Friday, April 7, 2017

My Head Aches

I'm really wishing I could break out of this mood.  My head aches.

Life right now feels like a roller-coaster ride of spikes of hope and inspiration balanced off by disappointment and frustration.  It's funny how the definition of balance rarely equates to feeling balanced.  Equal amounts of feast and famine technically yields a balance but it feels like shit.  Prolonged indifference is also a balance but isn't actually desirable.  "You need to find balance," is such a commonly used phrase of advice... but I've always felt what people actually mean is "you need to find hope for something."

I don't know why it is that I go through phases of "frenzy" and seek human contact when the process exhausts me and the strong connections I do make tend to happen naturally.  Rationally I know this, but it still seems to be a habit of mine. 

It's surprising how much "balance" comes from this blog and the people who leave comments here.  I really enjoy hearing from people here and the connections I have made with you are very special to me.  I hope that I can break out of this mood.


  1. Dear Fur,

    I hope so too. Some think it's easy to find a balance and that isn't always the case and the balance can often come from things that we need but are missing.

    Am here if you need to reach out.

    Best, Kat

    1. Thank you, Kat.

      Those missing needs are likely what is keeping me trapped in this state of unbalance. I will definitely be giving this more thought.

      Take care.