My First Attempt at Fetish Fiction

I apologize for the crass intro here, but it's honest.

So apparently something happened during my 3.5 years away.  I'm actually able to write/draw without getting too aroused.  I mean, I still get aroused when writing (I even got a hard-on from the "value of Femdom" post), just not "too aroused."  I've attempted writing fetish stories before, but I've always suffered from "blown load syndrome."  That is, if I start writing or drawing something and happen to lose control during it, I can never go back and finish it with the same interest, excitement, or enthusiasm as before.  This crippled any serious attempt I ever made at writing fiction.

I've always wanted to do a Femdom comic/graphic novel, I just don't have the artistic ability to pull it off, so it never gets off the ground.  Since returning, I actually have the ideas for 3-4 ongoing stories that would be best represented in a comic book type format.  Since I can't draw them, I figured why not write one out.  I gave it a whirl and I actually finished the section I set out to.

A couple of notes on this:  I tried to write all of the non-dialogue in present tense and avoided passive sentences as best as I could.  I fear this may be a little bit stilted feeling but I wanted to give the reader the feeling of... being there... like they are the one involved or at least a close spectator, blow by blow as it happens.  That will require a certain pace to the reading.

Any feedback would be great.  Feel free to be harsh.  If I'm terrible and have no place trying to write this stuff, I'm fine knowing that.  If you think it's hot, super, I'd love to know that too.

About the scene... this is intended to be a flashback in the story.  These are from the sub's point of view as he looks back at what led up to his current situation.  This scene serves as the pinnacle of intimacy with his Mistress before things change and throws his situation into upheaval.  The other parts of the story require storyboarding or graphic panels and don't work well communicated verbally.

The sub is based upon... well me, and how I would feel and react in these situations.  The Domme is an amalgam of experiences and fantasies.  Also of note, the K in the story is a different K and not the K from Reflections part 2.

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I bury my face into her crotch.  My lips encase her clit and her sweet smell surrounds me.  I apply gentle pressure with my tongue.  She responds, hips lurching forward, grinding.  I feel her hands grab my hair.  She falls back upon the bed, pulling me forwards.  My neck cranes under the force.  I kiss, lick, and tease her with my tongue.  She moans.  Her back arches as she takes a deep breath.  I keep licking, sucking, swirling my tongue.  This is how she likes it.  Her right hand makes a fist with a handful of my hair.
"Keep going, pet," she gasps.
I glance up.  Her head tilts back, her breath uneven.  I speed up, pressing my tongue harder, firmer, faster.  She throws her legs over my shoulders.  Her ankles cross, her heel digging into my back.  I lurch forward against the edge of the bed.  I strain, the cuffs around my wrists reaching the limits of the hog tie's length.
"Harder, pet," she moans.
I press my knees back and tip forward, chest pressed against the edge of the mattress, and press my face deeper into her sex.
Her heel bounces off my back over and over, in perfect rhythm with the pace of my tongue, the grinding of her hips, the tug of her hand on my hair.  We move as one.
She exhales and moans, the fingers of her left hand gently teasing her nipple.  More with the tongue, focus... harder, faster, harder, faster.
"Oh fuck," she cries.  Her hips buck violently.  I feel her liquid on my chin and dribbling down my chest.
Her legs relax, sliding down my shoulders and to either side of me.  She relaxes her grip on my hair and I feel her pelvis drop back against the bed.  Her head flat on the mattress facing away from me.  Her breathing slows, relaxing.  I sneak a quick kiss, she squirms under me.
"Naughty, pet!"
Her head tilts up and our eyes meet.  I love her.  She is my Goddess.  She smiles and her eyes are warm, I feel them looking into my soul.
We remain like this for several minutes.  Our eyes stay locked.  I give her a peck of a kiss on her inner thigh and follow with another on the other thigh.  I speak with my eyes, "you are my love, my world, my everything."
"You know, even without words I can read you like a book," she says with a wider smile.
I sneak another kiss between her legs.  She grins and shakes her head, breaking our eye contact.
I watch her slowly rise, propping herself in her elbows and easing upright.  She now sits in front of me.  She pets my hair.
"My sweet pet," she coos.  "How's your naughty stick?"  She looks down.  I close my eyes and blush.  I feel her toe touch its base.
"Not.  Quite.   Yet.  Turn around, pet."
I shuffle my knees and ankles as far as the restraints allow, slowly turning until she is behind me.
"Up!"
I topple forward onto my chest and crane my hands and ankles as far as I can lift them.
"I know you can do better."
I take a breath, bury my face into the carpet and strain.
"That's good.  You move for me, not the other way around."
She reaches out and unlocks the hog tie one point at a time.  I maintain my posture until all four are removed.  My extended limbs shake under the strain.
"Relax."
I slowly lower my arms and legs to the floor.
"Good boy," she chides.  "Fetch my robe, hat, and slippers."
I climb to my knees, turn, and plant a kiss on her right foot and another on her left.  I turn away on my knees, pull myself ahead a few feet, stand, and head to her closet.

As I return I see her standing at the dresser.  Her nude body entrances me.  She pulls on a pair of leather fingerless gloves and picks up the white remote.  A few beeps later and the air conditioner blasts.  I watch her walk gracefully across the room and stop in front of the chair.  The chair is her throne.  My Queen.  My Goddess.  She extends her right arm and snaps her fingers.  I hurry towards her.  I raise the robe, sliding her right arm into the sleeve, then the left, and I lift the rest over her shoulders.

The robe is special.  It was her first creation when she opened the shop.  I smooth out the large fur collar around her neck and straighten the red velvet around her body.  It sculpts perfectly to her form, my hands tracing over her hips.  She turns to me.
"Top 3 hooks."
I carefully fasten the robe, one by one.  My eyes admire her cleavage while my hands continue with their work, gently, without touching her, just as she trained me.  She turns again.  I delicately gather her long brown hair and slide it neatly outside the collar.  I shift to my toes and ease the matching velvet downbrim dress hat onto her head, carefully making sure its contours are aimed correctly.

She turns and sits.  I drop to my knees with a lowered head.  While upon her throne my eyes steer away from her face.  These are the Queen's rules and I obey.
She lifts her right foot and I slide the fur lined slipper onto it.  Then the left.  I bend down and kiss each foot.
"Service position."
I straighten my posture upon my knees and bow my head, hands at my sides.  My finger begins to twitch.  She notices.
"Cold, pet?"
I nod.  The room swirls with the chill and breeze of the electric air.
"Good."
I feel her eyes pierce me.  I know that fantasies and images swirl in her head.  She is working herself into a frenzy.  Her hand slides down the outside of the robe.  Her fingers move, caresses, back and forth, back and forth, the fur lining of the robe teases her sex.  Her hands stop.  She slides forwards in the throne, closer to me.  I watch her hands, they left and extend towards me.  She slips her wrist forward, sliding back the fur cuffs, and feel her index fingers and thumbs clamp down on each nipple.  She tugs and twists.  My cock reacts and I take a deep breath.
"Your nipples are freezing pet.  But... that... is... what... I... like... about... you."
The rhythmic tones of her voice charm me.
"Pet endures and doesn't complain.  Poor, poor, little pet, I'm such a cruel Mistress."
I blush.
"What I really like about you, is that the meaner I get..."  She digs her nails into my nipples and crushes them.  I squeal in pain.
"The more you love me."
I sense no more cuteness in her voice.  She is ready.  She spreads her legs and parts the lower part of her robe.
"I want to feel your hands."
I reach forward, cupping my hands over her breasts.  My body leans and my mouth moves towards her crotch.  Her pelvis lunges forward, meeting me.  It hungers.  I lock my lips with a light suction.  My tongue flicks over it.  My hands continue to massage.  She moans, notifying me they found the sweet spot.  Gentle but deliberate, the rhythm, the fur against her breasts and nipples.  She grinds, pressing my head back and forth, my lips chase her.
"Lower!"
I slide my hands down and cup her breasts from below.  I feel her ribs heaving with every breath. Both of her hands tear at my hair, forcing my lips against her.  My tongue presses harder and moves.  Her hips intensify.  Harder and faster.  Her left hand grabs my wrist and forces my hand down her side to her thigh just below her waist.  My right hand instinctively follows suit.  I firmly rub her thighs, the fur teases them.  Around and around, we again move as one.  My lips, my tongue, her grinds.  Her clit meets my tongue with eager anticipation.  I pull against her hips, pressing my lips harder.  Her right hand continues to pull my hair toward her.  Her left hand finds her nipple through the outside of the robe, teasing it with the fur.

Her whole body heaves in a fixed rhythm, she gasps and moans with each repeating cycle.
"Fuck, pet.  Faster!"
Our pace quickens.  My tongue moves firmer, faster, firmer, faster.  My hands slide up and down her sides outside the robe.  Her hands cup her own breasts.  We grind.  Her breaths heave.  She squeals and soaks me in her juices.

She slumps back in her throne.  She is spent.  I kneel back and watch her breathing, her chest expands slower and slower and it finally relaxes.
"Look at me."
Our eyes meet.  She is warm again, happy, content.  She smiles.  It's beautiful.
"Are you cold?"
I nod.
She stands and takes my hand in hers.  Guiding me, I follow.  She lays down on the large bearskin rug next to the bed.  She pats her lap.  I lay next to her and snuggle up against her, the little spoon.  She opens her robe and pulls the side over me.  The fur is warm but I focus on the heat from her body, both skin on skin and her heat left on the robe's fur.  It envelopes me.

I feel her arm reach around me, her fingers fidget before taking shape around my penis wrapped in the edge of the robe's fur.  She clasps it firmly, it stiffens within her touch.  Slowly she strokes it.  My head spins, dizzy with both love and desire.
"I have to tell you something, pet.  Please listen carefully.  I met someone."
My heart skips a beat.  My body tenses and she notices.
"Your love for me is real.  My love for you is real too, but I met someone... a woman... and it makes me feel something I've never felt before."
My eyes tear up.  I sniffle.  My worst fear.  She continues to rub but it's no longer hard.
"This isn't the end for us.  It will be different, but she knows that we can only be together if I can keep you."
The tears flow.  Her hand releases my cock and embraces me.  Her lips are next to my ear.  I can feel her breath.
"Do you remember when you said you didn't care if I played with other women?"
I nod.
"Do you remember you said you thought it was hot?"
I nod again.
"Well I played and it was hot and it grew into something more.  You want me to be happy, right?"
I nod, choking back more tears.
"You may speak."
"I'm scared, Mistress," I whimper.
"Are you scared that I will leave you?"
I nod, starting to sob.
"Would anything make it feel okay?"
I shrug my shoulders.
"What if we make your bond to me, legal.  Not marriage, but as legal as we can make it, would that make it better?  That way I can't leave you and you can't leave me."
I clasp her hand in mine and squeeze.
"So you'll be okay if we make it that way?  That you can never leave and I can never send you away?"
I press her hand against my lips.  My body quakes in a mix of confusion, sadness, fear, and my love for her.
"I need you to say it, pet.  That you are okay with this."
I close my eyes tight.  My voice cracks under the tears, "I love you, Mistress, more than anything.  You are my Goddess, my world, my everything... you are the keeper of my soul.  I love you and will do anything to make you happy."
"Thank you, pet, I'll get my lawyers working on the contracts.  Things will be a little bit different after she moves in.  She had some conditions as well to let me keep you.  Some of them are straight out of your fantasies.  I know you and know what you can handle and it's nothing you can't endure.  Go to the nightstand and retrieve the paper from the drawer."

I get up and move quickly across the room.  It's freezing.  I shiver as I move, dizzy with confusion and pain.  I retrieve the paper and return to her.  We resume our spooning.  She slides one arm over my shoulder and grips my nipple, the other closes around my penis.
"Read them, pet."
I read aloud.
#1. The slave will no longer have a name, but will be referred to as f.s.01.
#2. The slave may not speak to K without permission.
#3. The slave may not look at K without permission.
#4. The slave must obey K as he would the Mistress.
#5. The slave will be kept in chastity with weekly milking and cleaning, and orgasms permitted once a year on the date of his original collaring.
#6. The slave will hold the official title as maid and will be required to present himself in a professional manner befitting the role."

I feel my erection grow against her grip.  Her fingers squeeze and tease.

"#7. The slave will have personal contact with the Mistress 30 minutes per day for disciplining.
#8. On Sundays the slave will be permitted an additional 2 hours of alone time with the Mistress."
"I made certain we would have personal time together," she whispers in my ear while twisting my nipple.

"#9. The slave must accept additional corrective punishments if required, with K performing this duty in the Mistress's absence.
#10. The slave must unconditionally accept any additional rules deemed necessary for behavioral control."
"Those aren't so bad, are they?" she asks with a giggle.
I don't respond.
"Those are some of YOUR fantasies.  Now they can be real."

She rocks her body forward and sits upright.

"Are you going to make me proud?"
"Yes, Mistress."
"Lay on your back."

I follow her instructions.  She climbs over me, straddling my torso, facing away from me.  The back of her robe drapes over my face.  I can see her back.  She's beautiful.  I feel her hand on my penis.  It perks to life.
"Speech privileges removed.  Rub my sides."

My hands trace the shape of her body through the robe.  I gently caress her body, feeling each rib, moving slowly up and down from breast to hip.  Her hands continues to rub me.  She's so intoxicating I only now recognize my lust for her.  It swells within her grasp. She notices.  Her heat presses against my stomach.  She is moist again.
"You're going to make me proud pet," she pants, grinding her body against mine.
Her stroking intensifies.  I feel things build.  Faster.  Faster.
"I'm so proud of you, pet."
Faster, harder.  Faster.  I lift my hips.  Her sex burns against my skin.
"So proud.  You make me happy."
Faster and faster.  I moan.  She squirms, her pelvis shifts on top of me.  I love her.  My mind goes blank. I arch my back and press my hips toward the sky.
"Cum!" she shouts.
I explode, spraying a stream upward.  She blocks it with her hand.  Spurts continue, muscles contracting, pulse, pulse, and calm.  She wipes her hand off on my skin, her hips slowly gyrating over me.
"I love you, pet."
My eyes tear up.  I love her too, more than I can express with words.  She dismounts and looks down at me.  Her eyes blaze again.  The predator looking down at the meat.
"Worship my body in the shower.  Bring your knee pads, I'm feeling kind tonight."

END OF ACT