't we ask her to come over and give her opinion on it?" to tease me and push me to deeper level of subspace.
While nothing ever happened I found this as strong evidence that much of humiliation does lie solely in the mind (although it can definitely span well beyond the mind as well). Mistress would tease me even more on the way home with lines like "she knew those were really for you."
Defunct sissy Apparel - Boot Loot: modular boot accessories
Several years ago when the forced sissification aspects of my life were getting more intense, Mistress' plan was to start accumulating some boots for me that would make me look whorish. As I'm guessing is often the case with many who have been in my shoes (literally) either by choice or by force, wide feet and muscular calves just don't mix with tall boots. There were boots out there manufactured with TV's, CD's, etc. in mind but most of these were trying to be too sexy and they just weren't "sissy" enough for what Mistress wanted. The task of tracking down said items was often placed in my hands. I would be ordered to find something that I knew would meet her approval.
In around 2005 it was during one of these searches that I stumbled across "Boot Loot." The website has been down for years but much of it still remains intact on web archive search engines. The original product from Boot Loot was fur cuffs on a foot-less nylon stocking that were meant to be worn to add fur trim/cuffs to plain boots rather than having to buy a new pair of boots just for the trim. The idea was very practical and creative, considering you could mix and match and accessorize different color combinations on different items.
Basically, every pair of boots for me could be made more humiliating. We got a few pairs for Mistress as well in varying colors that would match her furs and fur accessories. All in all, the products only remained around for two years and it was disappointing that we weren't able to get more of their products, especially to match all of Mistress' coats. Their other products included fur-accented leg warmers and boot chains.
The original story behind Boot Loot is here:
It's amazing how far a person can get on a sore toe - all the way to a major fashion hit, in the case of Charlene Bry of Ladue.
Three years ago, Bry had an aching toe from dropping her tennis racket on it. She needed a pair of glam boots with frou-frou tops to wear to a social event, but her sore toe couldn't take the squeeze of a new pair. The only boots that felt comfortable were her plain old untrendy ones.
"There ought to be a way to attach different types of cuffs to your own comfy boots," Bry mused to herself as she limped off to a party.
Well, girlfriend, take a look at what's flying off the shelves at Famous-Barr, Bloomingdale's, Lord & Taylor and Nordstrom! Fox, rabbit and faux fur cuffs attached to pairs of footless stockings so they can be worn interchangeably, according to whim, with whatever's in a woman's shoe collection. They were manufactured in China by a factory with business ties to Bry's company, Boot Loot. The company also has a warehouse here and a patent pending.
John Bailey, a spokesman for Nordstrom, said the company sold out of the boot cuffs at stores here and in Chicago over Christmas. He called Bry's boot accessories "unique, one of a kind."
Bry herself sounds pleased but not particularly surprised at the success of her creation.
"I know women want these," she said. "It's like thee and thou - we understand each other."
Either because she once worked as a fashion model or because she has lived in Ladue for two decades, Charlene Bry has a deep understanding of the joys of dressing up and going out on the town.
She has a knack for inventing saleable notions that market to a woman's craving for glamour and the sense of self-assurance it imparts. Her first venture was the Ladue News, a party and fashion rag that she and her son, Richie Bry Jr., founded in 1984. A cozy, affectionate look at the doings of Ladue's social sets, it became a local must-read.
Bry sold the paper in 1999 and started working on a history of Ladue, a place that is a natural home to her, although she grew up in Clayton and University City as Charlene Sherman.
She earned a degree from Washington University, modeling to pay some of her expenses. She married Richie Bry, moved to Iowa with him for a time and then, as Bry's career as a sports agent took hold, the couple returned to the St. Louis area and settled in Ladue. They subsequently divorced.
But Bry had found a personal and commercial niche. The tastes and stylistic imperatives of the Ladue crowd have shaped her thinking the way the Bill of Rights underlays a constitutional lawyer's.
Her current creation got into production about six months ago when she paid local designer Jan Brodsky to develop a few prototypes.
Bry got fur bits from the Fur and Leather Centre on Lindbergh Boulevard, developed some faux fur options, and took her samples to the head buyer for the May Companies to ask her opinion.
"And - boom - I had my first customer," Bry reports.
Finding someone to link her to a Chinese factory was the next hurdle. Then she set up a distribution system and a Web site (www.boot-loot.com). She has done most of her own advertising and modeling.
Now she waits to see whether her toehold on the world of fashion will last.
"I think the demand will keep on," she said. "A woman puts on a pair and it's like a complete makeover. It's transforming. Women want that."
Somehow I doubt the intent was to provide a humiliating add-on for sissy apparel but it did a terrific job. Mistress ended up with a pair of black ones, grey ones, dark red, dark purple, and leopard print. I ended up with white and some pink. Near the end of their run they ended up getting clearanced out at a few major department stores for like $3 a pair.
In around 2005 it was during one of these searches that I stumbled across "Boot Loot." The website has been down for years but much of it still remains intact on web archive search engines. The original product from Boot Loot was fur cuffs on a foot-less nylon stocking that were meant to be worn to add fur trim/cuffs to plain boots rather than having to buy a new pair of boots just for the trim. The idea was very practical and creative, considering you could mix and match and accessorize different color combinations on different items.
Basically, every pair of boots for me could be made more humiliating. We got a few pairs for Mistress as well in varying colors that would match her furs and fur accessories. All in all, the products only remained around for two years and it was disappointing that we weren't able to get more of their products, especially to match all of Mistress' coats. Their other products included fur-accented leg warmers and boot chains.
The original story behind Boot Loot is here:
It's amazing how far a person can get on a sore toe - all the way to a major fashion hit, in the case of Charlene Bry of Ladue.
Three years ago, Bry had an aching toe from dropping her tennis racket on it. She needed a pair of glam boots with frou-frou tops to wear to a social event, but her sore toe couldn't take the squeeze of a new pair. The only boots that felt comfortable were her plain old untrendy ones.
"There ought to be a way to attach different types of cuffs to your own comfy boots," Bry mused to herself as she limped off to a party.
Well, girlfriend, take a look at what's flying off the shelves at Famous-Barr, Bloomingdale's, Lord & Taylor and Nordstrom! Fox, rabbit and faux fur cuffs attached to pairs of footless stockings so they can be worn interchangeably, according to whim, with whatever's in a woman's shoe collection. They were manufactured in China by a factory with business ties to Bry's company, Boot Loot. The company also has a warehouse here and a patent pending.
John Bailey, a spokesman for Nordstrom, said the company sold out of the boot cuffs at stores here and in Chicago over Christmas. He called Bry's boot accessories "unique, one of a kind."
Bry herself sounds pleased but not particularly surprised at the success of her creation.
"I know women want these," she said. "It's like thee and thou - we understand each other."
Either because she once worked as a fashion model or because she has lived in Ladue for two decades, Charlene Bry has a deep understanding of the joys of dressing up and going out on the town.
She has a knack for inventing saleable notions that market to a woman's craving for glamour and the sense of self-assurance it imparts. Her first venture was the Ladue News, a party and fashion rag that she and her son, Richie Bry Jr., founded in 1984. A cozy, affectionate look at the doings of Ladue's social sets, it became a local must-read.
Bry sold the paper in 1999 and started working on a history of Ladue, a place that is a natural home to her, although she grew up in Clayton and University City as Charlene Sherman.
She earned a degree from Washington University, modeling to pay some of her expenses. She married Richie Bry, moved to Iowa with him for a time and then, as Bry's career as a sports agent took hold, the couple returned to the St. Louis area and settled in Ladue. They subsequently divorced.
But Bry had found a personal and commercial niche. The tastes and stylistic imperatives of the Ladue crowd have shaped her thinking the way the Bill of Rights underlays a constitutional lawyer's.
Her current creation got into production about six months ago when she paid local designer Jan Brodsky to develop a few prototypes.
Bry got fur bits from the Fur and Leather Centre on Lindbergh Boulevard, developed some faux fur options, and took her samples to the head buyer for the May Companies to ask her opinion.
"And - boom - I had my first customer," Bry reports.
Finding someone to link her to a Chinese factory was the next hurdle. Then she set up a distribution system and a Web site (www.boot-loot.com). She has done most of her own advertising and modeling.
Now she waits to see whether her toehold on the world of fashion will last.
"I think the demand will keep on," she said. "A woman puts on a pair and it's like a complete makeover. It's transforming. Women want that."
Somehow I doubt the intent was to provide a humiliating add-on for sissy apparel but it did a terrific job. Mistress ended up with a pair of black ones, grey ones, dark red, dark purple, and leopard print. I ended up with white and some pink. Near the end of their run they ended up getting clearanced out at a few major department stores for like $3 a pair.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Dream Bondage Device - Chastity Alarm
It's been a while since I wrote about a bondage device that showed up in a dream of mine but this one came to mind when I was writing some replies to comments.
The device that showed up in a few of my dreams is a chastity alarm. These dreams usually revolved around situations involving a Lesbian Dominant with a primary favored female submissive and a male as the secondary and inferior submissive.
I can draw some sketches if people request that but at the same time I tend to enjoy the exercise of visualizing something based upon a textual description. Everyone seems to come up with their own unique interpretation and that is often way more fun than spoiling it with a drawing.
The chastity alarm is an add-on to most standard chastity cages. If you are familiar with the CB-2000/3000/6000 series or some similar metal cages, the chastity alarm is a small device that would attach to a thin snugly-fitting ring around the scrotum and a small cable would run through the chastity device's cock ring connecting it to the tip of the chastity cage. While a chastity device of this nature can prevent a sub from obtaining an erection, they cannot prevent a sub from attempting an erection. If a sub's penis attempts to harden or flex, the cage portion will lift. Upon lifting of the cage the cable connecting it to the tip of the cage will tug and trigger a small spring-loaded hammer, making it hit a chime and emit a bell-like sound. The hammer and chime are encased in a small capsule that cannot be tampered with or muted. The alarm could not be removed without removal of both the cage and cock ring portions of the chastity device.
The resulting chime would signify that the sub was attempting to have an erection.
While items like a KTB or the points of intrigue add-ons can prevent erection attempts, the chastity alarm is better suited for cases where a sub's erection attempts are prohibited but the ability to control arousal is placed solely in the sub's control.
The situations where it surfaced in my dreams were where it was instructed that the sub was not to think of the Domme (or the female sub) in a sexual manner but then he was tormented with constant teasing and visual and psychological stimulation. Each ding of the chastity alarm would be met with some form of punishment or recorded in order to be enacted at a future time.
Please let me know if you would like any additional descriptions.
The device that showed up in a few of my dreams is a chastity alarm. These dreams usually revolved around situations involving a Lesbian Dominant with a primary favored female submissive and a male as the secondary and inferior submissive.
I can draw some sketches if people request that but at the same time I tend to enjoy the exercise of visualizing something based upon a textual description. Everyone seems to come up with their own unique interpretation and that is often way more fun than spoiling it with a drawing.
The chastity alarm is an add-on to most standard chastity cages. If you are familiar with the CB-2000/3000/6000 series or some similar metal cages, the chastity alarm is a small device that would attach to a thin snugly-fitting ring around the scrotum and a small cable would run through the chastity device's cock ring connecting it to the tip of the chastity cage. While a chastity device of this nature can prevent a sub from obtaining an erection, they cannot prevent a sub from attempting an erection. If a sub's penis attempts to harden or flex, the cage portion will lift. Upon lifting of the cage the cable connecting it to the tip of the cage will tug and trigger a small spring-loaded hammer, making it hit a chime and emit a bell-like sound. The hammer and chime are encased in a small capsule that cannot be tampered with or muted. The alarm could not be removed without removal of both the cage and cock ring portions of the chastity device.
The resulting chime would signify that the sub was attempting to have an erection.
While items like a KTB or the points of intrigue add-ons can prevent erection attempts, the chastity alarm is better suited for cases where a sub's erection attempts are prohibited but the ability to control arousal is placed solely in the sub's control.
The situations where it surfaced in my dreams were where it was instructed that the sub was not to think of the Domme (or the female sub) in a sexual manner but then he was tormented with constant teasing and visual and psychological stimulation. Each ding of the chastity alarm would be met with some form of punishment or recorded in order to be enacted at a future time.
Please let me know if you would like any additional descriptions.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Cuckolding - A few thoughts
Cuckolding is something that has never really interested me except from an intellectual standpoint. There are situations of knowing unfaithfulness that do "do it for me" but these generally aren't considered cuckolding and that strikes me a bit as odd.
Cuckolding rarely starts out at the forefront of a D/s relationship (unless it's already a well-developed fantasy of a submissive male). The premise is that a woman (often married to her sub) demotes her sub from the role of a sexual partner and takes on another sexual partner in his place. The sub is often kept in chastity and is sometimes forced to watch or take part in various aspects of the woman's intercourse with her new sexual partner. This new role degrades and humiliates the sub and allows the woman to experience a "superior" lover in bed. I'm not sure exactly why many men fantasize about this but that's a topic for another day.
The first thing that strikes me as odd about this scenario is that cuckolding really seems to be limited to a woman having sexual interactions with another man. What about sexual interactions with another woman? Is this no longer cuckolding? It is technically equally unfaithful but it usually is kinder to the sub's male ego and often plays into a greater fantasy of his without threatening his role as her primary man. In cases where this was instigated by the woman, cuckolding with another man can be devastating to the sub's psyche but cheating on him with another woman probably wouldn't bother him nearly as much.
The second thing that I find odd is that cuckolding seems to only be classified as such when it's done with a man who is of equal or neutral standing to the woman. Cuckolding with another submissive is usually just seen as "play," and in many BDSM circles this is fairly common without the emotional repercussions of it being with another dominant man or a standard vanilla man (often referred to as a bull).
This leads to the idea that Female Supremacist Dommes really can't cuckold a male sub. If she replaces him with a submissive or Dominant woman, it's no longer cuckolding. If she replaces him with a male sub, it's just play and no longer cuckolding. She can't replace him with a male of equal standing since she is a Female Supremacist and there are no males of equal or neutral standing.
This implies that there are a few criteria that must be met for a cuckolding relationship to happen:
-She must be able to consider men as equals (or something similar).
-She should be at least primarily heterosexual.
-She should be okay with shattering her sub's male ego.
It's a fairly simple list but at the same time if an unclaimed sub is seeking a cuckolding Mistress this reduces the target demographic.
Cuckolding rarely starts out at the forefront of a D/s relationship (unless it's already a well-developed fantasy of a submissive male). The premise is that a woman (often married to her sub) demotes her sub from the role of a sexual partner and takes on another sexual partner in his place. The sub is often kept in chastity and is sometimes forced to watch or take part in various aspects of the woman's intercourse with her new sexual partner. This new role degrades and humiliates the sub and allows the woman to experience a "superior" lover in bed. I'm not sure exactly why many men fantasize about this but that's a topic for another day.
The first thing that strikes me as odd about this scenario is that cuckolding really seems to be limited to a woman having sexual interactions with another man. What about sexual interactions with another woman? Is this no longer cuckolding? It is technically equally unfaithful but it usually is kinder to the sub's male ego and often plays into a greater fantasy of his without threatening his role as her primary man. In cases where this was instigated by the woman, cuckolding with another man can be devastating to the sub's psyche but cheating on him with another woman probably wouldn't bother him nearly as much.
The second thing that I find odd is that cuckolding seems to only be classified as such when it's done with a man who is of equal or neutral standing to the woman. Cuckolding with another submissive is usually just seen as "play," and in many BDSM circles this is fairly common without the emotional repercussions of it being with another dominant man or a standard vanilla man (often referred to as a bull).
This leads to the idea that Female Supremacist Dommes really can't cuckold a male sub. If she replaces him with a submissive or Dominant woman, it's no longer cuckolding. If she replaces him with a male sub, it's just play and no longer cuckolding. She can't replace him with a male of equal standing since she is a Female Supremacist and there are no males of equal or neutral standing.
This implies that there are a few criteria that must be met for a cuckolding relationship to happen:
-She must be able to consider men as equals (or something similar).
-She should be at least primarily heterosexual.
-She should be okay with shattering her sub's male ego.
It's a fairly simple list but at the same time if an unclaimed sub is seeking a cuckolding Mistress this reduces the target demographic.
"Cutesy" things - Why and who said so?
Sometimes I don't understand why it is that certain items that women are drawn to tend to be sought because they are "cute." The things I'm referring to are things like fringe, pom poms, tassels, and the like. Just who chose these things as cute and why are many women drawn to them? I can understand jewelry but I'll never understand the $2 charm bracelet full of bouncy trinkets of varying shapes, sizes, and colors.
When you picture a powerful woman in business you get some idea of a pantsuit or a skirt and suit top and the like. When you picture formal or semi-formal evening wear you get some idea of a sleek dress, some form of exposed bust, heels, and such. Basically, when you think of what types of clothing get classified as "sexy," "sleek," "professional," "glamorous," and "beautiful," you find "cute" items noticeably absent from the mix.
If your female boss enters the room wearing a pinstripe black pencil skirt, a white blouse, silk scarf, and a black suit top you think nothing of it. That is her look. If she walked in wearing a top with fringe/tassels dangling from the sleeves and pumps with pom poms on the toes you'd probably do a triple take and have a puzzled look on your face. It just doesn't seem right. It's harder to take her seriously that way (I suppose why we have this change in reaction could also serve as a valid question).
I think that is where the problem lies. Cute is just rarely consistent with the stronger and more sexual feminine qualities and at times just seems a bit immature. If that is the case, just who chose what is cute and why are women drawn to it? Taking it as a given that it is considered cute why exactly do they fail to fit in with more aspects of life? Why are they considered feminine? Is it because they serve no functional purpose? Items like purses and bras are very functional but are also very feminine.
A pair of fluffy earmuffs are also functional but they also fall into the "cute" category. Take away the fluffy and the cuteness dissipates.
It just doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me that items that are "cute" on a 4-year old continue to be "cute" well into adulthood. One thing that does make sense to me is that "cute" generally makes up some of the more humiliating items of forced feminization. An item that is in nearly all ways masculine or unisex in style and color can be made wholly feminine with the simple addition of some cuteness. A simple black-knit beanie becomes girl's/woman's hat with the simple addition of a large fur pom pom on top. A black leather jacket becomes a girl's/woman's jacket with the addition of some fringe dangling from the sleeves or front.
I guess I'm just curious since the most humiliating times I've been dressed have usually been full of things that would have been cute on a girly girl but are flat out goofy on a man.
When you picture a powerful woman in business you get some idea of a pantsuit or a skirt and suit top and the like. When you picture formal or semi-formal evening wear you get some idea of a sleek dress, some form of exposed bust, heels, and such. Basically, when you think of what types of clothing get classified as "sexy," "sleek," "professional," "glamorous," and "beautiful," you find "cute" items noticeably absent from the mix.
If your female boss enters the room wearing a pinstripe black pencil skirt, a white blouse, silk scarf, and a black suit top you think nothing of it. That is her look. If she walked in wearing a top with fringe/tassels dangling from the sleeves and pumps with pom poms on the toes you'd probably do a triple take and have a puzzled look on your face. It just doesn't seem right. It's harder to take her seriously that way (I suppose why we have this change in reaction could also serve as a valid question).
I think that is where the problem lies. Cute is just rarely consistent with the stronger and more sexual feminine qualities and at times just seems a bit immature. If that is the case, just who chose what is cute and why are women drawn to it? Taking it as a given that it is considered cute why exactly do they fail to fit in with more aspects of life? Why are they considered feminine? Is it because they serve no functional purpose? Items like purses and bras are very functional but are also very feminine.
A pair of fluffy earmuffs are also functional but they also fall into the "cute" category. Take away the fluffy and the cuteness dissipates.
It just doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me that items that are "cute" on a 4-year old continue to be "cute" well into adulthood. One thing that does make sense to me is that "cute" generally makes up some of the more humiliating items of forced feminization. An item that is in nearly all ways masculine or unisex in style and color can be made wholly feminine with the simple addition of some cuteness. A simple black-knit beanie becomes girl's/woman's hat with the simple addition of a large fur pom pom on top. A black leather jacket becomes a girl's/woman's jacket with the addition of some fringe dangling from the sleeves or front.
I guess I'm just curious since the most humiliating times I've been dressed have usually been full of things that would have been cute on a girly girl but are flat out goofy on a man.
Forced Feminization - Flat Chest vs. False Breasts
Following the theme of my previous post I will continue on a related topic.
I've noticed that fictional fantasies pertaining to forced feminization usually has a fairly drastic split when it comes to having a sissy with a flat chest or a sissy with huge breasts. There's rarely a time when a scenario "splits the difference" and portrays a sissy with smaller breasts or loosely fit clothing that hides the chest region. They're usually either flat as a board or DD-cup.
While people probably have some fantasy they prefer it's probably linked to their deeper fantasies about sissification. Those who wish to be women probably gravitate towards artificial breasts or implants. Those who thrive more on humiliation are likely split between the particular scenario and situation involved.
Since I tend to thrive more under the humiliation aspect than others, I will break it down from that aspect.
False breasts via breast forms, stuffed bras, and the like (or even more permanent methods such as implants or hormone therapy) tend to yield great internal humiliation but the external humiliation is a bit situational. The inner humiliation stems from them being there at all, since they wouldn't be otherwise. The added girth up top gives a sissy a great deal of self-consciousness and if performed via implant or hormones, I expect they would surrender quite deeply and feel defeated. As for external humiliation, I believe this would vary depending upon how realistically passable they are. If fully dressed, breasts would likely decrease the level of external humiliation since it makes them more passable as a woman. If partially dressed in an unconvincing manner, breasts would likely increase the amount of external humiliation as it makes their appearance more flagrant. Picturing a sissy in a very tight-fitting pink t-shirt with huge breasts but with facial stubble and male pants and shoes would stand out something harsh.
On the other side of things is the flat chest. If a sissy is almost fully passable as a woman, a flat chest will likely increase external humiliation. While the internal humiliation might lessen a bit, there would likely be some added self-consciousness if he was hoping to pass as a woman and now would worry about people noticing his lack of breasts. In regards to partial dressing (or non-convincing outfits) the flat chest would again probably have slightly less internal humiliation but also increase external humiliation. Certain artists have taken this to an extreme by portraying sissies with exposed nipples nearly all the time in order to accentuate their flat chests and male stature.
Personally, I've found a bra with no breasts to increase the level of internal humiliation and self-consciousness since at that point the bra is rather pointless and used only as a means of increasing self-consciousness.
I've noticed that fictional fantasies pertaining to forced feminization usually has a fairly drastic split when it comes to having a sissy with a flat chest or a sissy with huge breasts. There's rarely a time when a scenario "splits the difference" and portrays a sissy with smaller breasts or loosely fit clothing that hides the chest region. They're usually either flat as a board or DD-cup.
While people probably have some fantasy they prefer it's probably linked to their deeper fantasies about sissification. Those who wish to be women probably gravitate towards artificial breasts or implants. Those who thrive more on humiliation are likely split between the particular scenario and situation involved.
Since I tend to thrive more under the humiliation aspect than others, I will break it down from that aspect.
False breasts via breast forms, stuffed bras, and the like (or even more permanent methods such as implants or hormone therapy) tend to yield great internal humiliation but the external humiliation is a bit situational. The inner humiliation stems from them being there at all, since they wouldn't be otherwise. The added girth up top gives a sissy a great deal of self-consciousness and if performed via implant or hormones, I expect they would surrender quite deeply and feel defeated. As for external humiliation, I believe this would vary depending upon how realistically passable they are. If fully dressed, breasts would likely decrease the level of external humiliation since it makes them more passable as a woman. If partially dressed in an unconvincing manner, breasts would likely increase the amount of external humiliation as it makes their appearance more flagrant. Picturing a sissy in a very tight-fitting pink t-shirt with huge breasts but with facial stubble and male pants and shoes would stand out something harsh.
On the other side of things is the flat chest. If a sissy is almost fully passable as a woman, a flat chest will likely increase external humiliation. While the internal humiliation might lessen a bit, there would likely be some added self-consciousness if he was hoping to pass as a woman and now would worry about people noticing his lack of breasts. In regards to partial dressing (or non-convincing outfits) the flat chest would again probably have slightly less internal humiliation but also increase external humiliation. Certain artists have taken this to an extreme by portraying sissies with exposed nipples nearly all the time in order to accentuate their flat chests and male stature.
Personally, I've found a bra with no breasts to increase the level of internal humiliation and self-consciousness since at that point the bra is rather pointless and used only as a means of increasing self-consciousness.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Forced Feminization - Complete vs. Partial Transformations
This is a topic I have seen varying views from Dommes that implement forced feminization as a regular part of their lifestyle. Should a sissy be fully transformed and borderline passable as a woman or are they better off being kept "obviously a man" in their appearance. I know the views vary heavily on a case by case basis both by what Dommes wish to accomplish by feminizing their sub and by what subs truly desire. I'm pretty much ignoring the sub desires side of this since if they really want to be feminized it really takes away the forced nature of the fetish and it gets into scenarios where there are subs who wish to be women, wish to be gay, etc. and those can mask the reasons they state on the outset. So my topic of interest really is a Domme's view on complete vs. partial transformations.
Reasons a Domme would want their sub to be completely feminized:
-It gives a "there's no going back now" feel to the situation. Once it starts, things tend to keep moving forward. Panties can be hidden, full-on dressing is pretty blatant. When the transformation happens, he knows she's absolutely serious about it.
-Primping. He must now experience much of what women have gone through for years. Keeping their bodies shaved/waxed, putting on makeup, uncomfortable lingerie, nail care, eyebrows sculpting, and so on.
-Complete removal of masculinity. His male ego is no more.
-Improved aesthetic pleasure. The male figure lacks the grace and elegance of the feminine form. Increasing femininity makes him more pleasing to the eye.
Reasons a Domme would want their sub to be partially feminized but still obviously a male:
-If she is a Female Supremacist, a complete transformation is a bit of an insult for a man to be able to pass as a woman. If the transformation is only partial it can be used to parody years of restrictive feminine ideals towards women and turning him into a caricature of stereotypical femininity.
-A well-done complete transformation might allow him to actually pass as a female. If she wants him to be humiliated she is better off keeping him in the obviously a male stage as this will draw more attention and ridicule, especially if used in public.
-Increased emotional agitation. It's easier to try to be a man or a woman than it is to be somewhere in between. "Unisex" clothing has told us that it's okay for women to wear masculine clothing but that's a one-way street.
-He's not supposed to be pretty, so stop him short of being able to achieve that.
I'm sure if I could keep digging I could rattle off at least half a dozen more reasons but I'm not sure if that would lead to anything. Dommes vary a lot in their feelings on this subject (with many not wanting any feminization at all) and there's no chance of nailing down a consensus.
From my own personal standpoint it trickles back to that cycle I go through of humiliation, deeper subspace, increased arousal, peace in my soul, strong association, humiliation, deeper subspace, etc. that spirals me into a love/hate relationship with forced dressing. I can say that this cycle happens most strongly with the a partial transformation. The more realistically feminine it gets, the more ordinary it tends to feel and that leads to less humiliation to fuel the cycle.
Any thoughts?
Reasons a Domme would want their sub to be completely feminized:
-It gives a "there's no going back now" feel to the situation. Once it starts, things tend to keep moving forward. Panties can be hidden, full-on dressing is pretty blatant. When the transformation happens, he knows she's absolutely serious about it.
-Primping. He must now experience much of what women have gone through for years. Keeping their bodies shaved/waxed, putting on makeup, uncomfortable lingerie, nail care, eyebrows sculpting, and so on.
-Complete removal of masculinity. His male ego is no more.
-Improved aesthetic pleasure. The male figure lacks the grace and elegance of the feminine form. Increasing femininity makes him more pleasing to the eye.
Reasons a Domme would want their sub to be partially feminized but still obviously a male:
-If she is a Female Supremacist, a complete transformation is a bit of an insult for a man to be able to pass as a woman. If the transformation is only partial it can be used to parody years of restrictive feminine ideals towards women and turning him into a caricature of stereotypical femininity.
-A well-done complete transformation might allow him to actually pass as a female. If she wants him to be humiliated she is better off keeping him in the obviously a male stage as this will draw more attention and ridicule, especially if used in public.
-Increased emotional agitation. It's easier to try to be a man or a woman than it is to be somewhere in between. "Unisex" clothing has told us that it's okay for women to wear masculine clothing but that's a one-way street.
-He's not supposed to be pretty, so stop him short of being able to achieve that.
I'm sure if I could keep digging I could rattle off at least half a dozen more reasons but I'm not sure if that would lead to anything. Dommes vary a lot in their feelings on this subject (with many not wanting any feminization at all) and there's no chance of nailing down a consensus.
From my own personal standpoint it trickles back to that cycle I go through of humiliation, deeper subspace, increased arousal, peace in my soul, strong association, humiliation, deeper subspace, etc. that spirals me into a love/hate relationship with forced dressing. I can say that this cycle happens most strongly with the a partial transformation. The more realistically feminine it gets, the more ordinary it tends to feel and that leads to less humiliation to fuel the cycle.
Any thoughts?
Saturday, July 31, 2010
The Lesbian Fantasy
I've always found the male fantasy involving Lesbians to be a bit odd. I think it gets even more odd when it involves a Dominant Lesbian(s). I was thinking about this a bit and just what it is about it that gives such a deep draw to this fantasy.
On the outset I feel that women are inherently beautiful creatures and the merging of sensuous forms is aesthetically pleasing. On another basic level, women are poly-orgasmic and a pair in the throngs of pleasure are definitely arousing.
These explain the typical male Lesbian fantasy but don't cover the submissive aspects of it. This is what I find more interesting and it again falls into a "bitten off more than he could chew" type of a fantasy. So why exactly does the Dominant Lesbian idea provide arousal for so many?
In my own case, the root of it lies in the fact that Lesbians don't need anything a man has to offer (except maybe sperm if they want a child, at least until they perfect egg fusion). A Lesbi-Domme with a male sub doesn't need him to for love, sexual fulfillment, or happiness. She can simply take on a female submissive, switch, or another Lesbi-Domme as a lover, life partner, playmate (tag-teaming if they are both Dommes), friend, and confidante. A male in this case offers nothing that she needs to live a happy life. Basically, as a person, he is useless to her.
His ideal role in the Lesbian fantasy is that of less than a person. Even though his presence is extraneous, he can be useful. He serves no significant emotional role, he is merely there to be used. He can provide tedious and strenuous labor. He can perform menial and boring tasks. He isn't required to think, only serve and obey. In the winter, he shovels the driveway. In the summer, he mows the lawn. Day in and day out he provides cooks, cleans, and runs errands in a thankless environment. It could be him or any other willing male, she doesn't care, so long as he gets things done that she doesn't feel like doing. He should be thankful she allows him to serve her at all. She might even charge him rent. The play he gets isn't very welcome. Denial without the teasing. Chastity play with no incentive for release (she doesn't care about his pleasure). Pain inflicted on a level that satiates her but goes beyond what she is willing to do to another woman.
My dreams tend to take me to a place where things get even more extreme. I've dreamed of households where a Lesbian Domme and her Lesbian female sub also have a male sub. The male ranks below the female, so she is sort of a switch, submissive to the Mistress but dominant to the male. The Mistress is strict but doesn't want to be bothered by a lot of tedious activities so she has her subs take care of the majority of the daily activities. The female sub is a bit threatened by the presence of the male sub so she goes out of her way to make his life hell and sabotage his standing with the Mistress. This rivalry leads to interesting situations on many fronts. The cruelty is great since her dominance isn't motivated sexually, but purely out of jealousy and hatred. He is usually in chastity since he isn't supposed to think of them in a sexual way and he has no hope for release except scheduled times that were negotiated in advance. He has no sexual interaction, just laboring away to the women he serves and surrendering to their whims.
What exactly is it that has me wake up in a cold sweat, panting, and a raging erection when I have dreams of this nature? I'm not really sure. Somewhere in my submissive ideals I adhere to the idea of being expendable. It makes me try harder and appreciate everything. This doesn't explain the sexual arousal aspect but I guess that's what makes the kinky sides of us unique.
Overall I doubt I would thrive in such a situation, but I would probably perform fairly well.
On the outset I feel that women are inherently beautiful creatures and the merging of sensuous forms is aesthetically pleasing. On another basic level, women are poly-orgasmic and a pair in the throngs of pleasure are definitely arousing.
These explain the typical male Lesbian fantasy but don't cover the submissive aspects of it. This is what I find more interesting and it again falls into a "bitten off more than he could chew" type of a fantasy. So why exactly does the Dominant Lesbian idea provide arousal for so many?
In my own case, the root of it lies in the fact that Lesbians don't need anything a man has to offer (except maybe sperm if they want a child, at least until they perfect egg fusion). A Lesbi-Domme with a male sub doesn't need him to for love, sexual fulfillment, or happiness. She can simply take on a female submissive, switch, or another Lesbi-Domme as a lover, life partner, playmate (tag-teaming if they are both Dommes), friend, and confidante. A male in this case offers nothing that she needs to live a happy life. Basically, as a person, he is useless to her.
His ideal role in the Lesbian fantasy is that of less than a person. Even though his presence is extraneous, he can be useful. He serves no significant emotional role, he is merely there to be used. He can provide tedious and strenuous labor. He can perform menial and boring tasks. He isn't required to think, only serve and obey. In the winter, he shovels the driveway. In the summer, he mows the lawn. Day in and day out he provides cooks, cleans, and runs errands in a thankless environment. It could be him or any other willing male, she doesn't care, so long as he gets things done that she doesn't feel like doing. He should be thankful she allows him to serve her at all. She might even charge him rent. The play he gets isn't very welcome. Denial without the teasing. Chastity play with no incentive for release (she doesn't care about his pleasure). Pain inflicted on a level that satiates her but goes beyond what she is willing to do to another woman.
My dreams tend to take me to a place where things get even more extreme. I've dreamed of households where a Lesbian Domme and her Lesbian female sub also have a male sub. The male ranks below the female, so she is sort of a switch, submissive to the Mistress but dominant to the male. The Mistress is strict but doesn't want to be bothered by a lot of tedious activities so she has her subs take care of the majority of the daily activities. The female sub is a bit threatened by the presence of the male sub so she goes out of her way to make his life hell and sabotage his standing with the Mistress. This rivalry leads to interesting situations on many fronts. The cruelty is great since her dominance isn't motivated sexually, but purely out of jealousy and hatred. He is usually in chastity since he isn't supposed to think of them in a sexual way and he has no hope for release except scheduled times that were negotiated in advance. He has no sexual interaction, just laboring away to the women he serves and surrendering to their whims.
What exactly is it that has me wake up in a cold sweat, panting, and a raging erection when I have dreams of this nature? I'm not really sure. Somewhere in my submissive ideals I adhere to the idea of being expendable. It makes me try harder and appreciate everything. This doesn't explain the sexual arousal aspect but I guess that's what makes the kinky sides of us unique.
Overall I doubt I would thrive in such a situation, but I would probably perform fairly well.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Hrm...
While digging up pictures for the last post I stumbled across this one that I had found a while back.
I don't know exactly why but this picture always "does it" for me. When I first saw it I found myself oddly drawn to it. It gives me that feeling of a young woman (probably a bit drunk) following her sexual instincts and for the first time giving into primal dominance and having her way with someone else. While I know these types of situations often lead to a guilty conscience early in experimentation, I also think it captures that naughty and wicked streak that young women have but manage to deny under normal circumstances.
I can picture the other, their arms pinned above their head, their head rushing with anticipation and nervousness, feeling like this is wrong but not wanting to get away. They struggle lightly, hands twisting from side to side in the woman's grip, heels lightly bouncing off the floor, aroused but wanting to end the uncomfortable awkwardness. They look into the woman's eyes and see her stone-fixed gaze, intent on getting what she wants. They can feel her heat against their waist, they look up, pleading, trying to speak with their eyes, saying "this doesn't feel right." She notices and reacts, squeezing her thighs more tightly together and tightening her grip around their wrists, pressing them firmly to the floor.
She will have the time of her life, drunk with power and pleasure. The victim will end the night feeling uncomfortable and violated, confused at the balance of physical pleasure and emotional discomfort.
What makes it even more intriguing is that you can't quite tell if she's mounting another woman or if it's a sissified, humiliated boy.
I don't know exactly why but this picture always "does it" for me. When I first saw it I found myself oddly drawn to it. It gives me that feeling of a young woman (probably a bit drunk) following her sexual instincts and for the first time giving into primal dominance and having her way with someone else. While I know these types of situations often lead to a guilty conscience early in experimentation, I also think it captures that naughty and wicked streak that young women have but manage to deny under normal circumstances.
I can picture the other, their arms pinned above their head, their head rushing with anticipation and nervousness, feeling like this is wrong but not wanting to get away. They struggle lightly, hands twisting from side to side in the woman's grip, heels lightly bouncing off the floor, aroused but wanting to end the uncomfortable awkwardness. They look into the woman's eyes and see her stone-fixed gaze, intent on getting what she wants. They can feel her heat against their waist, they look up, pleading, trying to speak with their eyes, saying "this doesn't feel right." She notices and reacts, squeezing her thighs more tightly together and tightening her grip around their wrists, pressing them firmly to the floor.
She will have the time of her life, drunk with power and pleasure. The victim will end the night feeling uncomfortable and violated, confused at the balance of physical pleasure and emotional discomfort.
What makes it even more intriguing is that you can't quite tell if she's mounting another woman or if it's a sissified, humiliated boy.
Fashion, Femdom, and Attraction
I've always found fully-clothed women to be more attractive than naked women. Part of this has revolved around my fetishes but I also feel that with the correct clothing, the female form can be embellished in certain ways to bring out certain features while covering others. I'm not a snob or anything or feel that women should be held to a certain style or caliber of clothing, I just find that when women dress well, I find it extremely sexy. It can be jeans and a t-shirt as long as jeans and said t-shirt fit correctly on her body and accentuate the curves and contours of her figure.
I've written a few times both here and on several forums about how clothing can help portray an attitude. Of course the actual way a person carries themselves is mostly responsible for the actual attitude that shines through but I've always felt that there are styles and methods of dressing that assist in this a great deal.
The outfit above lends itself to a bit of mystery. Both the angle of the hat and the fit of the pants provide a sense of separation and distance from her. Even if you were "with her" I get the sense that she would be fairly aloof towards you, thinking more about herself and completely indifferent to your presence. She'll decide when you matter.
Luckily most of my girlfriends and Mistresses over the years have enjoyed my taste in clothing. I have enjoyed shopping with them and usually just let them know when something turns me on or I think it's sexy and I can often spot items that will flatter their figure. Often they would simply tell me what kind of look they were going for and I would help pick out a few things.
To me this look says, "it will be impossible to please me but I expect you to try." A leather bustier and a riding crop seem to go hand in hand with this ensemble.
Not quite as menacing here but still very aggressive. The loose fit of the turtleneck and thickness of the collar keep the breasts a mystery but the fitted waist and flared hem coupled with the fitted leggings and leather boots says, "I know I'm sexy and you find me attractive. Everything will be on my terms or you can take a walk."
I'm not sure if others agree with me on these but those are the kind of reads I get when I see women's fashion.
For a bit of contrast...
This conjures up images of the bunny tail anal plug I wrote about in an earlier post. Hard to take seriously and with those black boots it wreaks of fashion victim.
I've written a few times both here and on several forums about how clothing can help portray an attitude. Of course the actual way a person carries themselves is mostly responsible for the actual attitude that shines through but I've always felt that there are styles and methods of dressing that assist in this a great deal.
The outfit above lends itself to a bit of mystery. Both the angle of the hat and the fit of the pants provide a sense of separation and distance from her. Even if you were "with her" I get the sense that she would be fairly aloof towards you, thinking more about herself and completely indifferent to your presence. She'll decide when you matter.
Luckily most of my girlfriends and Mistresses over the years have enjoyed my taste in clothing. I have enjoyed shopping with them and usually just let them know when something turns me on or I think it's sexy and I can often spot items that will flatter their figure. Often they would simply tell me what kind of look they were going for and I would help pick out a few things.
To me this look says, "it will be impossible to please me but I expect you to try." A leather bustier and a riding crop seem to go hand in hand with this ensemble.
Not quite as menacing here but still very aggressive. The loose fit of the turtleneck and thickness of the collar keep the breasts a mystery but the fitted waist and flared hem coupled with the fitted leggings and leather boots says, "I know I'm sexy and you find me attractive. Everything will be on my terms or you can take a walk."
I'm not sure if others agree with me on these but those are the kind of reads I get when I see women's fashion.
For a bit of contrast...
This conjures up images of the bunny tail anal plug I wrote about in an earlier post. Hard to take seriously and with those black boots it wreaks of fashion victim.
A small dialogue
The basis of this was from a blog I read several months ago. I can't remember the blog but I remember an excerpt from it. While I do some fetish fiction writing I am not what you would call a talented writer. I tend to get an outline for a story done and start writing it only to get halfway and get distracted with life and I never go back and finish it.
Here is a little bit that showed up in a dream I had the other night (that I'm certain was inspired by that blog I read before). It would be a dialogue between a novice man and an experienced woman who had recently entered into a D/s Femdom relationship (or it could be a woman deciding to become Dominant in an already established marriage).
Woman (in a smug tone): Your orgasms will soon resemble Santa Claus.
man (candidly): As in, he gives you exactly what you want if you are good?
Woman (smug): That's some wishful thinking. Guess again.
man (uncertainly): As in he comes once a year?
Woman (with a sense of satisfaction): Exactly.
man (slightly fearful): You're joking, right? Isn't that a little unfair?
Woman (scheming): You don't believe in that?
man (attempting to be forceful): No way.
Woman (smug): What happens when boys stop believing in Santa Claus?
man (afraid): He doesn't come at all?
Woman (satisfied): Correct. Now do you believe?
man - nods silently.
Woman (smug): And naughty, defiant, little boys that disagree with their Mistresses?
(at this point I'm picturing her introducing a chastity device into their lifestyle).
Here is a little bit that showed up in a dream I had the other night (that I'm certain was inspired by that blog I read before). It would be a dialogue between a novice man and an experienced woman who had recently entered into a D/s Femdom relationship (or it could be a woman deciding to become Dominant in an already established marriage).
Woman (in a smug tone): Your orgasms will soon resemble Santa Claus.
man (candidly): As in, he gives you exactly what you want if you are good?
Woman (smug): That's some wishful thinking. Guess again.
man (uncertainly): As in he comes once a year?
Woman (with a sense of satisfaction): Exactly.
man (slightly fearful): You're joking, right? Isn't that a little unfair?
Woman (scheming): You don't believe in that?
man (attempting to be forceful): No way.
Woman (smug): What happens when boys stop believing in Santa Claus?
man (afraid): He doesn't come at all?
Woman (satisfied): Correct. Now do you believe?
man - nods silently.
Woman (smug): And naughty, defiant, little boys that disagree with their Mistresses?
(at this point I'm picturing her introducing a chastity device into their lifestyle).
Thoughts on dulling the post-orgasmic drop from subspace
Over the years I've read up on and experienced various attempts at hastening the return to subspace for a submissive male after he is permitted an orgasm. The post-orgasmic loss of focus and attentiveness of a sub is quite well-documented and it can last upwards of a week.
I was curious if anyone had any ideas on how to accomplish this?
A few ideas I know of:
-Forcing the sub to lick up or drink their own cum after orgasm.
-Forcing the sub to orgasm in a humiliating manner such as shooting their load onto their own face or chest.
-A strict session of corporal punishment immediately following orgasm.
-Prolonged stimulation of the frenum post-orgasm, continuing until the pain has them begging you to stop.
-Time kneeling in the corner with the hands behind the head "reflecting" on the privilege of the male orgasm and how this will seem like a distant memory by the time the next one comes around.
-Immediate return to a chastity device.
I'm guessing there are at least a few of you out there that have experimented with this subject and have things that both have and haven't worked. Please share them if you can.
I was curious if anyone had any ideas on how to accomplish this?
A few ideas I know of:
-Forcing the sub to lick up or drink their own cum after orgasm.
-Forcing the sub to orgasm in a humiliating manner such as shooting their load onto their own face or chest.
-A strict session of corporal punishment immediately following orgasm.
-Prolonged stimulation of the frenum post-orgasm, continuing until the pain has them begging you to stop.
-Time kneeling in the corner with the hands behind the head "reflecting" on the privilege of the male orgasm and how this will seem like a distant memory by the time the next one comes around.
-Immediate return to a chastity device.
I'm guessing there are at least a few of you out there that have experimented with this subject and have things that both have and haven't worked. Please share them if you can.
Anal Plugs, Pegging, and Historical Connections
She had thought the bunny tail butt plug would go perfectly with my other outfits but I told her not to spend the money on it since I wouldn't wear it and referenced one of my hard limits which was nothing up my butt. I have a past history of abuse from my childhood and when anything gets near my rectum I go into a state of extreme panic and usually start crying. Basically, that kind of thing was off-limits.
As things have moved on since then we went through a stage of problems and in order to help rectify them I waived my no anal hard limit. This led to a rather intimate and heavy emotional experience that left me in tears but at the same time it has pushed me to an even deeper state of subspace that I had not experienced before. I knew that I wouldn't be able to respond in a rational manner when the moment arrived so we planned beforehand and devised a method of restraint that would prevent me from blocking her (wrists chained to the ankles and a spreader bar chaining the ankles together, everything secured by locks) and included a blindfold and a gag. This held me face down in the butt up position. We had agreed beforehand that she didn't have to stop no matter what I did unless she wanted to stop.
I was breathing heavily and my pulse was racing. Immediately upon contact I began to cry. I was writhing around, tugging against the chains and sobbing into a pillow. A few minutes into it something odd happened. I felt like I "left myself" and my mind just surrendered to the situation. I had a bit of a flashback to a Greek history class I took back in college. One day we covered the portrayal of anal sex between men and women (if you aren't familiar, there are lots and lots of paintings and pottery portraying women being penetrated anally, sometimes while being forced to perform fellatio at the same time). The professor explained how this exemplified the status difference in Greece between men and women and how anal sex portrayed symbols of one-sided pleasure. Basically, if a man fucked a woman up the ass it was to ensure that he received pleasure and she received none. Strangely enough, it was this lesson that ended up showing up in my brain and this set on a big feeling...
I was being used... this was one-sided pleasure pointed in her favor. I was her fuck-hole. I plunged deeper into subspace full of a new type of shame and humiliation I wasn't accustomed to. A deeper shame and humiliation aided in the fact that she had dressed me up to the gills before we started. Around this time she noticed that I had a raging hard-on (I hadn't even been aware of that). It was a bit of a shock because it was more intense than my usual erections, I thought the skin around my penis was going to burst. She started giving me a reach-around and commented on it, making it fully aware in my mind and adding another dimension to the subspace. Not only was I being used but my submissive self was enjoying being used so unilaterally. While I hated the penetration, the experience itself had every nerve in my body firing and my brain was spinning out of control.
This was about 8 months ago when all of this happened and we have had several more intense experiences of this nature since then.
I guess what I'm getting at is that I've started to reconsider the idea of an anal plug. I know anal plugs are used frequently when it comes to sissification. From what I've gathered it gives a feeling of being "filled in" and forces the hips to sway in a more feminine motion while walking. I don't really have any draw to that but the symbol of it all does "get me" in that way. That way meaning that it keys on the Dominant/submissive inequality to a rather hefty extent. The plug gives no directly pleasure to the Domme. For the sub it delivers quite a bit of discomfort and humiliation. For the Domme, I can then see only two reasons for doing it both revolving around the same scenario.
1. She has him wear an anal plug for discomfort and to serve as either a punishment, for training purposes, and/or reminder of his status.
2. She has him wear an anal plug for discomfort and she takes pleasure in his discomfort (that requires no effort on her part to inflict).
The odd thing for me is that both of these things appeal to some level of subspace for me but each caters to a different type of subspace. This is where things get blurred for me... I hate the experience of it but I like the feelings it brings. Such is the craziness of being a submissive male.
Pegging is something that sort of makes sense to me and sort of doesn't. My Mistress has a strong fetish for pegging (which sometimes makes/made me wonder why she chose me even though I was forthright with my "no anal" hard limit). Standard strap-ons don't make a lot of sense to me both in Lesbian and heterosexual Femdom sex. Feeldoes, double-ended strap-ons, etc. do make sense to me. In Lesbian sex, both parties receive pleasure, in Femdom sex, only the woman receives pleasure. With a single-ended strap-on, unless the Domme has a direct fetish for pegging (or the side-effects on the sub emotionally from being pegged) these just don't make much sense to me. The one-sided pleasure idea behind pegging tickles my submissive fancy but the actual act of being pegged isn't something I'm fond of. I guess I just don't quite connect with a pegging fetish on its standard levels as I've met several women and men who get completely aroused by strap-on play. I have used male strap-ons before during sex with my Mistresses and those did "do it" for me because it was also one-sided pleasure in her favor.
I guess my thoughts are just all over the place on this one.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Duplicity of Being: submissive in private, ??? in public
I've read varying accounts on different blogs and websites about submissive men who hold very different public and private personas. A lot of the times submission provides a relief from the stress and pressure of everyday life, but at the same time, being a dominant with a submissive to serve you can also provide a relief from the same stress and pressure, just in a different way.
I don't ever think there's an absolute correlation between submissive men and their public personalities. I've met apparent alpha-males who are submissive in private and I have met meek and timid men who are also submissive.
I definitely fall into the type with multiple personas. In daily life I am a rather take-charge person often put into a position of multi-tasking with a great deal of responsibility. I also do a lot of teaching and training of others. Socially, if I am in a comfortable environment I am usually quite outgoing and often find myself in the position of the one telling the stories and jokes, choosing the movie to go to, etc.
Throughout most of my life, I would say that at any given time, roughly 70% of my closest friends were women. While that has changed lately, one thing remains the same. While I am 100% comfortable in a friendship with a woman, when it comes to a romantic relationship, I am very shy, subdued, and a bit insecure. I am afraid to instigate physical contact unless told to. I am timid about doing and saying the right things at the right time. Basically, I'm the polar opposite of my public persona and I flow naturally into a submissive role in relationships.
Oddly enough, it is my public persona that determines much of the effort and work ethic I adhere to in submission. It is my sense of pride in serving well, wishing to be the best, wanting to improve my being and better please her that has helped me over the years.
I think some of the strange balance probably shows up in my writing. I have a feeling that if you look at all of my blog entries it probably seems like there are two different people writing them. I have my set of tips, ideas, philosophical ramblings, analysis, etc. that very much reflects my public persona. On the other side of the fence are my posts that display my insecurities, my fetishes, my shame, my weaknesses, and my submission. I'm guessing it's probably quite a contrast to readers.
I didn't really have an overall point here, just that I find this duplicity of character to be interesting.
I don't ever think there's an absolute correlation between submissive men and their public personalities. I've met apparent alpha-males who are submissive in private and I have met meek and timid men who are also submissive.
I definitely fall into the type with multiple personas. In daily life I am a rather take-charge person often put into a position of multi-tasking with a great deal of responsibility. I also do a lot of teaching and training of others. Socially, if I am in a comfortable environment I am usually quite outgoing and often find myself in the position of the one telling the stories and jokes, choosing the movie to go to, etc.
Throughout most of my life, I would say that at any given time, roughly 70% of my closest friends were women. While that has changed lately, one thing remains the same. While I am 100% comfortable in a friendship with a woman, when it comes to a romantic relationship, I am very shy, subdued, and a bit insecure. I am afraid to instigate physical contact unless told to. I am timid about doing and saying the right things at the right time. Basically, I'm the polar opposite of my public persona and I flow naturally into a submissive role in relationships.
Oddly enough, it is my public persona that determines much of the effort and work ethic I adhere to in submission. It is my sense of pride in serving well, wishing to be the best, wanting to improve my being and better please her that has helped me over the years.
I think some of the strange balance probably shows up in my writing. I have a feeling that if you look at all of my blog entries it probably seems like there are two different people writing them. I have my set of tips, ideas, philosophical ramblings, analysis, etc. that very much reflects my public persona. On the other side of the fence are my posts that display my insecurities, my fetishes, my shame, my weaknesses, and my submission. I'm guessing it's probably quite a contrast to readers.
I didn't really have an overall point here, just that I find this duplicity of character to be interesting.
Tribute: Georgeann Cross
Several years ago I somehow stumbled across a site hosting an unpublished book by Georgann Cross. The book is titled Sexual Power for Women: A Real-World Guide to Sexually Enslaving Your Man.
I downloaded the book in PDF form that night and ended up... reading the entire thing straight through (which took several hours and I was up until the wee hours of the morning.
It is a very well-written book instructing techniques from a woman's point of view on how to take control in a relationship or marriage. There include several real-life stories that give examples of a woman taking control yielding great benefits for a relationship.
The site can be found here: Sexual Power for Women
If you are a woman just discovering this lifestyle or if you are a sub male trying to introduce his partner in a non-threatening manner, I would definitely recommend giving it a read.
I downloaded the book in PDF form that night and ended up... reading the entire thing straight through (which took several hours and I was up until the wee hours of the morning.
It is a very well-written book instructing techniques from a woman's point of view on how to take control in a relationship or marriage. There include several real-life stories that give examples of a woman taking control yielding great benefits for a relationship.
The site can be found here: Sexual Power for Women
If you are a woman just discovering this lifestyle or if you are a sub male trying to introduce his partner in a non-threatening manner, I would definitely recommend giving it a read.
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