Monday, May 23, 2016

More on K, comfort, fur, and early sissification

Memories just keep on pouring in...

These events would have occurred in the early going of Reflections Part 2F.

K was a very warm and caring person.  I mentioned in parts of 2D and 2E that she was firmly set upon making me become comfortable with fur since she felt it would help me have a more enjoyable and fulfilling life.  I loved her very much for trying to do this, but it got a little bit weird.  K was still feeling our her Domspace while still figuring out my nuances as a submissive.

I mentioned before that some of her attempts had the opposite effect on me and ended up bringing me more shame than comfort and acceptance.  I'm starting to be very convinced that it was her exploration and testing of both her dominance and my submission that left me in a constant state of flux between subspace and slavespace and confusion.  I don't blame her at all for this, it's just my attempt to understand it.

We had conversations about it almost daily.

K really wanted to convince me that short or medium fur items could appear as unisex if the colors were neutral.  She would send me store links to store items like black fur earmuffs, leather gloves with  fur cuffs, black fur scarves, and the like.   The included text would say something like "see, these aren't so bad."

Our conversations would continue on the topic.
"I don't understand why you wouldn't wear that."
"It's made for women."
"So, I would have no problem wearing something made for men."
"It's different."
"From far away people couldn't even tell it was fur."
"But they could close up."
"And they're black.  You have black hair, I doubt anyone would even notice."
"Would you notice?"
"Well... yes, but I don't think that should stop you."
"I really don't want to."
"But what if I want you to?"
"I don't know."
"'I don't know, Mistress,' say it."  Her Domme mode kicked in.
"I don't know, Mistress."
"So if I got you those black fur earmuffs, would you wear them?"
"I wouldn't want to, Mistress."
"You act like you have a choice.  If I made you wear them, what would you do? Be honest."
"I would probably wear them in the car and take them off when I was going to be around people, Mistress."
"How do you think I would feel about that?"
"I think you would be angry, Mistress."
"You're right, slut.  Maybe I should go to the fur and leather shop and have them make a special pair of big fluffy pink ones that have a locking chin strap for a disobedient sissy slave."
"Please don't, Mistress."
"But sissy slave, if I don't, you told me you'd take them off without permission. Think about all the attention you'd draw to yourself."  K was now masturbating.
"Please don't, Mistress..."
"While they're at it I'm sure they'd make some matching mittens with locking buckles at the wrists.  Can you picture it now, slut? 'Hey, why are there padlocks on your sissy furs?' 'They have to be there because I'm a naughty and disobedient slut.'"  K came and paused for a few seconds before starting up again.
"Mistress..." I let out with a whimper.
"I love it, I'll go there tomorrow and ask.  I wonder if they would make a slave collar that looks like a fur scarf, it could have bells on it and pom poms. I can picture the look on your face.  I'm so wet."
I couldn't speak, but K continued on.
"I have a perfect idea.  I'll get the pink locking set and a normal black set and bring them both to you. You'll have to choose.  If you choose the black,  you can't take it off without permission.  All the girls will know you love wearing fur, they'll all know."  I could tell that K was actually trying to delay her orgasm here, which was very out of character for her.  I just listened with my fave burning red.
"If you can't promise to keep it on, I'll lock you up in pink.  All the girls will laugh at you.  Laugh at the pink furry sissy.  You'll need a hat too."  K had another orgasm, paused for 2 seconds and started yet again.
"See slut?  You keep defying me.  A sissy slave can't... say... no.  Your face will be so red.  You'll be so hard.  They'll all laugh.  They'll know.  I think I'll keep you this way.  My sissy slave."  K came a final time and returned to "normal."

"You should just wear it, it's not a big deal... answer me.  Are you in sissy slave mode right now?"
"Yes, Mistress."
"Why?  I just want to talk about it more."

Looking back it's hard to believe that my mental block towards what she was trying to do.  I think I felt that women's was women's and I couldn't see beyond that.  Later experiences would teach me there's a definite difference.  My stubbornness forced K's hand and her stubbornness kept pressing forward.  I can't say for certain but I think subconsciously I kept on resisting because she seemed to thrive on it.  It also turned me on to have her push me that far.

Now that I think about it, this is a blog where people can post feedback.  The image below shows ideas of what K was pushing me towards as "unisex" on the left, and "sissy" on the right.  Back then I think my feelings were her ideas were "less sissy" on the left and "more sissy" on the right.  As an outside observer, whose view do you agree with more?

Now that I think about it, I'm not sure why K insisted on earmuffs, and if she chose a hat for me it always had a giant fur pom pom when those were #1 and #3 on my list assignment of most embarrassing items from part 2E.  Maybe it was part of a process to get me to not care what other people might think?  Maybe it was just because she enjoyed messing with my head?  I'll never know.


  1. Thank you for sharing! I have seen men wear fur and no thoughts if him being a sissy sub or gay ever came to mind. Looking at the pictures you provided, I agree with you that the black ones do not appear unisex.

    I love the scripting. It is very nice to read how those conversations sounded.

    Take Care,
    Miss Lily

    1. Thank you for the feedback, Miss Lily. People seem to like the scripting I have done so far, so I will continue to do it (I didn't do any of it for the first 5+ years).

      I agree that men can wear fur without looking sissy or gay. Some people dress with a lot of flare and can pull certain things off. Others can do the rugged mountain man type thing. I am neither of those unfortunately. I dress down, drab, and very very plain. Back then about the only flash I had was some facial piercings. At that time I was finishing up at a very large university (> 100k students) in the middle of a major city and was constantly around large numbers of people, friends, etc. While it's very cold here, I've always been the type to wear minimal clothing outdoors, e.g. no hat, sometimes gloves, never boots, no scarf, no layering, unzipped jacket, etc. I also manage to stand out a lot for some reason. At that time, pulling a major style shift in that way just felt really strange and made me incredibly self-conscious, knowing I would be seeing the same hundreds of people several days a week. The last thing I wanted at that time was for anyone to ask questions... or notice at all... or say anything...

      I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels that my options weren't "unisex" either :)

  2. I've really enjoyed reading your blog again - and on the options in the photos I tend to agree that both are 'sissy' . This is something which I think can change over time - I also live a life where I am made to wear 'sissy' items - and I have found that my tolerance level has changed over time . The mittens which I once dreaded having to wear in public now feel 'normal' and the furrier mittens now feel 'sissy' . I can even convince myself that my black fox trimmed parka jacket is 'normal' - I usually get a dose of reality when I get glances or comments in a shop. So it's an interesting area 'the degree of sissification' but my experience is that you can become conditioned to move your 'normal'
    Thanks for sharing