The mean gene is sort of a joke that I creates to describe that certain X factor that tends to make most Dommes, well, Dommes.
I think within many people there's an instinct to poke, to prod, to push boundaries. An instinct that naughty is fun. An instinct to tease. An enjoyment of power and weilding said power. An instinct to take what you want.
As with most instincts it gets sharper if it is honed and dull if it's suppressed. You can call it what you will, a wicked streak, a wild side, etc.
Some people choose to feed it and it grows strong within them. Others choose to bury it since it makes them question if they are "good" while it flows within them.
I find Dommes that are naturally dominant tend to have a hungry and prominent "mean gene." The desire to cause that little bit of extra suffering that they connect with sexually. That's not to say that all Dommes are sadists, but I think most find the notion of a naked and squirming man chained to the bed an attractive prospect. The idea of "I can do what I want and he can't stop me."
I think in most cases of vanilla to D/s conversions that this is where it breaks down. Some of the characteristics are present but the innate desire... that driving hunger just isn't there. In some cases it is dormant and awakens with a vengeance. In others it may never have existed or it has been buried so deeply that it doesn't surface.
To those who embrace their mean gene, thank you.
I think you are correct as to the mean gene. I also think that we submissives always want just a little more meanness. We are wired that way.
ReplyDeleteThank you Penney, I mnow what you say describes me.
DeleteNice explanation on this, and i love that you refer to it as something that most dommes do.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Miss Lily. I always appreciate the feedback.
DeleteI disagree, fur. All Dommes are sadists. There's nothing shameful in admitting to your sadistic side, and calling it a "mean gene" is unnecessarily splitting hairs. It's sadism, pure and simple, and though there are varying levels of sadism, even the seemingly benign act of denying an orgasm is sadistic, as is demanding corner time, or lines to be written, or floors to be scrubbed endlessly, etc. It all involves pleasure at someone else's discomfort. And that's sadism, by definition.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lady Grey. I do agree with your assessment. If I had to elaborate on my own I think it's that some choose to embrace their sadism while others do not. I think there is even another means where people may embrace the utilitarianism of it but try to avoid a pleasure connection.
DeleteTrying to avoid a pleasure connection? Now that sounds a bit like masochism, no? Why would anyone try to avoid pleasure - unless we're talking about the hair shirt crowd, and I doubt they're reading our blogs.
DeleteI'm not actually sure, Lady Grey but I have recently encountered quite a few people who seem to think a sexual connection to D/s is bad or impure. As you catch up some of the more recent posts you'll get to encounter my insecure side as I ended up encountering quite a few of them lately. They screwed me up for a few days but I have my head on straight again now.
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