Friday, April 7, 2017

30 Days of submission: Day 18

Very often the stereotype of submission is that the submissive person loses the ability to have an opinion. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your submission and how do you communicate your desires and needs?

Hooray.  It's a nice break to read something with a disclaimer statement that acknowledges that something else might exist.

In my experiences, communication of needs and desires are usually covered before we get going in the relationship.  As such, our needs and desires are pretty much accepted beforehand.

That being said, finding times to talk about what is and isn't working and where improvements can be made to increase the overall happiness is pretty crucial.

As a whole, once things get rolling I end up accepting what is given to me and try not to ask for too much more unless something is severely lacking.  

I expect her to communicate her needs and wants as these become the focus of my submission.  Most times when my shortcomings are communicated to me I am bent over, in tears, and being scolded and disciplined.  This tends to drive the lesson home pretty quickly and I do not mind this method since it is effective.

I will say that I do struggle a bit with communicating things that I fear will upset her.  At varying times in my various relationships this has been more difficult to do than in others.  I also know there is a time and place to talk about things, and in the best times I've had there were times set aside to talk in this way regularly until things started flowing comfortably.


  1. I like the idea of having a time set aside to talk openly.

    1. Thank you, Misty.

      It is a good plan all-around, especially at the start. Ours was once a week... then once a month... then never unless one of us asked for it. It didn't take to realize that the never idea is not a good one.

      Take care.