Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Clarifications on my alpha rant

I let my alpha out a little hard yesterday.

Based upon some reactions I figured I should write a follow up post to clarify some things.

First thing I will mention is that I am Asian.  I've mentioned that I'm a minority but had never explicitly stated which race.  This is a first for me.  And no, I'm not the "fur sissy" that is out there in porn pics.  I rarely allow myself to be photographed and try to avoid it at all costs.  I've been that way for 20+ years and I can assure you that I would never pose for pics on the internet.  The area that I grew up in had less than a 1% minority population until I had already moved away. 

The thing that I was trying to get at yesterday was basically me giving up on hope that more people will be accepting and open as people.  It just doesn't really happen that way and I don't know why I expected them to be otherwise.  I guess I allowed myself hope because I wanted to.

I really hate it when people speak in absolutes.  I dislike it greatly when people attempt to be exclusive rather than inclusive. 
There are a handful of things that I will flat out admit I am intolerant of.  I'll gladly list a few of them here:
Religious Persecution
Child abuse
Spousal abuse
Exploitation (labor, resources, laws, etc.)
Profiling (race, age, sex, religion, etc.)
Mob mentality
(there are many more things I hate)

A lot of these things exist because people want to perpetuate stereotypes.  These people often form these stereotypes without ever truly knowing anyone who falls into the category they project their bias/hate towards.  If they meet someone that disproves the stereotype they consider them a special case and they don't consider that "proof" that the stereotype shouldn't exist.

I will fully admit that I get pretty upset when people do behaviors like these around me.  I also have no desire to interact with or invest myself in people who harbor these types of beliefs.  In my youth I thought I could change people's way of thinking.  As I've gotten older I've stopped trying.  I don't bother sticking around to fight.  I wash my hands of them and walk away. 

As silly as it is, I am intolerant of intolerance :)

Generally speaking I am quite open-minded to a lot of things.  Even if I don't agree with someone I will hear them out and respect their views if they have non-destructive reasons behind them.  It's even better if they are willing to have discussions back and forth and if they can appreciate different points of view.  I think we can learn a lot from interacting with people that are different from ourselves.  It can help expand our view of the world and what types of things we take into consideration in the future.

It's the hardest when people are completely closed.  It's even worse when they are proud of it.

I experienced a LOT of racism growing up.  Hell, after 9/11 the city I lived in was publicly warning Asians to stay indoors because they were being beaten up by angry mobs who couldn't tell the difference between the Middle East and Far East.

If I hopped on the internet somewhere and read someone posting "All white people are racist," I would probably make a minor comment that "some white people are racist, not all white people."  If those words were ignored and followed by a bandwagon of agreement to the original statement... I would say "fuck 'em" in my head and just leave, realizing that I had no desire to be there.

When it comes to kink topics I generally hope to believe that people have a bit more of an open mind.  That I'll hear fewer absolute statements and less perpetuation of stereotypes.  I hope that people are more open to dialogue and learning from others.

By being interested in Femdom, FLR, or whatever you want to call it, this makes us a minority.  No matter how you slice it, we are a minority.  The standard established societal norms and values will look upon us with scorn.  We are doing it wrong.  This isn't the "traditional household of family values."  Before the terminology got so divided, there were basically two types of Femdom:  1. Bedroom.  2.  Lifestyle.

While each group might not have agreed with the other, there was often a "that's just not for me" reason but overt hostility was pretty minimal.  We were all in the same boat.  Back in 2012 I never felt like things were this divided.  Things are different now.  There's a whole new batch of terminology in order to provide the differences between us.  In some ways it feels an awful lot like the "isms" I am so opposed to.

A looks down on B.
B and A look down on C.
C, B, and A look down on D.
D, C, B, and A look down on E.

I don't think this sort of thing really benefits anyone, and it's even worse when you are part of E.  Has a caste system ever been a positive thing?

The people I like the most do not partake in that hierarchy of discrimination.  They don't see E, they see Bill.  They don't see D, they see John.  They don't see C, they see Jane. etc. 

What left me feeling hurt and disappointed is that I was a bit blindsided by this.  I honestly didn't expect it.  I didn't anticipate people wanting to divide themselves.  I didn't believe someone would willingly be proud of a stance like "well, I'm a minority, but you're more of a minority than I am, so fuck off."

I have to hand it to the homosexual community for their unity.  I remember when it was just LGB.  Then LGBT.  Now it's LGBTQIAPK (or LGBTQIAPKAH if you want to get technical).  That's a lot of unity.  The desire for unity.  The desire to come together as a minority in order to be stronger as a whole.  

The other day I read a post claiming FLR was real and that Femdom was fake.  It made me sick to my stomach that someone wanted to put that much effort into making sure people saw there was a difference.   A case for A to look down on B.  It doesn't really matter because I'm E.  I walked away without saying a word.

I hope this clarifies things a bit and comes off as less angry than yesterday's post. 

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