Saturday, March 25, 2017

30 Days of submission: Day 5

Have you been or are you in a dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you? 

I have been in D/s relationships.  My current relationship was D/s, but isn't at the moment.

Have you been in more than one D/s relationship? 

I have been in three.  Four if you include a woman that "trained" me few a couple of months in the time between K and F.  She was more of a sub/switch than a Domme but she enjoyed kinky play and I was hurt and lonely.  I will not include her in the future answers.

How were they the same? 

All of them were loving.  All were D/s from the start.  All of them involved domestic discipline to correct my behaviors.  All of them twisted my enjoyment of fur into forced feminization to humiliate me.  All of them kept me in a submissive state whenever possible.  K and T were fairly new to the roles.  F was a veteran but new to being able to "unleash the beast."  All three had learning curves and periods of doubt and growth.

How were they different?

K was 1 year older than me.  F was 25 years older than me.  T was 12 years older than me.  I'm not ageist but it made a difference in regards to what we did outside of kink.  K was a strict micro-manager that held a lot of beliefs on principle.  F was a very intense and strict sadist who was also a female supremacist.  She wanted me to worship her like a Goddess while I was a lowly slave.  T was more drawn to particular activities: domestic discipline, anal play, etc. and she functioned better in this way than lifestyle D/s.

What is unique about your relationships in your mind?

I don't ever really feel unique if that makes any sense.  People on the outside said we were unique but mostly because of the depth of our love and my devotion.  Apparently the other couples we came across weren't accustomed to seeing a submissive male who could adapt to a mindset of service and shed my external desires.  I don't see this as being unique really. 


  1. Perhaps your ability to adopt a mindset of service and shed your external desires wasn't so much as unique, but is something that is quite rarely seen that others would perhaps see it as such.

    It is a wonderful quality to have! But yes, definitely rarely seen IMHO.

    Interesting 30 days, of how different our relationships can be, between one and another, but also, how they in their own way, still fulfil needs that may exist.

    Best, Kat

    1. Thank you, Kat.

      I am glad you think it is wonderful. I find so often in the blogosphere that people often write as if I cannot/do not exist and it always bums me out.

      This was an interesting one to write and especially difficult because I love them all.

      Take care.

    2. The difficult thing with online written word is that it can be written with such different "tone" that it can be misinterpreted, but also I think we all know there are people that hide behind screens and think it is acceptable to treat people poorly.

      This is a reflection on them not you, I can understand that this burns you out, don't let me have the what you need to for you, write for you and ignore the "haters", those who try to make you look or feel are neither!

      Best, Kat

    3. Thank you, Kat.

      Thicker skin is something I wish I had. I think some of it is rooted in my desire to converse and interact throught comments. It makes it hard when I read something and my only thought is "this doesn't pertain to me..."

      Take care.