I'm really wishing I could break out of this mood. My head aches.
Life right now feels like a roller-coaster ride of spikes of hope and inspiration balanced off by disappointment and frustration. It's funny how the definition of balance rarely equates to feeling balanced. Equal amounts of feast and famine technically yields a balance but it feels like shit. Prolonged indifference is also a balance but isn't actually desirable. "You need to find balance," is such a commonly used phrase of advice... but I've always felt what people actually mean is "you need to find hope for something."
I don't know why it is that I go through phases of "frenzy" and seek human contact when the process exhausts me and the strong connections I do make tend to happen naturally. Rationally I know this, but it still seems to be a habit of mine.
It's surprising how much "balance" comes from this blog and the people who leave comments here. I really enjoy hearing from people here and the connections I have made with you are very special to me. I hope that I can break out of this mood.