I have to say that I'm a little bit envious of femsubs. It's not that I desire to be female or to be in a Mf type of relationship, but that world is just so drastically different that I can't help but feel a slight bit of envy.
In the past year I have interacted with more femsubs in the blogosphere than ever before and with a lot more regularly since the days when I still attended munches with a local BDSM group.
If anything, the envy comes from the fact that there are so many different types of sub/Dom relationships that exist in Mf that just rarely if ever happen in Fm. In a way, it's sort of like telling one side, "oh, you can be anything if you set your mind to it. You can be a doctor, lawyer, or whatever you want to be." On the other side, it's "oh, you're a man. You can be a butler."
I know this is a horribly biased over-simplification, but sometimes it feels this way. Don't get me wrong, I am completely down for a life of loving service and devotion, but I have to wonder if there was only one path available to femsubs if they would also carry the stigma of being "wankers."
e.g. A femsub little finds a Daddy Dom that will care for them in such a way that both the little and submissive needs are taken care of. A malesub little pays $250 an hour and is a pariah.
I guess it's just strange to me that in many Mf relationships it draws out the nurturing and protective sides of men, but with Fm, it feels almost like the opposite. In clarification of that last sentence, I do believe that Dommes are loving and caring, it's just in a very different way. It feels almost as if dominant women do not want to have any maternal instinct when it comes to dealing with subs. That is understandable on many levels, I just find it interesting.
I'm not trying to judge and say that any one way is right or wrong, it just fascinates me how different the endgames are.
I'm not big on cramming myself into boxes, so generally speaking, labels tend to tweak me. But I have to say I find the myriad of "acceptable" labels / relationship styles in M/f to be... Well, there are more of them, compared to F/m, aren't there?
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, I have had very hot experiences with a baby boy and have been called "Momma" in a way that made my panties drip. (Not that I wear panties. I don't. But if I did, they would have been dripping.)
It never occurred to me to label that relationship similarly to DD/lg (MD/lb?), but in a lot of ways that's what it was. And I'm totally into boys who know how to PLAY. Not in a kinky way, but in a "let's be kids for a minute and have FUN" kind of way, like on a playground or at a park or a county fair.
So I think your point is valid; this post has me thinking a bit more about the imbalance where labels are concerned.
(And for the record, I am a Nurturer.)
Thank you very much, Mrs Fever.
DeleteYears ago when there were a lot more active blogs I really didn't venture off into M/f territory at all, but when I ventured into Wordpress last year and did some tag searches I found a number of M/f blogs that I enjoyed, one of which wrote a rather in depth article on submissive types. I remember thinking... uhh... like how come I have never heard of any of these?
Thank you for sharing your baby boy experience. You are the first person I have met that has ever mentioned it on a context other than "I've already raised a kid, the last thing I want to deal with is another one."
The labels game becomes an odd one. I think a lot about the long-run endgame and the states that D/s relationships frequently plateau at as they evolve. In the F/m world it seems to be Queen/Knight, chaste cuck/Hotwife, a 24-7 variant, and whatever FLR classifies themselves as now because they will insist it is different. Poly relationships tend to have a LOT more variance.
Thankfully I have reached a place in my mind where I have accepted the likely outcome of whatever I end up in (or if my current relationship ever gets the kink going again). I can sympathize with those who just don't seem to fit into the F/m roles that are available to them.
Take care.