How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?
I think the primary difference between real life and fantasy are long-term consequences, repercussions, and after-effects.
I believe in fantasy it's easy to envision intense activities without worrying too much about the future. E.g. In fantasy a punishment or beating might be incredibly severe. In reality, the effects of that punishment may lead to bruising, scars, soreness, and the like that will affect you until it heals. It is also easy for someone to fantasize about say, permanent chastity but the actual reality would end up being too much for them to bear in the long run.
While I do believe that fantasy has a good number of benefits for people, there is also sometimes a tendency to exaggerate a Domme's characteristics and abilities. There is a lot of backlash against fantasy due to it creating unrealistic expectations. This is always something to keep in mind.
I believe I have been able to temper myself pretty well at creating "realistic" fantasies that take a lot of factors into consideration such as the Domme's preferences, time, space, money, and the like.