We've been having some great discussions over at a newer blog called From Vanilla To Kinky - Our FLR Journey. One of the topics we touched on recently included chastity.
I know that I've written about that before but Marc and Cleo have been stopping by and reading so I felt it was more appropriate to elaborate on this subject here rather than clogging up their comments on a topic that was a minor part of the discussion.
As my long-time readers know, I have some limited experiences with chastity. I've never worn a CB for an extended period of time but I have worn them from time to time and we own three of them. Chastity is a subject that brings up many mixed emotions in me and it's complicated to the point where I barely understand it (but I will try to in this post). I am not really a chastity enthusiast but there are some special things it is capable of doing.
One of my ex's (after we were no longer together but we remained on decent terms) developed a super hardline approach to chastity. "All male subs should be kept in chastity all the time. They just can't stay out of trouble without them," is what she said to me during one of our chats. When I asked if they should be allowed out at all, and if so, how often, she responded, saying once or twice a year is more than enough.
My first reaction was "oh wow?!" both at the fact that she said that and even more so that I had an erection. Would I want that? No. Could I handle that? Probably not well. So what was it about it that got me going? The thought of being with a woman that would be so strict and cruel that she would enforce that upon me, half under the guise of keeping me well behaved yet mainly rooted in the idea that she would love watching me suffer in a chastity belt.
After thinking about it for some time, I realized I actually agree with her reasons. Chastity belts can have such a powerful effect and they hit home in many different ways.
-As a preventative measure from touching without permission.
-As a deterrent for misbehavior: behave or you'll stay locked up another week/month/year.
-As a symbol of ownership: she who has the keys owns what's inside.
-An increase in submissive awareness: every time you even attempt an erection you'll remember.
-An easy target for a mind-fuck: to him, release might be the most important thing in the world but for her, it probably doesn't even matter so she can mess with it all she wants.
-A perpetuating submissive loop: it turns him on that she controls him, but he can't get it up which reminds him that she controls him, this turns him on, etc.
I'm sure I could rattle off at least 20 other things but it's probably obvious what I'm alluding to. Basically, there's lots of benefits from enforcing chastity.
There are subs out there that are completely capable of exerting enough self-control to not "cheat" by playing with themselves. However, this situation usually involves constant D/s interactions keeping him in subspace so that he won't drift into fantasy and rub one out. If your day to day lives have factors preventing such interactions from happening regularly, he will probably slip up at least once in a while. For many Dommes, once is still too many.
Even under circumstances where he is completely obedient in this regards, a chastity device is a big slap in the face. "I know you're obedient but I'm going to lock you up anyways."
A few quick notes before I proceed. I have a very tight scrotum and tender skin, both of which make budget-friendly devices (under $400) very uncomfortable for prolonged wear. I am not circumcised so removal for daily cleaning also adds to the inconvenience. My current Mistress is not a chastity enthusiast so we have never desired to budget for a more expensive belt that would fit me well for prolonged wear.
When I have been in chastity, it's ripe with inner conflict. The idea of the CB turns me on, so my penis constantly tries to get erect, only to have the CB prevent said erection and make me horribly aware of the situation. This in turn arouses me that I'm being forced to wear a CB and I try to get hard... loop loop.
It's a hard feeling to describe but it puts sexual frustration off the charts. One time when wearing one Mistress put a fur scrunchie on over the belt and behind the balls. Every time I moved got the fur rubbing against my scrotum and the base of my penis. It was heaven and hell.
An odd bi-product is that I have found when in a CB my nipples get extremely erect and sensitive.
Something I'm not sure of is that I think I get turned on by the idea of CB's because it's a controlled situation where I know it will be removed soon (within 12 hours). The idea of being locked up for say, 3 months, is more of a fantasy than realistic event that I would ever want to experience (stupid male syndrome), yet this still turns me on. I think I can chalk this one up to the abused slave fantasy although if I were ever able to experience a belt that didn't hurt I'm not 100% sure on where I stand. I love to orgasm but I can openly admit I'm a better sub when denied and frustrated.
Mistress locked me in chastity the first time she pegged me and I think that really increased the intensity of my feelings on the subject. The "this is for my pleasure and you'll have none" aspect of it had me into the deepest subspace I've ever experienced.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
Femdom as and Economic Theory - Dommes and Monopoly vs. Oligopoly
Monpoloy Power
In a perfect world, a capitalist system functions under the theory of perfect competition. The idea of perfect competition has a few underlying principles, but the basic outcome of this theoretical model is that both buyers and sellers are "price takers," and accept the prices determined by market equilibrium.
As I have described in previous posts, the D/s relationship "market" is far from ideal. If Dommes are sellers and subs are buyers, this system of imperfect competition closely resembles that of a monopoly, with Dommes holding an immense amount of market power.
A monopoly has several distinguishing characerstics:
-There is only one seller of a particular commodity.
-There are no close substitutes.
-Other parties are barred from entry into the market.
Dommes set the "price" and all subs have to concede.
As I had originally started to write this I found the last characteristic rather bothersome because there's really nothing preventing more women from becoming Dommes, so the "market" being this biased is a bit interesting.
Hypothetical: Evolving into an Oligopoly
Hypothetically speaking, if enough new Dommes appeared to shift the sub to Domme ratio from ~26:1 to something closer to say, 6:1, the behavior of the market would change a little. While the market would still favor Dommes, the Dommes themselves would more closely resemble an oligopoly.
To make things easier (and more realistic), I am working under the assumption that all subs do not grant equal utility to Dommes. Subs that are more physically attractive, financially stable/successful, most loyal/obedient/capable in their submission, etc. will yield more utility to a Domme than typical or mediocre subs.
While Dommes are still in the minority and are in control of the scarce resource, they must now consider the behavior of the other Dommes seeking subs in order to attract the subs yielding the highest utility. Basically, they can still be in the position of power but they may have to be willing to make certain compromises to maximize their utility or the Dommes with the most favorable terms (read as: the most enjoyable kinky activities for the subs) will likely end up with the "best" subs.
It is, however, unlikely that the number of Dommes will quadruple any time soon so this probably won't be too significant of a threat. I also find it rather interesting that Dommes can put themselves at a disadvantage by having more Dommes around.
In a perfect world, a capitalist system functions under the theory of perfect competition. The idea of perfect competition has a few underlying principles, but the basic outcome of this theoretical model is that both buyers and sellers are "price takers," and accept the prices determined by market equilibrium.
As I have described in previous posts, the D/s relationship "market" is far from ideal. If Dommes are sellers and subs are buyers, this system of imperfect competition closely resembles that of a monopoly, with Dommes holding an immense amount of market power.
A monopoly has several distinguishing characerstics:
-There is only one seller of a particular commodity.
-There are no close substitutes.
-Other parties are barred from entry into the market.
Dommes set the "price" and all subs have to concede.
As I had originally started to write this I found the last characteristic rather bothersome because there's really nothing preventing more women from becoming Dommes, so the "market" being this biased is a bit interesting.
Hypothetical: Evolving into an Oligopoly
Hypothetically speaking, if enough new Dommes appeared to shift the sub to Domme ratio from ~26:1 to something closer to say, 6:1, the behavior of the market would change a little. While the market would still favor Dommes, the Dommes themselves would more closely resemble an oligopoly.
To make things easier (and more realistic), I am working under the assumption that all subs do not grant equal utility to Dommes. Subs that are more physically attractive, financially stable/successful, most loyal/obedient/capable in their submission, etc. will yield more utility to a Domme than typical or mediocre subs.
While Dommes are still in the minority and are in control of the scarce resource, they must now consider the behavior of the other Dommes seeking subs in order to attract the subs yielding the highest utility. Basically, they can still be in the position of power but they may have to be willing to make certain compromises to maximize their utility or the Dommes with the most favorable terms (read as: the most enjoyable kinky activities for the subs) will likely end up with the "best" subs.
It is, however, unlikely that the number of Dommes will quadruple any time soon so this probably won't be too significant of a threat. I also find it rather interesting that Dommes can put themselves at a disadvantage by having more Dommes around.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Femdom as an Economic Theory - More is better: Poly-relationships, Imperfect Substitutes and Composite Utility
I'm doing my best to keep the economic theory to a bearable amount but still include enough to reach an understanding of how it explains what actually happens in D/s courting. In this post I will likely candy coat the basic ideas of the theory since if I tried to go in depth it would likely bore the shit out of everyone.
At the end of my post on Perfect vs. Imperfect substitutes I touched on Dommes generally being more discerning than many subs.
Utility
Economic theory often deals with an idea known as "Utility." Basically, utility describes the amount of "goodness" someone receives from something. Perfect substitutes occur when choosing one item over another yields the same level of utility. Imperfect substitutes occur when choosing one substitute (lesser) item yields less utility than another (better) item.
Dommes are often faced with the challenge of considering or accepting subs that yield less utility than their ideal sub (read as: they aren't as happy with a good "fit" sub vs. a perfect fit sub). Their perfect sub probably doesn't exist, so substitution is a very common practice in D/s courting. The challenge then becomes finding a sub that is "good enough" and trying to shape him to something that is as close to perfect as possible.
Technically, the economic theories on utility generally work based upon a fixed income and/or describe what happens during changes in income. However, as I wrote about in my Barter System post, Femdom is a scarce and valuable resource.
Maximizing Utility through Poly-relationships
If a Domme realizes her services are an extremely valuable commodity, she can in turn increase her "buying power" tremendously. That is, rather than settle for one imperfect sub, she can take on multiple subs that together can meet every one of her desires and maximize her utility.
e.g. one sub is her emotional lover, one sub is her cleaning maid and money slave, one sub is her big cock for sex, one sub is her intense pain slut, etc.
This has its advantages as she never has to go without something she wants and there is less emotional attachment to individual subs if they ever decide/desire to leave. It also sends a strong message to subs that they are replaceable if they don't meet her performance expectations.
There is a Limit
While it might seem perfect on paper, the more subs that are present the less attention each sub will inevitably receive, reducing their utility. Also, the number of subs capable of functioning as part of a stable over the long-run (even if they say they can) is relatively small.
While this idea may have its flaws, I can see many cases where it would probably yield greater utility for a Domme than searching for one perfect sub.
At the end of my post on Perfect vs. Imperfect substitutes I touched on Dommes generally being more discerning than many subs.
Utility
Economic theory often deals with an idea known as "Utility." Basically, utility describes the amount of "goodness" someone receives from something. Perfect substitutes occur when choosing one item over another yields the same level of utility. Imperfect substitutes occur when choosing one substitute (lesser) item yields less utility than another (better) item.
Dommes are often faced with the challenge of considering or accepting subs that yield less utility than their ideal sub (read as: they aren't as happy with a good "fit" sub vs. a perfect fit sub). Their perfect sub probably doesn't exist, so substitution is a very common practice in D/s courting. The challenge then becomes finding a sub that is "good enough" and trying to shape him to something that is as close to perfect as possible.
Technically, the economic theories on utility generally work based upon a fixed income and/or describe what happens during changes in income. However, as I wrote about in my Barter System post, Femdom is a scarce and valuable resource.
Maximizing Utility through Poly-relationships
If a Domme realizes her services are an extremely valuable commodity, she can in turn increase her "buying power" tremendously. That is, rather than settle for one imperfect sub, she can take on multiple subs that together can meet every one of her desires and maximize her utility.
e.g. one sub is her emotional lover, one sub is her cleaning maid and money slave, one sub is her big cock for sex, one sub is her intense pain slut, etc.
This has its advantages as she never has to go without something she wants and there is less emotional attachment to individual subs if they ever decide/desire to leave. It also sends a strong message to subs that they are replaceable if they don't meet her performance expectations.
There is a Limit
While it might seem perfect on paper, the more subs that are present the less attention each sub will inevitably receive, reducing their utility. Also, the number of subs capable of functioning as part of a stable over the long-run (even if they say they can) is relatively small.
While this idea may have its flaws, I can see many cases where it would probably yield greater utility for a Domme than searching for one perfect sub.
Femdom as and Economic Theory - Perfect vs. Imperfect Substitues: Discerning Dommes and Idiot subs
This post somewhat builds off of the last scenario I wrote about in my Barter System post and is also rooted in the Theory of supply and demand..
Substitution as an economic term refers to people consuming/purchasing one good instead of another for various reasons.
A perfect substitute is an item that is consumed that yields the same amount of "goodness" (utility) as a different item. e.g. If Pepsi goes on sale, people will increase their consumption of Pepsi and decrease their consumption of Coke. Similarly, if the price of Pepsi goes up, people will increase their consumption of Coke and decrease their consumption of Pepsi. In either case, the total amount of cola consumed will remain pretty much the same. In this example, Coke and Pepsi act as perfect substitutes.
Why some lonely and single male subs can be super annoying
In many cases, Dommes in a particular area often know each other. They often see each other at munches/play parties/gatherings or at least correspond every so often on the internet. One of the biggest headaches for Dommes in a particular area is often a couple of subs that are so starved for dominance yet oblivious to manners and etiquette that they end up being a pain in the ass to every Domme in the area.
When 22 women in one city receive an email from one person saying "u should dominat me" and includes a picture of their dick, you can be fairly sure that this person will be shit-listed by all of them.
On occasion, you'll also find a few subs that aren't as stupid but still seem to make the same general mistake: contacting all of the Dommes within a relatively short period of time.
Desperation tends to breed this behavior and this behavior indicates that a sub in this state treats Dommes like perfect substitutes. No Coke? Pepsi. No Pepsi? R/c. No R/c? Shasta... and so on. They are so starved for domination that they will take it in any way, shape, or form. No matter how you look at it, it wreaks of being pathetic. Unfortunately, this is also a product of the drastic inequality of Femdoms to malesubs, so the tendency for this to happen remains consistent with the economic theory.
Discerning Dommes
Dommes tend to approach courting in a very different way. Dommes tend to treat subs like imperfect substitutes. That is, taking on a sub who is a poor fit (usually) yields less "goodness" than a sub who is a good fit. Rather than trying every available sub she will likely key in on ones who she feels can meet her needs or is of a frame of mind that could be easily molded to meet her needs.
Oddly enough, Dommes that are overtly cruel and prefer subs that hate what they do to them will almost always search with a similar, if not greater amount of discretion. This is an odd scenario where her good fit is a poor fit for him, so it requires a sub that has the capacity to endure both mentally and physically under those circumstances.
Substitution as an economic term refers to people consuming/purchasing one good instead of another for various reasons.
A perfect substitute is an item that is consumed that yields the same amount of "goodness" (utility) as a different item. e.g. If Pepsi goes on sale, people will increase their consumption of Pepsi and decrease their consumption of Coke. Similarly, if the price of Pepsi goes up, people will increase their consumption of Coke and decrease their consumption of Pepsi. In either case, the total amount of cola consumed will remain pretty much the same. In this example, Coke and Pepsi act as perfect substitutes.
Why some lonely and single male subs can be super annoying
In many cases, Dommes in a particular area often know each other. They often see each other at munches/play parties/gatherings or at least correspond every so often on the internet. One of the biggest headaches for Dommes in a particular area is often a couple of subs that are so starved for dominance yet oblivious to manners and etiquette that they end up being a pain in the ass to every Domme in the area.
When 22 women in one city receive an email from one person saying "u should dominat me" and includes a picture of their dick, you can be fairly sure that this person will be shit-listed by all of them.
On occasion, you'll also find a few subs that aren't as stupid but still seem to make the same general mistake: contacting all of the Dommes within a relatively short period of time.
Desperation tends to breed this behavior and this behavior indicates that a sub in this state treats Dommes like perfect substitutes. No Coke? Pepsi. No Pepsi? R/c. No R/c? Shasta... and so on. They are so starved for domination that they will take it in any way, shape, or form. No matter how you look at it, it wreaks of being pathetic. Unfortunately, this is also a product of the drastic inequality of Femdoms to malesubs, so the tendency for this to happen remains consistent with the economic theory.
Discerning Dommes
Dommes tend to approach courting in a very different way. Dommes tend to treat subs like imperfect substitutes. That is, taking on a sub who is a poor fit (usually) yields less "goodness" than a sub who is a good fit. Rather than trying every available sub she will likely key in on ones who she feels can meet her needs or is of a frame of mind that could be easily molded to meet her needs.
Oddly enough, Dommes that are overtly cruel and prefer subs that hate what they do to them will almost always search with a similar, if not greater amount of discretion. This is an odd scenario where her good fit is a poor fit for him, so it requires a sub that has the capacity to endure both mentally and physically under those circumstances.
Femdom as an Economic Theory - Adverse Selection and the Lemon Problem
At the end of my Barter System post I briefly discussed some of the negative aspects of being one of a few Femdoms confronted with an over-whelming number of malesubs.
These problems are rooted in a couple of economic theories that were developed in order to describe certain types of market failures (market failures = when supply and demand fail to establish a perfect equilibrium).
Asymmetric Information, Adverse Selection and the Lemon Problem
Asymmetric information is a term that refers to a situation when one party has better or more complete information than the other. Adverse Selection is term referring to market failures due to "bad" outcomes occurring based upon asymmetric information.
The Lemon Problem describes the market for used cars and is the most common example used to describe this situation. A person selling a used car knows exactly how it has behaved over time and what problems it may have. A person buying a used car only knows what the seller tells them, which may or not be completely accurate/true.
Let's say:
1. A perfect, great running, used car should sell for $10,000.
2. An unreliable, problem prone, used car of the same year, model, and features should sell for $4,000.
The buyer doesn't know if the used car will be #1 or #2 (or somewhere in between). The actual selling price will likely be somewhere around $6,000-$7,000. This is considered a market failure since good cars sell below what they are worth and bad cars sell for more than they are worth.
The same used car may sell from a dealer for say, $9,000 since the dealer will likely have done a thorough inspection and offer some sort of warranty, but that is outside the scope of this post.
Why this makes it harder for subs
This same type of market failure happens frequently in D/s courting. The sub is like the used car and the Domme is the buyer. Good subs will sell themselves as good subs and bad subs will also sell themselves as good subs. It's (almost) impossible to tell good subs apart from bad subs without spending a significant amount of time with them.
This leads to several problems.
Many good subs will get passed over while being mistaken for bad subs in disguise.
Many bad subs posing as good subs will be chosen (and discarded), making Dommes even more skeptical towards subs in general.
It becomes next to impossible to truly sell yourself for who you are.
I know many Dommes that have developed intensive evaluation and testing periods in order to weed out the good from the bad. While I think that it is wise of them to do so, I think it's a bit of a shame that it has to be that way.
These problems are rooted in a couple of economic theories that were developed in order to describe certain types of market failures (market failures = when supply and demand fail to establish a perfect equilibrium).
Asymmetric Information, Adverse Selection and the Lemon Problem
Asymmetric information is a term that refers to a situation when one party has better or more complete information than the other. Adverse Selection is term referring to market failures due to "bad" outcomes occurring based upon asymmetric information.
The Lemon Problem describes the market for used cars and is the most common example used to describe this situation. A person selling a used car knows exactly how it has behaved over time and what problems it may have. A person buying a used car only knows what the seller tells them, which may or not be completely accurate/true.
Let's say:
1. A perfect, great running, used car should sell for $10,000.
2. An unreliable, problem prone, used car of the same year, model, and features should sell for $4,000.
The buyer doesn't know if the used car will be #1 or #2 (or somewhere in between). The actual selling price will likely be somewhere around $6,000-$7,000. This is considered a market failure since good cars sell below what they are worth and bad cars sell for more than they are worth.
The same used car may sell from a dealer for say, $9,000 since the dealer will likely have done a thorough inspection and offer some sort of warranty, but that is outside the scope of this post.
Why this makes it harder for subs
This same type of market failure happens frequently in D/s courting. The sub is like the used car and the Domme is the buyer. Good subs will sell themselves as good subs and bad subs will also sell themselves as good subs. It's (almost) impossible to tell good subs apart from bad subs without spending a significant amount of time with them.
This leads to several problems.
Many good subs will get passed over while being mistaken for bad subs in disguise.
Many bad subs posing as good subs will be chosen (and discarded), making Dommes even more skeptical towards subs in general.
It becomes next to impossible to truly sell yourself for who you are.
I know many Dommes that have developed intensive evaluation and testing periods in order to weed out the good from the bad. While I think that it is wise of them to do so, I think it's a bit of a shame that it has to be that way.
Femdom as an Economic Theory - The Barter System and Double Coincidence of wants
The Barter System
The evolution of money came about as a solution to the inconvenient method of trading known as the barter system. The barter system is trading ones' own goods or services in exchange for goods or services the one is seeking. Instead of trying to trade a day's labor for a bag of salt or 20 rabbit pelts for a bushel of wheat, it was easier to work a day's labor and be paid in money to buy the salt directly or sell the rabbit pelts for money to buy the wheat.
The principle governing success of the barter system is known as double-coincidence of wants. This occurs when the trader and tradee each want what the other is offering. Unfortunately this can be a very difficult task depending upon what one is offering and what one wants.
How this applies to Femdom relationships
BDSM relationships are often described in terms of their "fit." Fit rarely describes personal compatibility but usually focuses upon commonalities in desired kink. I won't comment on whether I think this is a good priority to have, I will just accept this is how courting usually occurs (although I will note that successful relationships of any kind usually requires good personal compatibility).
Dommes and subs seeking a good "fit" closely resembles the double-coincidence of wants. In most cases, you can think of someone's kinky desires as both what they have to offer and what they desire in return.
Why Femdoms hold all the bartering power
As I wrote in my post on Supply and Demand, the numbers are stacked in favor of Femdoms. Basically, for every one woman offering wheat, there's 27 men wanting wheat who will have to meet her demands to get it.
An example
male submissive X wants:
-Domination.
-A fetish-model sexy Mistress.
-Frequent kinky sex play.
-Light bondage.
-Light physical punishment.
Femdom A wants:
-Complete devotion and submission.
-Gainful employment / financial manipulation.
-Well-educated conversation.
-Strict chastity and orgasm denial.
-Intense corporal punishment and torture.
-Cuckolding.
-Branding/tattoos/piercings.
-Full domestic service.
-Body worship.
-Frequent cunnilingus.
-Humiliation.
Is Femdom A a good 'fit' for malesub X? Hell no. Will malesub X fore go his own wants and be willing to bend to Femdom A's demands? Probably. Does that make malesub X a good fit for Femdom A? If he'll go along, why not?
This is also rather inconvenient for Femdom A. If her demands are that strict the number of malesubs truly offering it are probably scarce as well. However, since she holds the power any sub that meet her criteria and will bend to her desires pretty much works out. Her greatest inconvenience is weeding out the fakers to find those truly willing to sacrifice.
I will cover more on this in my next post.
The evolution of money came about as a solution to the inconvenient method of trading known as the barter system. The barter system is trading ones' own goods or services in exchange for goods or services the one is seeking. Instead of trying to trade a day's labor for a bag of salt or 20 rabbit pelts for a bushel of wheat, it was easier to work a day's labor and be paid in money to buy the salt directly or sell the rabbit pelts for money to buy the wheat.
The principle governing success of the barter system is known as double-coincidence of wants. This occurs when the trader and tradee each want what the other is offering. Unfortunately this can be a very difficult task depending upon what one is offering and what one wants.
How this applies to Femdom relationships
BDSM relationships are often described in terms of their "fit." Fit rarely describes personal compatibility but usually focuses upon commonalities in desired kink. I won't comment on whether I think this is a good priority to have, I will just accept this is how courting usually occurs (although I will note that successful relationships of any kind usually requires good personal compatibility).
Dommes and subs seeking a good "fit" closely resembles the double-coincidence of wants. In most cases, you can think of someone's kinky desires as both what they have to offer and what they desire in return.
Why Femdoms hold all the bartering power
As I wrote in my post on Supply and Demand, the numbers are stacked in favor of Femdoms. Basically, for every one woman offering wheat, there's 27 men wanting wheat who will have to meet her demands to get it.
An example
male submissive X wants:
-Domination.
-A fetish-model sexy Mistress.
-Frequent kinky sex play.
-Light bondage.
-Light physical punishment.
Femdom A wants:
-Complete devotion and submission.
-Gainful employment / financial manipulation.
-Well-educated conversation.
-Strict chastity and orgasm denial.
-Intense corporal punishment and torture.
-Cuckolding.
-Branding/tattoos/piercings.
-Full domestic service.
-Body worship.
-Frequent cunnilingus.
-Humiliation.
Is Femdom A a good 'fit' for malesub X? Hell no. Will malesub X fore go his own wants and be willing to bend to Femdom A's demands? Probably. Does that make malesub X a good fit for Femdom A? If he'll go along, why not?
This is also rather inconvenient for Femdom A. If her demands are that strict the number of malesubs truly offering it are probably scarce as well. However, since she holds the power any sub that meet her criteria and will bend to her desires pretty much works out. Her greatest inconvenience is weeding out the fakers to find those truly willing to sacrifice.
I will cover more on this in my next post.
Femdom as an Economic Theory - Supply and Demand
The Basic Theory of Supply and Demand
Economic Theory is pretty much all based upon the theory of supply and demand.
The premise:
At a given price, consumers will demand X amount of a product.
To increase demand, lower the price.
To increase the price, lower the amount supplied (below what is demanded at its current price).
Scarce Resources and the BDSM Pyramid
It is generally accepted in the BDSM community that there is a pyramid-like hierarchy of orientation representations when it comes to BDSM preference. The actual numbers are sometimes debatable because it's common belief that male subs are over-represented on the internet but I also believe they are under-represented at BDSM functions. However, the order of the levels in the pyramid are never really questioned.
In my estimation (taken from both the internet and BDSM functions), the percentages are probably something like:
Female Dominant: ~2%
Male Dominant: ~13%
female submissive: ~32%
male submissive: ~53%
This means there is an approximately 2.5:1 femsub to Maledom ratio, but more than a 26:1 malesub to Femdom ratio.
The inequality leads to a special type of supply and demand interaction known as scarce resources. No matter how limited the supply, demand tends to remain the same. The end result is inflated prices and excess demand.
Basically, Femdom Nation is OPEC and male subs are the automobile driving public. No matter how "expensive" domination is, male subs will pay it, and regardless of the price, most male subs will be left out in the cold without it. Unless there's a drastic societal change, this situation won't change any time soon as there's no electric car equivalent to femdom.
Conclusion
Since the number of male subs so drastically out populate the number of Femdoms, Female Dominants have every advantage in both courting situations and D/s relationships.
Economic Theory is pretty much all based upon the theory of supply and demand.
The premise:
At a given price, consumers will demand X amount of a product.
To increase demand, lower the price.
To increase the price, lower the amount supplied (below what is demanded at its current price).
Scarce Resources and the BDSM Pyramid
It is generally accepted in the BDSM community that there is a pyramid-like hierarchy of orientation representations when it comes to BDSM preference. The actual numbers are sometimes debatable because it's common belief that male subs are over-represented on the internet but I also believe they are under-represented at BDSM functions. However, the order of the levels in the pyramid are never really questioned.
In my estimation (taken from both the internet and BDSM functions), the percentages are probably something like:
Female Dominant: ~2%
Male Dominant: ~13%
female submissive: ~32%
male submissive: ~53%
This means there is an approximately 2.5:1 femsub to Maledom ratio, but more than a 26:1 malesub to Femdom ratio.
The inequality leads to a special type of supply and demand interaction known as scarce resources. No matter how limited the supply, demand tends to remain the same. The end result is inflated prices and excess demand.
Basically, Femdom Nation is OPEC and male subs are the automobile driving public. No matter how "expensive" domination is, male subs will pay it, and regardless of the price, most male subs will be left out in the cold without it. Unless there's a drastic societal change, this situation won't change any time soon as there's no electric car equivalent to femdom.
Conclusion
Since the number of male subs so drastically out populate the number of Femdoms, Female Dominants have every advantage in both courting situations and D/s relationships.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Femdom as an Economic Theory - Introduction
So... I was surprisingly motivated to write tonight (mostly stemming from my first stint of real commenting earlier this week on Lady Grey's blog) and I decided to theorize about a few things that really explain a lot of the inequities of the D/s lifestyle (beyond the lifestyle itself).
Femdom relationships, most noticeably the courting process and raw numbers can almost all be explained through economic theory. I'm not sure if this is really useful to anyone, but it should hopefully shed some light on things especially for subs seeking Dommes and for Dommes seeking subs and weeding through the applicants.
My apologies in advance if these posts get a bit garbled and they may require previous writings to adequately describe the situation. I will try to provide back links in those cases.
Feedback is always welcomed.
Femdom relationships, most noticeably the courting process and raw numbers can almost all be explained through economic theory. I'm not sure if this is really useful to anyone, but it should hopefully shed some light on things especially for subs seeking Dommes and for Dommes seeking subs and weeding through the applicants.
My apologies in advance if these posts get a bit garbled and they may require previous writings to adequately describe the situation. I will try to provide back links in those cases.
Feedback is always welcomed.
Halloween
So... Halloween is coming up again. This time is always strange to me when it comes to forced feminization because it's a time when things open up a bit.
Sissies have the freedom to shop for pretty much anything and simply cite that it's for a Halloween costume. Similarly they can dress how they want without having severe social repercussions if they are "going to a Halloween party."
Due to this, I've often seen many sissy assignments be ordered to perform "at a time other than around Halloween."
I guess I'm curious if those who still struggle being outed would feel more comfortable being on display around this time of year than any other.
Sissies have the freedom to shop for pretty much anything and simply cite that it's for a Halloween costume. Similarly they can dress how they want without having severe social repercussions if they are "going to a Halloween party."
Due to this, I've often seen many sissy assignments be ordered to perform "at a time other than around Halloween."
I guess I'm curious if those who still struggle being outed would feel more comfortable being on display around this time of year than any other.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Sissy chic
Chic (as well as the often-misused couture) is a common buzz word every few years to describe a new fashion trend or fad that by the time it receives it's label, is probably over-used and reaches a point of poor taste.
Whether it's hippie chic, sassy chic, shabby chic, etc. or whatever, what about sissy chic or sissy couture?
While there's many different flavors of sissies: TG, TV, CD, submissive, fetishist, etc. it seems the trends in sissy fetish clothing tends to remain pretty much the same year after year (with the exception of transgenders that have truly become passable as women).
Silk or satin panties tend to be the norm, but which style is the most "in style" for sissies? Thongs? Bikinis? Briefs? Is there any consensus? Is there indifference as long as they're panties? Panties don't really do it for me but if I had to go with humiliation factor as a deciding mechanism I'd have to vote for ruffle-butt. I could just be biased that this was the first style that my first Mistress ever used upon me.
With socks there's often a general consensus for lacy ankle socks if it's not stockings or leggings.
Skirts and dresses are generally favored over pants. If they have legs at all it's usually something like hot pants.
I guess I'm curious if others have any thoughts on this.
Whether it's hippie chic, sassy chic, shabby chic, etc. or whatever, what about sissy chic or sissy couture?
While there's many different flavors of sissies: TG, TV, CD, submissive, fetishist, etc. it seems the trends in sissy fetish clothing tends to remain pretty much the same year after year (with the exception of transgenders that have truly become passable as women).
Silk or satin panties tend to be the norm, but which style is the most "in style" for sissies? Thongs? Bikinis? Briefs? Is there any consensus? Is there indifference as long as they're panties? Panties don't really do it for me but if I had to go with humiliation factor as a deciding mechanism I'd have to vote for ruffle-butt. I could just be biased that this was the first style that my first Mistress ever used upon me.
With socks there's often a general consensus for lacy ankle socks if it's not stockings or leggings.
Skirts and dresses are generally favored over pants. If they have legs at all it's usually something like hot pants.
I guess I'm curious if others have any thoughts on this.
Things I just don't understand by being male
Last year I made a post about not quite understanding what defines "cute."
This post is of a similar nature.
While doing a few recent drawings it has become abundantly clear to me a few things I just don't understand very well about women's fashion. I'm very observant when it comes to fit, cut, and lines as well as color contrasting. My talents (at least that's what I've been told by several women) include matching styles to moods and impressions you want to give, how to accent curves, etc.
There are three things that really come to mind that I definitely don't understand.
Make-up. Accessorizing with jewelry/bling. Judging prints and patterns on fabric.
Make-up is an odd one. I know why women use make-up and I can tell when it is done well and when it's done poorly. I can understand what is too much, and when certain types of "too much" can be very style-defining. What I don't understand is the theory behind make-up (aside from eye-liner). I don't know what shade of lipstick is "supposed" to be used with a given ensemble or look. I don't understand the appropriate ways of using blush and eye shadow. I'm sure there's writings about them somewhere, I just haven't taken the time to read them.
Accessorizing is a different story. When I was in college or high school and sat in one place for a long period of time I could always notice certain types of bracelets, rings, earrings, belts, etc. that were particularly flattering, style-defining, or just plain cool. In terms of first glances, most accessories don't strike me unless they're done in very poor taste. This makes me wonder why women emphasize jewelry and accessories so much. I know that other women tend to notice these almost immediately, but most men do not. I have even been given credit for noticing them after 30 minutes of boredom and wandering eyes. So are accessories mainly for women to impress other women (or to show off money)? Is that all?
My lack of understanding on the subject and the disproportionate amount of time it takes to draw an intricate ring, necklace, or belt buckle probably explain why they are usually absent from my drawings.
Prints and patterns are a nightmare to draw in my drawing program. When shopping with women I rarely am drawn to items with fancy prints and patterns and I'm usually taken by surprise when someone picks out some print and goes "I just LOVE this!" I'm usually a bit puzzled and thinking, "why?" I guess I tend to stay away from things that appear "noisy" or "distracting" from the female form, but most women I know are often drawn to particular styles of prints.
I know I'm probably not the only male that doesn't understand these things, but it seems almost second nature when women do understand these things.
This post is of a similar nature.
While doing a few recent drawings it has become abundantly clear to me a few things I just don't understand very well about women's fashion. I'm very observant when it comes to fit, cut, and lines as well as color contrasting. My talents (at least that's what I've been told by several women) include matching styles to moods and impressions you want to give, how to accent curves, etc.
There are three things that really come to mind that I definitely don't understand.
Make-up. Accessorizing with jewelry/bling. Judging prints and patterns on fabric.
Make-up is an odd one. I know why women use make-up and I can tell when it is done well and when it's done poorly. I can understand what is too much, and when certain types of "too much" can be very style-defining. What I don't understand is the theory behind make-up (aside from eye-liner). I don't know what shade of lipstick is "supposed" to be used with a given ensemble or look. I don't understand the appropriate ways of using blush and eye shadow. I'm sure there's writings about them somewhere, I just haven't taken the time to read them.
Accessorizing is a different story. When I was in college or high school and sat in one place for a long period of time I could always notice certain types of bracelets, rings, earrings, belts, etc. that were particularly flattering, style-defining, or just plain cool. In terms of first glances, most accessories don't strike me unless they're done in very poor taste. This makes me wonder why women emphasize jewelry and accessories so much. I know that other women tend to notice these almost immediately, but most men do not. I have even been given credit for noticing them after 30 minutes of boredom and wandering eyes. So are accessories mainly for women to impress other women (or to show off money)? Is that all?
My lack of understanding on the subject and the disproportionate amount of time it takes to draw an intricate ring, necklace, or belt buckle probably explain why they are usually absent from my drawings.
Prints and patterns are a nightmare to draw in my drawing program. When shopping with women I rarely am drawn to items with fancy prints and patterns and I'm usually taken by surprise when someone picks out some print and goes "I just LOVE this!" I'm usually a bit puzzled and thinking, "why?" I guess I tend to stay away from things that appear "noisy" or "distracting" from the female form, but most women I know are often drawn to particular styles of prints.
I know I'm probably not the only male that doesn't understand these things, but it seems almost second nature when women do understand these things.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
What to do next?
I'm kind of surprised at some of the votes in my good/bad/weird options considering I don't receive a lot of comments to feed off of. It's not so much surprise, I'm just having trouble getting a firm grasp on what people like (or don't like) seeing.
What I have been able to put together:
-People have little interest in my "portrait" style drawings, where it's just a woman unless it's on the risque side of things and/or keys into a specific fetish (e.g. really big fur).
-BDSM/Ds scenes must involve an active interplay between the Domme and sub, with the exception of lesbian scenes where the sub is in the background.
-Humiliation and degradation are most popular.
-(Almost) no one really cares about any of my fashion-oriented postings.
-There isn't a lot of interest in my more cerebral postings.
I'm not really the type to cater completely towards people want (unless it's in common with what I also like/want), but I guess I just haven't figured out how to draw readers and spur a lot of conversation on what I do write and draw. I'm open to suggestions.
What I have been able to put together:
-People have little interest in my "portrait" style drawings, where it's just a woman unless it's on the risque side of things and/or keys into a specific fetish (e.g. really big fur).
-BDSM/Ds scenes must involve an active interplay between the Domme and sub, with the exception of lesbian scenes where the sub is in the background.
-Humiliation and degradation are most popular.
-(Almost) no one really cares about any of my fashion-oriented postings.
-There isn't a lot of interest in my more cerebral postings.
I'm not really the type to cater completely towards people want (unless it's in common with what I also like/want), but I guess I just haven't figured out how to draw readers and spur a lot of conversation on what I do write and draw. I'm open to suggestions.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
A request from mittens
Mittens from the blog Wrapped up sent me a request.
Doing this drawing made me realize just how far I have to go, especially when it comes to drawing objects when I don't have a good model to work from. I tried to crop this one fairly small in order to hide my embarrassingly bad semi-attempt at 3-point perspective.
I have included both the color scheme he requested as well as one that's a bit more sissy.
Doing this drawing made me realize just how far I have to go, especially when it comes to drawing objects when I don't have a good model to work from. I tried to crop this one fairly small in order to hide my embarrassingly bad semi-attempt at 3-point perspective.
I have included both the color scheme he requested as well as one that's a bit more sissy.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Sissy for sale
So... I thought this one would have been finished and posted a few days ago but I just wasn't content with how it turned out. After several iterations (including alternate characters) I'm still not really content with how it turned out but here goes.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
"Virtual Mistresses," Fetish Fiction, and the need for outcomes beyond our control
The waters have been rough in my relationship lately and I've been feeling single even though I'm not. In doing some reflection it reminded me to points in my life where I was single and between D/s relationships.
When single, lonely, horny, and needing a more interactive fantasy I dig up a few sites dealing with the idea of a "virtual" Mistress. These and the ideas of them always seemed to do more for my submissive side than porn and most stories, etc.
An example would be something like My Key Safe , which is a programmable chastity key safe that can be linked up to the internet and controlled by a virtual Domme, called "Strict Mistress." You choose your experience level and are supposed to lock on a chastity device and lock the key in the safe. The terms of the chastity period are determined by the experience level you selected. During the period you can ask for permission to be unlocked with one of three desperation levels (I'm not sure how these affect the likeliness of it actually being unlocked). The frequency with which you ask also affects the likeliness of being unlocked (asking too often makes an unlock more difficult to obtain, asking very infrequently makes it easier to unlock).
The system uses a random number generator and stores the "odds" of succeeding based upon what you have done over the desired period.
If you selected "experienced" in your experience level (level 3 out of 5 levels), your maximum lock up duration is 30 days. You can ask for permission for release once a day without being automatically penalized (although it might have been once every 3 days). Waiting more than 7 days between asking permission improves your odds. Depending upon her "mood," you will get one of the following outcomes:
A) Unlocking the safe.
B) Unwilling to unlock but your odds will be better the next time you ask.
C) Unwilling to unlock but your odds will be worse the next time you ask.
D) Unwilling to unlock but your odds will be much worse the next time you ask.
Asking too frequently ensures the outcome will be either C or D. To build the fantasy aspect of it there's a picture of a Domme dressed in leather giving a facial expression symbolic of her mood and response.
You are guaranteed release after 30 days have passed no matter what. Upon release you are supposed to jerk off once, lock yourself back up, and restart the period (although you are allowed to change durations at this time).
This is by far the most elaborate virtual Mistress I've come across. There is a now defunct Forced Feminization site on geocities that used to have a "what to wear" program where the user would run a program and randomly generate a list of items that would include both male and female items (you could alter the probability to skew towards one side or the other). I've come across other sites that have had "pick a card" type of options that would "randomly" give you a humiliation assignment (random as long as you didn't pick the same card twice).
One other site (that I can't seem to find) that comes to mind was a virtual discipline site that had a couple of fictitious Dommes named Mistress Pinar and Mistress Auria (one was nicer than the other). You would select your infraction from a list as well as how frequently this infraction had occurred and it would generate a punishment (also mood based) for said infraction. e.g. for repeated masturbation you might "receive" 50 swats with a paddle on the bare ass and have to sleep with your hands tied behind your back for 30 days. It would also add a nice little kicker of "maybe rubbing a sore buttocks will keep the sub's hands out of trouble." If anyone could find this site and provide a link it would be much appreciated.
Another past time of the lonely fantasizer is reading fetish fiction. I'm sure almost everyone is familiar with this so I don't really have much to say on this topic except its weaknesses are that you are at the mercy of someone else's personal fetishes and they rarely have re-read value (once you've shot your load it's done and gone) and these can often open doors to new arousing experiences you had never imagined. e.g. Reading Giles English's novel, The Chastity Belt was able to deliver this fantasy to me in such a manner that I became interested in chastity.
What fetish fiction and virtual domination have in common is what interests me. They remove control of the fantasy and the outcome is uncertain. This is a very strong draw to some and I think it explains a lot of why men (at least fantasize about) crave a cruel woman: the fear of something very unpleasant is equally, if not more arousing than something you really enjoy.
The more unfair it is, the more real the fear of a bad outcome, the more arousing it seems to be.
I think I spent more time masturbating to virtual domination and interesting fetish fiction than I ever did to visual images/videos. When I could modify the odds in the random games, I found it far more arousing to fantasize when stacking the odds against me. Fantasizing about a perfect and ideal situation where everything happens exactly as you want it to gets boring rather quickly. Not knowing what will happen and expecting the worst never really loses its excitement.
I'm not sure if it's only males that feel this way (or if I'm a total odd ball), but I find the fact that I feel this way to be rather fascinating.
I think that's also how some of my other fetishes became so ingrained. At first I just wanted to be with a fur-clad Goddess who would tie me up and rub fur on my nipples and cock. That did happen, but once she ordered me to wear fur (when I refused I got my ass beaten and still ended up wearing it) and it was something I didn't want to do it seemed to open up a whole new level of subspace.
When single, lonely, horny, and needing a more interactive fantasy I dig up a few sites dealing with the idea of a "virtual" Mistress. These and the ideas of them always seemed to do more for my submissive side than porn and most stories, etc.
An example would be something like My Key Safe , which is a programmable chastity key safe that can be linked up to the internet and controlled by a virtual Domme, called "Strict Mistress." You choose your experience level and are supposed to lock on a chastity device and lock the key in the safe. The terms of the chastity period are determined by the experience level you selected. During the period you can ask for permission to be unlocked with one of three desperation levels (I'm not sure how these affect the likeliness of it actually being unlocked). The frequency with which you ask also affects the likeliness of being unlocked (asking too often makes an unlock more difficult to obtain, asking very infrequently makes it easier to unlock).
The system uses a random number generator and stores the "odds" of succeeding based upon what you have done over the desired period.
If you selected "experienced" in your experience level (level 3 out of 5 levels), your maximum lock up duration is 30 days. You can ask for permission for release once a day without being automatically penalized (although it might have been once every 3 days). Waiting more than 7 days between asking permission improves your odds. Depending upon her "mood," you will get one of the following outcomes:
A) Unlocking the safe.
B) Unwilling to unlock but your odds will be better the next time you ask.
C) Unwilling to unlock but your odds will be worse the next time you ask.
D) Unwilling to unlock but your odds will be much worse the next time you ask.
Asking too frequently ensures the outcome will be either C or D. To build the fantasy aspect of it there's a picture of a Domme dressed in leather giving a facial expression symbolic of her mood and response.
You are guaranteed release after 30 days have passed no matter what. Upon release you are supposed to jerk off once, lock yourself back up, and restart the period (although you are allowed to change durations at this time).
This is by far the most elaborate virtual Mistress I've come across. There is a now defunct Forced Feminization site on geocities that used to have a "what to wear" program where the user would run a program and randomly generate a list of items that would include both male and female items (you could alter the probability to skew towards one side or the other). I've come across other sites that have had "pick a card" type of options that would "randomly" give you a humiliation assignment (random as long as you didn't pick the same card twice).
One other site (that I can't seem to find) that comes to mind was a virtual discipline site that had a couple of fictitious Dommes named Mistress Pinar and Mistress Auria (one was nicer than the other). You would select your infraction from a list as well as how frequently this infraction had occurred and it would generate a punishment (also mood based) for said infraction. e.g. for repeated masturbation you might "receive" 50 swats with a paddle on the bare ass and have to sleep with your hands tied behind your back for 30 days. It would also add a nice little kicker of "maybe rubbing a sore buttocks will keep the sub's hands out of trouble." If anyone could find this site and provide a link it would be much appreciated.
Another past time of the lonely fantasizer is reading fetish fiction. I'm sure almost everyone is familiar with this so I don't really have much to say on this topic except its weaknesses are that you are at the mercy of someone else's personal fetishes and they rarely have re-read value (once you've shot your load it's done and gone) and these can often open doors to new arousing experiences you had never imagined. e.g. Reading Giles English's novel, The Chastity Belt was able to deliver this fantasy to me in such a manner that I became interested in chastity.
What fetish fiction and virtual domination have in common is what interests me. They remove control of the fantasy and the outcome is uncertain. This is a very strong draw to some and I think it explains a lot of why men (at least fantasize about) crave a cruel woman: the fear of something very unpleasant is equally, if not more arousing than something you really enjoy.
The more unfair it is, the more real the fear of a bad outcome, the more arousing it seems to be.
I think I spent more time masturbating to virtual domination and interesting fetish fiction than I ever did to visual images/videos. When I could modify the odds in the random games, I found it far more arousing to fantasize when stacking the odds against me. Fantasizing about a perfect and ideal situation where everything happens exactly as you want it to gets boring rather quickly. Not knowing what will happen and expecting the worst never really loses its excitement.
I'm not sure if it's only males that feel this way (or if I'm a total odd ball), but I find the fact that I feel this way to be rather fascinating.
I think that's also how some of my other fetishes became so ingrained. At first I just wanted to be with a fur-clad Goddess who would tie me up and rub fur on my nipples and cock. That did happen, but once she ordered me to wear fur (when I refused I got my ass beaten and still ended up wearing it) and it was something I didn't want to do it seemed to open up a whole new level of subspace.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Another unfinished...
This woman was supposed to be part of a scene where she was sitting on a sub's back with him on all fours. Unfortunately I just couldn't get it to look right so I scrapped it. This one was from ~8 months ago and I can see areas where I have changed my approach to drawing.
The dancer that missed the cut...
I almost drew another 3-4 characters to put in the dance club drawing. I only finished one other but decided she didn't really fit well.
Here she is though.
Here she is though.
Another one completed that I had started months ago
I had tried to do this one months ago... but I couldn't get it to turn out right. Luckily I've improved since then and this time it was rather effortless to finish it up and I'm fairly happy with how it turned out.
Sissy from the dance club drawing
I still get relatively little feedback overall so I'm not quite sure what things float people's boat more than others aside from the good/bad/weird votes that drawings get.
On the Cheerleader and Dance Club drawings I can post single pictures of any of the characters if people are interested in having those individually.
On the Cheerleader and Dance Club drawings I can post single pictures of any of the characters if people are interested in having those individually.
Digging up old unfinished drawings
I was doing some digging through my files and I realized that during my several month break from drawing/blogging that I had a ton of unfinished things I was working on.
These were some drawings of items I was working on for the fake catalogs.
They still work as a contrast of sissy vs. sexy. I will try to finish up some of the works I left undone.
These were some drawings of items I was working on for the fake catalogs.
They still work as a contrast of sissy vs. sexy. I will try to finish up some of the works I left undone.
Modular boot trim
Last year I made a post on Defunct sissy Apparel - Boot Loot: modular boot accessories.
It seems there's a company out there doing something similar both with boot cuffs and collars for coats.
They can be found at: http://www.iconcouture.net
Nothing with real fur as of now but at least someone is still working with this idea.
It seems there's a company out there doing something similar both with boot cuffs and collars for coats.
They can be found at: http://www.iconcouture.net
Nothing with real fur as of now but at least someone is still working with this idea.
Newest drawing
Well...
I had an idea for a drawing and drew the sissy first and the woman second. As it turns out, the woman turned out quite well and the sissy was rather weak in comparison. The basic idea was that the sissy did something to get in trouble and got caned and stuck in the corner while the Domme masturbated instead of having him lick her.
I decided to post both the entire scene and then just the woman. On a side note, this was my first attempt at drawing female genitalia.
I had an idea for a drawing and drew the sissy first and the woman second. As it turns out, the woman turned out quite well and the sissy was rather weak in comparison. The basic idea was that the sissy did something to get in trouble and got caned and stuck in the corner while the Domme masturbated instead of having him lick her.
I decided to post both the entire scene and then just the woman. On a side note, this was my first attempt at drawing female genitalia.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Latest requested drawing
I received a request for this one via email after a chat on messenger. I hope you all enjoy it.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
The Venus Ball Trap
Last year I wrote about The Venus Ball Trap as a dream bondage device. I tried to do a picture of it in action... and the Domme turned out great. The sub... not so much. I guess this shows how dependent upon having a model in the right pose is for me... the arms and upper body just didn't turn out right.
File this under "it's the thought that counts."
File this under "it's the thought that counts."
Saturday, August 27, 2011
So...
I've been doing some posting again finally (of things other than drawings).
I know there's a lot of other bloggers out there where I used to read and leave comments and it's been months since I really kept up and engaged in discussions. I will try and start doing that again but I'm not sure when just yet. I just haven't felt up to it still but hopefully soon.
I know there's a lot of other bloggers out there where I used to read and leave comments and it's been months since I really kept up and engaged in discussions. I will try and start doing that again but I'm not sure when just yet. I just haven't felt up to it still but hopefully soon.
Large group drawing
Well, this is the multi-character one I had mentioned in an earlier post.
I did ones both with and without captions.
I did ones both with and without captions.
Frustration/Desperation drawing
I meant to post this one last night but didn't get around to doing the finishing touches on it.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Dominating the loser vs. Conquering the winner
It's well-documented that one of the great male flaws (possibly due to biological programming) is a common male-tendency to "the chase" part of the relationship and then the hunter loses interest and falls into lazy bad habits after winning over the woman he sought.
While I understand that during the courting process everyone wants to show up with their "A game" and wow the other with a glimpse of their dream guy/girl, it got me thinking about a few different scenarios and I'm sort of curious as how the dominant mind works in this regards. I have this nagging feeling that Dommes are a bit more rational when it comes to courting and living with their desired mate.
A couple of scenarios that often pop up in Femdom fiction and fantasy (and that somewhat mirror the possibilities vanilla men have when dating) are:
1. Dominating the submissive loser.
2. Breaking the "winner" and making him submit.
For the intents and purposes of this discussion I will look at these situations under the assumptions that the woman intends to dominate her partner without being forthcoming about it and the male entered into this situation under vanilla pretenses with no BDSM undertones.
The first situation is a bit easier to analyze. "Alpha" female finds shy, semi-reclusive male with limited personality and a weak backbone and quickly wins him over, only to gradually escalate her power over him until he's a blubbering coward, emasculated at every turn and unable to stand up to her. She stays in this because it is easy, she can be is as selfish as she wants to be, and she knows he will remain faithful no matter what.
The second situation is a very common theme for aggressive "chaser" men that see women as a conquest, the harder she is to get, the more he wants her. How would this relate to this premise? Strong, intelligent woman finds a confident and self-assured male that she wants to take down a peg. She's possibly attracted to him physically but finds his personality in strong need of modification. She seduces him, traps him, and through some means (probably blackmail) he finds himself unable to leave and at her mercy. He is her trophy.
While both of these situations might be good masturbation fodder and easy foundations to build a story upon, they just don't sit quite right with me. With the Dommes I've known over the years, here's my thoughts on them.
The loser male doesn't hold a lot of appeal. If he doesn't offer anything meaningful to the relationship and isn't truly submissive out of love, she probably won't want to be with him for a long period of time. A man that lacks personality, generally isn't very interesting. He's not really worth "knocking him down a peg" because he really doesn't have anywhere lower he can go. There's no emotional charge in subduing him nor is he someone to be proud of subduing. I just don't see this as the most realistic outcome.
If he is intelligent and kind, thoughtful and courteous, loving, and submissive, is he really a loser? I don't think most Dommes would consider him to be one at that point, and thus he breaks the stereotype set out by the first scenario.
On a side note, I'm sure there are Dommes out there that have taken this approach and have been completely happy with it. I'm not bad-mouthing the idea of it, I'm mainly just criticizing the male fantasy ideal of that situation. Out of the two scenarios, I do think this is the more realistic one since men of this nature are generally willing to change themselves and most Dommes who want quality service would rather dominate someone who is naturally submissive rather than naturally dominant.
The winner male situation may hold some allure, but it's probably an awful lot of work to pull it off. If she's able to find him so despicable as a human being that this is her motivation for doing so, I doubt she would choose him as a life partner. That isn't to say that a long-time Domme wouldn't love the chance to do this, but I have the feeling that a male sub of this nature would probably be difficult to train.
So what is more realistic?
I think the sub that would attract the most Dommes probably falls somewhere in between but leaning more towards the loser (without actually being a loser). A man who will let her lead from the get go, but is also able to enrich her life and provide interesting interactions outside of the dungeon or bedroom. He doesn't have to be hunted/chased, but he also doesn't bend over for anyone/everyone. Basically, he's a well-rounded human being with a submissive nature.
I could be way off base on this, but I'm curious overall what people think of this.
While I understand that during the courting process everyone wants to show up with their "A game" and wow the other with a glimpse of their dream guy/girl, it got me thinking about a few different scenarios and I'm sort of curious as how the dominant mind works in this regards. I have this nagging feeling that Dommes are a bit more rational when it comes to courting and living with their desired mate.
A couple of scenarios that often pop up in Femdom fiction and fantasy (and that somewhat mirror the possibilities vanilla men have when dating) are:
1. Dominating the submissive loser.
2. Breaking the "winner" and making him submit.
For the intents and purposes of this discussion I will look at these situations under the assumptions that the woman intends to dominate her partner without being forthcoming about it and the male entered into this situation under vanilla pretenses with no BDSM undertones.
The first situation is a bit easier to analyze. "Alpha" female finds shy, semi-reclusive male with limited personality and a weak backbone and quickly wins him over, only to gradually escalate her power over him until he's a blubbering coward, emasculated at every turn and unable to stand up to her. She stays in this because it is easy, she can be is as selfish as she wants to be, and she knows he will remain faithful no matter what.
The second situation is a very common theme for aggressive "chaser" men that see women as a conquest, the harder she is to get, the more he wants her. How would this relate to this premise? Strong, intelligent woman finds a confident and self-assured male that she wants to take down a peg. She's possibly attracted to him physically but finds his personality in strong need of modification. She seduces him, traps him, and through some means (probably blackmail) he finds himself unable to leave and at her mercy. He is her trophy.
While both of these situations might be good masturbation fodder and easy foundations to build a story upon, they just don't sit quite right with me. With the Dommes I've known over the years, here's my thoughts on them.
The loser male doesn't hold a lot of appeal. If he doesn't offer anything meaningful to the relationship and isn't truly submissive out of love, she probably won't want to be with him for a long period of time. A man that lacks personality, generally isn't very interesting. He's not really worth "knocking him down a peg" because he really doesn't have anywhere lower he can go. There's no emotional charge in subduing him nor is he someone to be proud of subduing. I just don't see this as the most realistic outcome.
If he is intelligent and kind, thoughtful and courteous, loving, and submissive, is he really a loser? I don't think most Dommes would consider him to be one at that point, and thus he breaks the stereotype set out by the first scenario.
On a side note, I'm sure there are Dommes out there that have taken this approach and have been completely happy with it. I'm not bad-mouthing the idea of it, I'm mainly just criticizing the male fantasy ideal of that situation. Out of the two scenarios, I do think this is the more realistic one since men of this nature are generally willing to change themselves and most Dommes who want quality service would rather dominate someone who is naturally submissive rather than naturally dominant.
The winner male situation may hold some allure, but it's probably an awful lot of work to pull it off. If she's able to find him so despicable as a human being that this is her motivation for doing so, I doubt she would choose him as a life partner. That isn't to say that a long-time Domme wouldn't love the chance to do this, but I have the feeling that a male sub of this nature would probably be difficult to train.
So what is more realistic?
I think the sub that would attract the most Dommes probably falls somewhere in between but leaning more towards the loser (without actually being a loser). A man who will let her lead from the get go, but is also able to enrich her life and provide interesting interactions outside of the dungeon or bedroom. He doesn't have to be hunted/chased, but he also doesn't bend over for anyone/everyone. Basically, he's a well-rounded human being with a submissive nature.
I could be way off base on this, but I'm curious overall what people think of this.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Exploring Fantasy: The Girly Girl Domme, the Power Domme, and The Lipstick Lesbian
A current drawing I am working on got me thinking a little bit about things lately, especially in terms of what things have turned me on while working on them.
The Cheerleader drawing brought forth something I haven't done much of in drawings, that being the "Girly Girl" in a dominant role. I don't have anything against this fantasy, but I guess it's something that just doesn't come to mind automatically for me. I will admit, the idea does give me a hard-on. From my experiences this fantasy is very common for sissies. Dreaming about the "popular girl with her friends" type of dominant: she's a bit spoiled, a bit selfish, cute, bubbly, playful and probably with a nasty wicked streak. I can understand the allure here as those characteristics often lead to mild dominance even in vanilla settings. I do think these types of fantasies tend to revolve more around humiliation (and possibly blackmail) fantasies and less about pure D/s types of fantasies. e.g. the sorority girl tricks the loser guy into being her slave, forcing him to wear panties and give her oral sex. While this does arouse me, I think I'm a little too seasoned within the lifestyle to really see this as something realistic.
In contrast, I think I tend to over-represent the Power Domme in my drawings. She's cool, capable, confident, and demanding. If she works, she's successful. If she doesn't work, she rules with an iron fist. She dresses sleek and a sophisticated sexy and dominance is just a way of life. This too wreaks of idealized fantasy.
I think it's easier to polarize in fantasy and drawings than to try and capture a realistic Domme. The woman that's a little bit girly and a little bit cool. One that carries girly feminine charms along with a serious mean streak. I think most women fall comfortably in between the girly girl and power Domme. They don't need our approval, it's the subs that need their approval. While my visual stimulation might be peaked by unrealistic fantasy idealizations, my mental stimulation definitely flows with my last statement. You accept her as she is but she only accepts you as what she wants you to be. I think that thought arouses me to my core.
Moving on a bit...
Every time I do a lesbian drawing I feel a bit like a jackass. I've had quite a few lesbian friends over the years and I do have to say that my masturbation fantasy lesbians aren't really anything like actual lesbians. I know this, but I'm still drawn to this ideal. If you aren't familiar with the lesbian lifestyle, you might not be aware that most lesbian relationships involve something resembling gender roles. You have the butch (masculine lesbian) and the femme (feminine lesbian). While many lesbians aren't overtly one or the other, if you happen to befriend them it shouldn't take too long to figure out if they're the pitcher or catcher.
It's hard to make any generalizations about lesbians since you'll find as many variations as there are stars in the sky, but I'm about to make a couple of them. Femme lesbians tend to be slightly less feminine than most straight women and butch lesbians tend to be significantly less feminine than most straight women (one of my lesbian friends once told me the joke: Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? A: single). You can read this as my admission that any lesbian-esque portrayals I might draw are more likely bisexual women at best as they're way too feminine to be realistic. Most lesbian couples I have met tend to be much more emotionally and personality balanced than most gay male or straight couples. That is, while the femme isn't necessarily submissive, she's rarely dominant unless that's her natural personality (and a dominant femme often matches up better with a dominant butch). While there might be more butches that are a bit more dominant, I tend to think of them more as tops than dominants, and in any case, it would be a rare case for a butch to involve a male in any type of activity that might be deemed even the slightest bit sexual. With more masculine and aggressive butches, it's probably more likely that they would kick the shit out of a sissy for being an insult to women than force them into any type of submission.
So... I guess I'm wondering that even though I know how the world works and some of the people in it, why my fantasies still delve so far into the realm of imaginary beings.
The Cheerleader drawing brought forth something I haven't done much of in drawings, that being the "Girly Girl" in a dominant role. I don't have anything against this fantasy, but I guess it's something that just doesn't come to mind automatically for me. I will admit, the idea does give me a hard-on. From my experiences this fantasy is very common for sissies. Dreaming about the "popular girl with her friends" type of dominant: she's a bit spoiled, a bit selfish, cute, bubbly, playful and probably with a nasty wicked streak. I can understand the allure here as those characteristics often lead to mild dominance even in vanilla settings. I do think these types of fantasies tend to revolve more around humiliation (and possibly blackmail) fantasies and less about pure D/s types of fantasies. e.g. the sorority girl tricks the loser guy into being her slave, forcing him to wear panties and give her oral sex. While this does arouse me, I think I'm a little too seasoned within the lifestyle to really see this as something realistic.
In contrast, I think I tend to over-represent the Power Domme in my drawings. She's cool, capable, confident, and demanding. If she works, she's successful. If she doesn't work, she rules with an iron fist. She dresses sleek and a sophisticated sexy and dominance is just a way of life. This too wreaks of idealized fantasy.
I think it's easier to polarize in fantasy and drawings than to try and capture a realistic Domme. The woman that's a little bit girly and a little bit cool. One that carries girly feminine charms along with a serious mean streak. I think most women fall comfortably in between the girly girl and power Domme. They don't need our approval, it's the subs that need their approval. While my visual stimulation might be peaked by unrealistic fantasy idealizations, my mental stimulation definitely flows with my last statement. You accept her as she is but she only accepts you as what she wants you to be. I think that thought arouses me to my core.
Moving on a bit...
Every time I do a lesbian drawing I feel a bit like a jackass. I've had quite a few lesbian friends over the years and I do have to say that my masturbation fantasy lesbians aren't really anything like actual lesbians. I know this, but I'm still drawn to this ideal. If you aren't familiar with the lesbian lifestyle, you might not be aware that most lesbian relationships involve something resembling gender roles. You have the butch (masculine lesbian) and the femme (feminine lesbian). While many lesbians aren't overtly one or the other, if you happen to befriend them it shouldn't take too long to figure out if they're the pitcher or catcher.
It's hard to make any generalizations about lesbians since you'll find as many variations as there are stars in the sky, but I'm about to make a couple of them. Femme lesbians tend to be slightly less feminine than most straight women and butch lesbians tend to be significantly less feminine than most straight women (one of my lesbian friends once told me the joke: Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? A: single). You can read this as my admission that any lesbian-esque portrayals I might draw are more likely bisexual women at best as they're way too feminine to be realistic. Most lesbian couples I have met tend to be much more emotionally and personality balanced than most gay male or straight couples. That is, while the femme isn't necessarily submissive, she's rarely dominant unless that's her natural personality (and a dominant femme often matches up better with a dominant butch). While there might be more butches that are a bit more dominant, I tend to think of them more as tops than dominants, and in any case, it would be a rare case for a butch to involve a male in any type of activity that might be deemed even the slightest bit sexual. With more masculine and aggressive butches, it's probably more likely that they would kick the shit out of a sissy for being an insult to women than force them into any type of submission.
So... I guess I'm wondering that even though I know how the world works and some of the people in it, why my fantasies still delve so far into the realm of imaginary beings.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Thank you everyone for the comments
I've been having a lot of people message me lately through the messenger on my blog. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that has chatted with me.
If anyone has any requests please feel free to let me know.
I thrive strongly on feedback, comments, and emails, so if you really like something and want me to post more things like it (whether it be written or drawn) please let me know.
If anyone has any requests please feel free to let me know.
I thrive strongly on feedback, comments, and emails, so if you really like something and want me to post more things like it (whether it be written or drawn) please let me know.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Coming to Terms with Kink (aka finding difficult answers to easy questions)
Well... here goes my first "real "entry in months. My apologies if this is a repeated topic (I know that I have written similar posts before) but I feel fairly removed from those... almost as if they were written by another me, which I guess says that I feel I have changed since I was last writing. Sorry if this is a bit jumbled, I jotted down some notes earlier and am trying to piece together this post from my thoughts earlier in the day.
The process of "this is what I am now" from "this is what I wanted then" is definitely an interesting one. I'm not sure I'm okay with who I am now as a submissive and sexually but at the same time, I'm not sure I mind that.
I know that for many in the lifestyle, one of the early obstacles is learning how to come to terms with and cope with the kink inside of you. Some of these aspects are rather easy, others are more difficult, especially depending upon which role you are in.
Some aspects of being a submissive are simple when it comes to interacting with women. Like bondage? No problem, most women I know think it's kinky and hot. Body worship? I don't know a woman that wouldn't/doesn't love it. Pegging? Just call it "reverse doggy style" and it sounds a lot less threatening. That last one may be a stretch though. The key to knowing how far you stray from "normalcy" is how much you NEED a particular activity. If being tied up gets you off but you get off nearly as hard without being tied up, you're in good shape. As long as you don't continuously ejaculate to a specific activity or fantasy you can probably avoid developing a deeply-rooted fetish that integrates that as a primary part of your sexuality.
If you're past that point, you're like me. This inherently puts you at the bottom of the food chain.
Dommes have it relatively easy when it comes to kink. Sexual exploration is usually encouraged (by both friends and lovers) and the sexually aggressive woman is generally very alluring and attractive. If she has something that "does it" for her, chances are there's about 500 guys out there an email away that want her to do it to them. As long as she can accept the kink about herself, there will be a vocal majority of kinksters encouraging that to the point where it seems very normal. If she ever reaches a point where she can only get off if the sub is tied up, there's no shortage of subs who are willing to be tied up every time.
Worst case scenario if she finds herself with a man who is unwilling to get kinky she can simply tell him that he sucked in bed, she faked every orgasm, and unless they spice it up a notch she won't be able to get off. 99% of guys will take that as a challenge to their male ego and give in to the kink.
Are we supposed to come to accept the kink within us?
The easy answer is yes and it probably seems stupid to even ask this. It's emotionally healthy to accept ourselves as we are. This goes for both Dommes and subs.
Why bother asking then? I am yee who is drawn to the flame... the dumbest of all creatures and lowest on the food chain... the submissive captured by the mind fuck.
Should self-acceptance always flow both ways in the realm of D/s?
In my opinion, being dominant is a natural and rational thing to be. Getting to do exactly what you want and getting someone else to do exactly what you want them to do seems like you struck it rich and your bottle of KY unleashed the magic sex genie willing to grant your any wish. That to me makes perfect sense.
Now for Dommes wishing to have a submissive lover that is an emotionally healthy equal, it is probably a good thing to nurture their self-acceptance of their kinks and get them to an emotionally balanced position. When they feel their kink is normal they will find peace.
But what about relationships that want a strict divide between Domme and sub? Are these so bad even if they're consensual? I'm sure there are those out there that would say that they are bad no matter what, but what about cases where both parties benefit?
A Domme can gain greater loyalty from her sub if he feels a bit insecure about his kinks.
-He's lucky to have her because other women will think he's fucked up.
-She's the only one that accepts him as he is.
-If anyone else knew about him they'd be disgusted.
These kinds of mental loops can serve as traps for a sub but they generally make him try harder if they start feeling true.
What if this insecurity serves as one of the sub's kinks? A sub that gets aroused from humiliation needs something to feel ashamed about. Keeping him off balance with teasing and cruelty can create its own subspace loop that feeds itself to her end. This can be nurtured: she tells him that she loves that he's ashamed of himself and loves him when he is that way. Or turned against him: she acts disgusted by his kinks but constantly reminds him that she tolerates him because he obeys.
It's a rather wicked balance. I seem to be caught somewhere in limbo. I am comfortable with being a submissive. I feel ashamed about being a sissy. This shame turns me on and makes me more submissive. Am I better off finding peace or better off being mind-fucked about it forever? If I had to choose I would probably have to go with the mind-fuck, but then again, I can fully admit that I am easy prey... at the bottom of the food chain (and I like it that way).
I guess in my own mind things make perfect sense like this:
She is, of course, perfectly normal. She likes to tie up subs and spank them, but that's normal. She gets off watching subs whimpering and writhing in pain but that's normal. She likes to dress subs up like girls because it amuses her, but that's normal. She likes to keep his penis caged in a chastity belt, but that's normal.
He likes being the one tied up and spanked? He's fucked up. He likes writhing in pain? He's fucked up. He wants her to control his orgasms? He's fucked up. He gets a hard on when she makes him dress up in slutty clothes and frilly furs? He's fucked up.
I don't know if I should come to terms with things but it really gives me a hard on feelings fucked up about myself.
The process of "this is what I am now" from "this is what I wanted then" is definitely an interesting one. I'm not sure I'm okay with who I am now as a submissive and sexually but at the same time, I'm not sure I mind that.
I know that for many in the lifestyle, one of the early obstacles is learning how to come to terms with and cope with the kink inside of you. Some of these aspects are rather easy, others are more difficult, especially depending upon which role you are in.
Some aspects of being a submissive are simple when it comes to interacting with women. Like bondage? No problem, most women I know think it's kinky and hot. Body worship? I don't know a woman that wouldn't/doesn't love it. Pegging? Just call it "reverse doggy style" and it sounds a lot less threatening. That last one may be a stretch though. The key to knowing how far you stray from "normalcy" is how much you NEED a particular activity. If being tied up gets you off but you get off nearly as hard without being tied up, you're in good shape. As long as you don't continuously ejaculate to a specific activity or fantasy you can probably avoid developing a deeply-rooted fetish that integrates that as a primary part of your sexuality.
If you're past that point, you're like me. This inherently puts you at the bottom of the food chain.
Dommes have it relatively easy when it comes to kink. Sexual exploration is usually encouraged (by both friends and lovers) and the sexually aggressive woman is generally very alluring and attractive. If she has something that "does it" for her, chances are there's about 500 guys out there an email away that want her to do it to them. As long as she can accept the kink about herself, there will be a vocal majority of kinksters encouraging that to the point where it seems very normal. If she ever reaches a point where she can only get off if the sub is tied up, there's no shortage of subs who are willing to be tied up every time.
Worst case scenario if she finds herself with a man who is unwilling to get kinky she can simply tell him that he sucked in bed, she faked every orgasm, and unless they spice it up a notch she won't be able to get off. 99% of guys will take that as a challenge to their male ego and give in to the kink.
Are we supposed to come to accept the kink within us?
The easy answer is yes and it probably seems stupid to even ask this. It's emotionally healthy to accept ourselves as we are. This goes for both Dommes and subs.
Why bother asking then? I am yee who is drawn to the flame... the dumbest of all creatures and lowest on the food chain... the submissive captured by the mind fuck.
Should self-acceptance always flow both ways in the realm of D/s?
In my opinion, being dominant is a natural and rational thing to be. Getting to do exactly what you want and getting someone else to do exactly what you want them to do seems like you struck it rich and your bottle of KY unleashed the magic sex genie willing to grant your any wish. That to me makes perfect sense.
Now for Dommes wishing to have a submissive lover that is an emotionally healthy equal, it is probably a good thing to nurture their self-acceptance of their kinks and get them to an emotionally balanced position. When they feel their kink is normal they will find peace.
But what about relationships that want a strict divide between Domme and sub? Are these so bad even if they're consensual? I'm sure there are those out there that would say that they are bad no matter what, but what about cases where both parties benefit?
A Domme can gain greater loyalty from her sub if he feels a bit insecure about his kinks.
-He's lucky to have her because other women will think he's fucked up.
-She's the only one that accepts him as he is.
-If anyone else knew about him they'd be disgusted.
These kinds of mental loops can serve as traps for a sub but they generally make him try harder if they start feeling true.
What if this insecurity serves as one of the sub's kinks? A sub that gets aroused from humiliation needs something to feel ashamed about. Keeping him off balance with teasing and cruelty can create its own subspace loop that feeds itself to her end. This can be nurtured: she tells him that she loves that he's ashamed of himself and loves him when he is that way. Or turned against him: she acts disgusted by his kinks but constantly reminds him that she tolerates him because he obeys.
It's a rather wicked balance. I seem to be caught somewhere in limbo. I am comfortable with being a submissive. I feel ashamed about being a sissy. This shame turns me on and makes me more submissive. Am I better off finding peace or better off being mind-fucked about it forever? If I had to choose I would probably have to go with the mind-fuck, but then again, I can fully admit that I am easy prey... at the bottom of the food chain (and I like it that way).
I guess in my own mind things make perfect sense like this:
She is, of course, perfectly normal. She likes to tie up subs and spank them, but that's normal. She gets off watching subs whimpering and writhing in pain but that's normal. She likes to dress subs up like girls because it amuses her, but that's normal. She likes to keep his penis caged in a chastity belt, but that's normal.
He likes being the one tied up and spanked? He's fucked up. He likes writhing in pain? He's fucked up. He wants her to control his orgasms? He's fucked up. He gets a hard on when she makes him dress up in slutty clothes and frilly furs? He's fucked up.
I don't know if I should come to terms with things but it really gives me a hard on feelings fucked up about myself.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Another Request
I received another request tonight via messenger for some more gender role reversal type drawings. One idea was to have some sissy cheerleaders cheering for female athletes. I pretty much went with that but did a lone sissy cheerleader being mocked and humiliated.
On a side note, I have a bit of a thing for women that are taller than me so I figured basketball would be a pretty good theme. I used a game photo of Lauren Jackson as a model for the basketball player, who is quite attractive and also 6'5" tall.
Here is the finished drawing.
On a side note, I have a bit of a thing for women that are taller than me so I figured basketball would be a pretty good theme. I used a game photo of Lauren Jackson as a model for the basketball player, who is quite attractive and also 6'5" tall.
Here is the finished drawing.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Drawing practice
I found this outfit while browsing this year's fall/winter collections. I think it's quite sexy (for a woman, not a sissy).
I did a fair bit of experimenting here, trying to make the knitted sweater top look more like a sweater. I'm fairly happy with how the gloves turned out, but man... the detail on the gloves took almost as much time as the rest of the drawing.
My entire goal of all time with drawing was to be able to draw an attractive woman. I think I am getting closer to reaching that goal, but I still have a ways to go.
I did a couple of variations with different color collars.
Friday, August 5, 2011
A requested picture
I had someone request another drawing the other day. They gave a bit of a description of it and I did my best within those parameters.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Another practice portrait
This one didn't quite turn out like I wanted it to... but I also sort of just kind of pushed to finish it without going in and adding the shading on the coat. I suppose I may revisit it at some point and finish it up.
Fall/Winter 2011
The 2011 fall/winter collections are starting to roll out on department store websites.
The good news for fur lovers, there's lots of it. The bad news is, it's a really mixed bag in terms of styles. It seems there's a split between shaggy and sleek, and much of the shaggy might be warm, but isn't all that flattering to the figure.
Another plus is that designers seem to be getting away from skinny leg pants. I've always found those to be sort of gross, the way they tend to give women chicken legs and I'm sure there's many out there that have pushed themselves towards eating disorders to pull it off. I though the pinned pant look in the 80's was sort of off and I feel the same way about skinny leg pants.
Here's a few things that have caught my eye so far this year.
The good news for fur lovers, there's lots of it. The bad news is, it's a really mixed bag in terms of styles. It seems there's a split between shaggy and sleek, and much of the shaggy might be warm, but isn't all that flattering to the figure.
Another plus is that designers seem to be getting away from skinny leg pants. I've always found those to be sort of gross, the way they tend to give women chicken legs and I'm sure there's many out there that have pushed themselves towards eating disorders to pull it off. I though the pinned pant look in the 80's was sort of off and I feel the same way about skinny leg pants.
Here's a few things that have caught my eye so far this year.
Latest drawing
I had originally intended this to go somewhere but I decided just to stop where I was at...
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Someone who reads my blog for the pictures might think that I'm actually really into...
pegging.
I kind of cheaped out on the shading on this one out of laziness.
I kind of cheaped out on the shading on this one out of laziness.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Drawing
Well, I did this drawing in sections over the course of about two months, drawing one character in each sitting. I'm not all that happy with how it turned out (it's a bit inconsistent and things didn't quite "fit" how I wanted them to) but I figured I'd share it anyways. I had planned to add some captions but decided against it.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Hehe...
I wasn't planning on making two posts tonight but I happened to stumble across these the other day and they're fucking awful. I'm sure there's more humiliating sissy footwear out there but these would probably be near the top of the list. That color just makes your eyes want to bleed.
Touching base
I am alive... but haven't been much in the mood for writing, drawing, or thinking along BDSM lines.
Things have been good over the past couple of weeks with Mistress and I, although D/s is still absent from things, I can't complain. I have been heavily into my hobbies lately and she has kept herself busy as well.
I have made several attempts to draw over the past few months, but I haven't really finished any of them until one I worked on a few days ago.
The drawing I did finish is somewhat inspired by SPH (small penis humiliation). It's not something that I'm usually "into" nor am I tiny or anything but like most men who aren't hung like elephants, penis size has led to insecurities at certain times over my life. I've found this to be an easy form of control that a woman can have over a man. Even if he can pleasure her completely during sex the idea that she wished he was bigger can make the man wish he was bigger, and in turn increase his appreciation for her because she accepts him even with his inadequacies. It doesn't take much to bring that doubt on (unless he's hung like an elephant) and it will probably haunt him at least occasionally for the rest of his erectile life.
Sure, it's kind of a cheap shot but it seems it's kind of fitting for a man to be insecure about his penis when women are bred to be insecure about just about everything.
This picture isn't so much about saying a man is small, but more about instilling some doubt that can be used against him.
Things have been good over the past couple of weeks with Mistress and I, although D/s is still absent from things, I can't complain. I have been heavily into my hobbies lately and she has kept herself busy as well.
I have made several attempts to draw over the past few months, but I haven't really finished any of them until one I worked on a few days ago.
The drawing I did finish is somewhat inspired by SPH (small penis humiliation). It's not something that I'm usually "into" nor am I tiny or anything but like most men who aren't hung like elephants, penis size has led to insecurities at certain times over my life. I've found this to be an easy form of control that a woman can have over a man. Even if he can pleasure her completely during sex the idea that she wished he was bigger can make the man wish he was bigger, and in turn increase his appreciation for her because she accepts him even with his inadequacies. It doesn't take much to bring that doubt on (unless he's hung like an elephant) and it will probably haunt him at least occasionally for the rest of his erectile life.
Sure, it's kind of a cheap shot but it seems it's kind of fitting for a man to be insecure about his penis when women are bred to be insecure about just about everything.
This picture isn't so much about saying a man is small, but more about instilling some doubt that can be used against him.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Fetish, Happiness, and Subspace
Lady Grey left some good comments on my last post. I had started working through some additional thoughts in a full post but about halfway through I found myself just sort of spinning in circles and unsure of where I was going, so here's take two.
My other post was me trying to figure out if it's an actual activity that "does it" for me or if it's more about the situation than the actual events.
I kind of look at my submissive self in three different ways:
1. Things that drive me sexually.
2. Things that I need to be happy.
3. Things that increase my subspace.
My sexual drives are what I consider to be my fetishes. They pretty much turn me on all the time and aren't things that are directly related to a woman's anatomy or figure (e.g. I don't consider enjoying breasts a fetish). My list of these things includes:
-A woman's aggressive and dominant personality.
-Being a submissive (which I think is slightly different than just being submissive).
-Women wearing fur or fur-trimmed clothing.
-Women wearing certain styles of boots.
-Women wearing certain styles of gloves.
-The touch of fur.
-Bondage: both restraining and ornamental (e.g. collars).
-"Safe" humiliation and emasculation (safe = controlled environment with no risk).
-Tease and Denial.
Those things really make me tick sexually but at the same time. What I choose to fantasize about in my free time usually involves many of these but often goes well beyond what I might actually want to do.
Things that I need to be happy:
-Love
-Trust/security (I know that if I do my part she won't abandon me)
-Subspace (it gives me inner peace)
Things that increase my subspace (sorry if any of these seem redundant):
-Inequality of power.
-The removal of "true" choice and freedom.
-Expectations of perfection and strict consequences.
-Humiliation/Emasculation.
-Feeling inferior.
-Having actions or activities forced upon me.
-Justifications for cruelty (e.g. this is for your own good, you can't control your penis, etc.).
-Mind fucks.
These seem really easy to understand when I look at activities that I consciously enjoy and know turn me on. e.g. Being chained down to a bed by a Venus in Furs who teases my nipples.
However, it becomes more complicated when I look at activities that I don't don't enjoy (or even flat out dislike) but they give me some beneficial feelings in other ways. They tend to feed each other in a circular manner. In my last post I referenced pegging, forced feminization, and chastity. When I think of pegging in general, it doesn't do anything to me. The same goes for forced fem and chastity. If I incorporate a situation involving a dominant woman and circumstances surrounding each of those activities, it "does it" for me. I have experienced each of these things and found they held some positives and some negatives but pegging doesn't release that basic trigger in me like a Venus in Furs might.
I tried to look for the commonalities across all things, both the ones that I enjoy and the ones that I didn't and really only found one thing: A woman with the capacity and desire for cruelty.
It's not that I would want to be pegged again but I desire a woman that would peg me if she felt like it. It's not that I crave forced fem but I desire a woman that would make me dress up or face severe consequences. It's not that I crave chastity but I desire a woman that might force it upon me as a punishment or just because she felt like it. I don't like being spanked but I desire a woman that would spank me whenever she felt like it.
I don't know if this is the act or the idea of the act. Knowing that I don't crave the act but crave the potential that the act might happen regardless of what I want makes me a bit confused.
I'm starting to get a bit frustrated since I haven't come to an answer on this but when I envision a woman that does whatever she wants regardless of whether I like it or hate it I get turned on. Now I am realistic, love, trust, and subspace would have to be involved for me to feel happy and satisfied. I also doubt I could be happy with a Domme that was also an active member of PETA (I would rather her dress in fur and keep me in chastity than not wear it at all).
So... a fur-appreciating Mistress that loves me and enjoys doing things that put me into deep subspace is probably the greatest satisfaction I could hope for and I crave that more than I would any one activity.
But alas... this still doesn't really find the answers I was looking for. I will mull it over for the next few days.
My other post was me trying to figure out if it's an actual activity that "does it" for me or if it's more about the situation than the actual events.
I kind of look at my submissive self in three different ways:
1. Things that drive me sexually.
2. Things that I need to be happy.
3. Things that increase my subspace.
My sexual drives are what I consider to be my fetishes. They pretty much turn me on all the time and aren't things that are directly related to a woman's anatomy or figure (e.g. I don't consider enjoying breasts a fetish). My list of these things includes:
-A woman's aggressive and dominant personality.
-Being a submissive (which I think is slightly different than just being submissive).
-Women wearing fur or fur-trimmed clothing.
-Women wearing certain styles of boots.
-Women wearing certain styles of gloves.
-The touch of fur.
-Bondage: both restraining and ornamental (e.g. collars).
-"Safe" humiliation and emasculation (safe = controlled environment with no risk).
-Tease and Denial.
Those things really make me tick sexually but at the same time. What I choose to fantasize about in my free time usually involves many of these but often goes well beyond what I might actually want to do.
Things that I need to be happy:
-Love
-Trust/security (I know that if I do my part she won't abandon me)
-Subspace (it gives me inner peace)
Things that increase my subspace (sorry if any of these seem redundant):
-Inequality of power.
-The removal of "true" choice and freedom.
-Expectations of perfection and strict consequences.
-Humiliation/Emasculation.
-Feeling inferior.
-Having actions or activities forced upon me.
-Justifications for cruelty (e.g. this is for your own good, you can't control your penis, etc.).
-Mind fucks.
These seem really easy to understand when I look at activities that I consciously enjoy and know turn me on. e.g. Being chained down to a bed by a Venus in Furs who teases my nipples.
However, it becomes more complicated when I look at activities that I don't don't enjoy (or even flat out dislike) but they give me some beneficial feelings in other ways. They tend to feed each other in a circular manner. In my last post I referenced pegging, forced feminization, and chastity. When I think of pegging in general, it doesn't do anything to me. The same goes for forced fem and chastity. If I incorporate a situation involving a dominant woman and circumstances surrounding each of those activities, it "does it" for me. I have experienced each of these things and found they held some positives and some negatives but pegging doesn't release that basic trigger in me like a Venus in Furs might.
I tried to look for the commonalities across all things, both the ones that I enjoy and the ones that I didn't and really only found one thing: A woman with the capacity and desire for cruelty.
It's not that I would want to be pegged again but I desire a woman that would peg me if she felt like it. It's not that I crave forced fem but I desire a woman that would make me dress up or face severe consequences. It's not that I crave chastity but I desire a woman that might force it upon me as a punishment or just because she felt like it. I don't like being spanked but I desire a woman that would spank me whenever she felt like it.
I don't know if this is the act or the idea of the act. Knowing that I don't crave the act but crave the potential that the act might happen regardless of what I want makes me a bit confused.
I'm starting to get a bit frustrated since I haven't come to an answer on this but when I envision a woman that does whatever she wants regardless of whether I like it or hate it I get turned on. Now I am realistic, love, trust, and subspace would have to be involved for me to feel happy and satisfied. I also doubt I could be happy with a Domme that was also an active member of PETA (I would rather her dress in fur and keep me in chastity than not wear it at all).
So... a fur-appreciating Mistress that loves me and enjoys doing things that put me into deep subspace is probably the greatest satisfaction I could hope for and I crave that more than I would any one activity.
But alas... this still doesn't really find the answers I was looking for. I will mull it over for the next few days.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
The "abused slave" Fantasy
I finally got around to commenting on Lady Grey's post of The Appeal of Disinterest (that also featured one of my drawings as an example) and I had a few thoughts come together that I was able to connect to many aspects of my kink.
I know I've probably written something almost identical to this in the past but if I did, it's not something fresh in my memory so please forgive me if this seems redundant.
I've spent a lot of time over the years trying to figure out why certain fantasies "do it" for me sexually when I damn well know that I wouldn't want a lifestyle like that. I'd also wondered why I rarely connect with others that seem to share the same fetishes that I do. I titled this post as the "abused slave" fantasy since that was the first thing that came to mind but I will cover a few others in this regards.
Picture this fantasy that can be found in thousands of Femdom fetish fiction stories around the internet:
A man is kidnapped and kept against his will by a beautiful, cruel, rich Mistress that takes him as her live in slave and forces him to do whatever she wants while she beats him unmercifully and he's never allowed an ounce of joy or freedom.
If a random assortment of 100 male subs read this story and got turned on, there is likely a major difference between why they got turned on. There are extreme slaves out there but they are usually quite rare, so I would assume that out of those 100, 4 of them were subs that were truly cut out for the lifestyle depicted in the fantasy. The remaining 96 probably wouldn't be, so why are all 100 of them masturbating to the same story?
I think the root of this divide is the act vs. the environment. For everyone that gets turned on by a scenario, a handful have a fetish for the activity and the majority have a fetish for the situation surrounding the activity. I think that many subs may feel like they have a larger kink-interest base than they really do because of this. I think this is one of the reasons that many subs end up appearing "fake" when confronted with a real situation: they want the woman capable of doing such things but not the things that she actually does.
In many ways I think I have been uncertain as to why particular activities have turned me on. I know with a post during my last pegging picture I had wondered why I drew it (and why it turned me on drawing it). I hate the activity of being pegged. I enjoy the humiliation and submission it brings on and the idea of a woman willing to strip me of my dignity. Forced feminization has a similar role within me. The act of crossdressing does nothing for me, the humiliation of a woman making me dress that way is a huge turn on. Chastity is something I hate but the idea of a woman forcing it upon me is a turn on.
I guess when I really break it down I don't have that many "true" fetishes. I know I was able to realize these characteristics about individual activities but I don't think I ever connected it as a whole.
I know I've probably written something almost identical to this in the past but if I did, it's not something fresh in my memory so please forgive me if this seems redundant.
I've spent a lot of time over the years trying to figure out why certain fantasies "do it" for me sexually when I damn well know that I wouldn't want a lifestyle like that. I'd also wondered why I rarely connect with others that seem to share the same fetishes that I do. I titled this post as the "abused slave" fantasy since that was the first thing that came to mind but I will cover a few others in this regards.
Picture this fantasy that can be found in thousands of Femdom fetish fiction stories around the internet:
A man is kidnapped and kept against his will by a beautiful, cruel, rich Mistress that takes him as her live in slave and forces him to do whatever she wants while she beats him unmercifully and he's never allowed an ounce of joy or freedom.
If a random assortment of 100 male subs read this story and got turned on, there is likely a major difference between why they got turned on. There are extreme slaves out there but they are usually quite rare, so I would assume that out of those 100, 4 of them were subs that were truly cut out for the lifestyle depicted in the fantasy. The remaining 96 probably wouldn't be, so why are all 100 of them masturbating to the same story?
I think the root of this divide is the act vs. the environment. For everyone that gets turned on by a scenario, a handful have a fetish for the activity and the majority have a fetish for the situation surrounding the activity. I think that many subs may feel like they have a larger kink-interest base than they really do because of this. I think this is one of the reasons that many subs end up appearing "fake" when confronted with a real situation: they want the woman capable of doing such things but not the things that she actually does.
In many ways I think I have been uncertain as to why particular activities have turned me on. I know with a post during my last pegging picture I had wondered why I drew it (and why it turned me on drawing it). I hate the activity of being pegged. I enjoy the humiliation and submission it brings on and the idea of a woman willing to strip me of my dignity. Forced feminization has a similar role within me. The act of crossdressing does nothing for me, the humiliation of a woman making me dress that way is a huge turn on. Chastity is something I hate but the idea of a woman forcing it upon me is a turn on.
I guess when I really break it down I don't have that many "true" fetishes. I know I was able to realize these characteristics about individual activities but I don't think I ever connected it as a whole.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
I was hoping to work on that drawing I talked about in my last post but...
it seems my inner motivation and libido have gone dormant for the time being.
Hopefully I'll finish it up soon.
Hopefully I'll finish it up soon.
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