Tuesday, June 21, 2016

The Myth of the "True submissive"

It strikes a nerve whenever I hear someone use the phrase "true submissive."  It's partly that it's almost always used in hostility and partly at how narrow and arrogant it is to use such a phrase.

I have learned one great truth over my time in the lifestyle:  submission is a life of its own, constantly learning, evolving, and growing.  It changes over time.  A person's form of submission is merely a snapshot, frozen in time.  A month from now it will be different, just as the snapshot was different from the month that preceded it.

Intensity is a mentality.  Experiences and reflection shape us into who we are.  Submission has its own spectrum.  At one end falls the bedroom bottom.  At the other, the TPE slave.  Most of us fall somewhere in between, constantly shifting back and forth along the spectrum.

Submissive evolution primarily stems from two roots: Dominant expectations and our own self-imposed limits on vulnerability.

That is to say, submissives do not directly choose who they are, they merely control what they allow themselves to become.

If I let my arrogance run wild, a concept of perfect submission does appear.  When I picture it, I see an abstract idea of submission that forms an ideal symbiotic relationship with a Domme's dominance.

It is important to acknowledge that dominance is an ever-changing organism as well.  It grows under a different set of constraints but holds a similar spectrum of extremes from the bedroom top to the whip cracking owner of a stable of slaves.  Again most fall somewhere in between, learning, growing, and evolving as they go.

There are no absolutes, just an ideal that your submission and her dominance can work well together and compliment one another on a deep level.

It makes me cringe when I hear a claim of "true submission" that doesn't take any of this into account.

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