Disclaimer: the following post may paint a picture of generalizations based upon my experiences with male doms. I have met a handful of them over the years that were positive experiences and interesting to interact with and I do not consider them a part of this pseudo-rant.
Last night something interesting happened. Well not so much interesting but more like, "wow, that hasn't happened in a while." I logged into messenger and got approached by a random guy. This has happened dozens of times over the years and it's not something I appreciate all that much. They immediately started asking me questions, including age, sex, and location. I resisted the temptation to respond "1996, robot, AOL chat room," and did answer back. They answered my questions as well, including if they got my messenger name from my blog or from a profile search. It was a search (my profile is blank except for a username).
It was a male in their 40's and they immediately attempted to initiate some D/s interaction. I made some reference that my Mistress wouldn't approve of this they paused, saying "oh, you serve a woman." Bam, right back to exactly what they were doing.
While this was the first time this had happened in quite a while, it marked about the 50th time this scenario has happened with me. Sometimes I see if the person will actually have a conversation but this is usually not the case so I log off. It's like, damn, I try to build some connections and I seem to be a magnet for creeps. This is such a contrast from when I get messaged by a Domme. I'm usually surprised and a little bit awkward/intimidated in these cases, but they are always cordial, kind, and respectful. Additionally, it's almost always for some conversation with clear boundaries and no expectations beyond some company and getting to know each other (aka building a friendship).
For some reason random men find it normal to open with "you like fur? I like fur, now suck my dick." Uhh, no? I'd break both their arms before that would ever happen.
In my earlier days in the lifestyle I would hop into chat rooms now and then. I almost always chose some gender neutral screen name that implied I was a sub but nothing more. My first time in the collarme chat rooms I had 25 private conversations hit me in under a minute, all from male doms. About 20 of them said the same thing: "I read your profile and you seemed interesting, I want you to submit to me." The first 3 or 4 I responded with: "Great, then from my profile you'd know I am a heterosexual male with no interest in men." The remaining 5 were along the lines of "Hey cutie, show me your tits and suck my dick."
A bunch of creeps. I would guess that's partly why they are trolling the internet preying on the horny or those with no self-esteem rather than in a relationship. I don't know many women, submissive or otherwise, that would describe their perfect man as someone who drives a windowless van with a "Free Puppies" sign on its side. Any wonder as to why negative stereotypes develop were answered in less than 60 seconds. If people actually go for that garbage they are just as guilty.
Just because I'm into kink doesn't mean I don't appreciate some decency, courtesy, and tact. Does this shit actually work on people? Once I actually explained to one that this wasn't the best way to approach a stranger. I could hear their jaw hitting the floor from across the country. They listened intently as I explained that you start with small talk and pleasantries, build a conversation on mutual interests, and slowly press onward if there's a connection. It felt a lot like explaining to a 10 year old about pulling pigtails on the playground. I know subs are known to lose their mind when they approach Dommes, but apparently it's most men that lose their minds when kink is involved.
I don't know if I should find this as mind-boggling as I do, but... really?
It's not that I avoid chatting with men, just please do not come at me like some horny animal demanding that I submit.
I'd get into my real world experiences being around male doms but then this would become a full-on rant post and I'm trying to avoid those.