I'm still riding the afterglow of finishing fs01. The final word count ended up being 35,000+ words for 1-8 + the bonus chapter. The "I felt like I wrote a book" feeling was fairly accurate as that translates into 120+ pages of text (and surpassed my reflections posts that were 34k in all).
Here is a little look into the process I went through
writing what I found to be the most challenging and enjoyable to write
part of the story.
Writing Part 5 and its related events was very complicated. It was easily the most difficult task I've ever performed
in writing, even more than my senior thesis in college since
I was able to plan that out entirely beforehand and with a clear goal
in mind. fs01 evolved as it grew. The feedback on parts 1 and 2 really
helped me solidify my focus on how I wanted to present things. Part 5
began as a single idea: "fs gets loaned out to a sadist."
realistic logistics for Part 5 changed everything. How would it work?
Well if ______ happens then it would require ______ later, and so on.
What kind of needs would fs have both leading up to and following the
events? A lot of it was based upon what I would do, feel, or need if
faced with the situations at hand. Cassandra would be aware of all of
these things and make sure it happened "correctly."
planning for Part 5 as soon as I wrote Dominique into Part 3. She was
my vehicle leading to the next "trial." My brain was spinning at a mile
per minute as I had to multi-task all of the ideas that flowed in
logistically while continuing to think about the present events Part 3.
I made a series of notes to try and make sure that I wouldn't forget
them. The related key events in Parts 3-6 were basically written at
The true difficulty surfaced in attempting to keep things as realistic with their logistics and true to character as possible.
started with Cassandra's conditions to allow this to happen. I implied
a lot of these things but didn't mention them outright. Cassandra sees
the big picture and lays out a lot of things to make sure fs is
protected emotionally through all of this. I'm not sure if this was
adequately conveyed in the writing, but I hope at least a few people are
able to see that all of these things happened "on purpose," exactly as
Cassandra expected them to.
First off, this had to happen when
she was out of town (this was one of my notes that influenced some of
Parts 3 and 4). If she was home and fs was incapacitated, he would have
felt terrible and struggled with coping about being unable to serve
her. What this also meant was that someone else would have to be there
for fs to repair his damaged psyche. This was Theresa. The "emergency
protocols" were to serve as his "painkillers." The extremity of the
events and how to deal with them would be the foundation of Theresa's
revelation about Cassandra and fs's relationship.
loan made sense if it was for him to serve a woman or a friend as a
favor sort of thing. As an abused plaything, I felt compensation would
be necessary. This led to the negotiations scene in Part 3. The
payment also felt right for fs's mental preparation in Part 4: to give
him a high monetary value that would make him feel better about things.
fs would need to be in top form mentally to endure this. This gave
rise to Part 4 and Lisa's continued involvement with fs. He had to be
fresh. Lisa was originally intended as a minor supporting character
that would vanish after Part 3. My plans for Theresa and fs's needs
dictated her return. Lisa would be less familiar with fs and more
vanilla, allowing her to be tender and make him feel like "a submissive
man in love" instead of an abused slave. She is the one that mentions
up the monetary value that he is being traded for. She knows that he
needs to hear it.
Fourth, Cassandra's rules for Dominique were
important. No direct sexual contact. No marks. Cassandra knows that
Dominique will rise to the challenge but also that it will avoid any
This was a lot to manage in my head and I'm very very glad I took notes.
not going to lie. I loved writing Dominique's character. I have no
clue how a sadist thinks or responds. I loosely based her on a handful
of people I have known and some "posturing" I have read from people
claiming to be this way. She's heavily influenced by what I pictured F
(from Reflections) would have become 10 or 15 years down the road. My
biggest concern was that I wanted her to be interesting and have real
depth. This started with picturing her backstory.
Dominique as someone with 20 years of experience. Someone who had spent
much of that time "playing a role," but had genuine interest that
wasn't able to be fully explored until after she already had more
scripted experiences. I had created her as a former Femdom courtesan
and wanted that to be a major source of her wealth, elegance, and
experience. Years of posturing and catering to the fantasies of wealthy
men, capitalizing on that, and later taking it down whatever dark path
she wanted to without the stress or difficulties that most people
experience in daily life. If someone is allowed to explore unrestrained
and without limit, what would they be like?
What was her drive?
This was very hard for me to envision. It was easy to play with her
outward behavior at the beginning. I've met many Dommes that posture
heavily, trying to intimidate people. I started with a formula in mind:
"I want to hear you scream." As I wrote Part 5, I put myself into a
position to let her grow at the pace she was revealing herself.
enjoys teasing. She likes feeling sexy. She wants the sub to lust for
her. fs would want to avoid this at all possible even though she was
attractive and dressed in a way that appealed to him. This became a
dynamic. This was a little interesting.
She's experienced. I
wanted to include a handful of things that I knew would contribute to
the realism. In a 12-hour play session, fs would be exhausted. He
would also be very dehydrated and probably wouldn't even know he was
hungry. Giving him water and forcing food into his mouth felt like what
she would do. The masturbation scenes between each of his muscles
going limp probably seemed very cruel and sadistic. From a posturing
standpoint that would be true. From a realistic standpoint, could fs
have handled 2 muscles being beaten that badly in a row? Probably not.
Her masturbation breaks allowed time for him to recover. They were
actually kind acts within the circumstances. You will also notice she
doesn't touch a single part of fs that could cause actual serious
She's thoughtful. When Dominique tells Theresa he will
be out of commission for 2-3 days, I wanted this to hint that she had
tested it on her own sub and knew the recovery time. She would never
have done it to fs if she didn't know the extent of the damage and made
sure that it wouldn't overlap with Cassandra returning from vacation.
While she doesn't feel bad for hurting fs since she "paid" for it,
Dominique does feel bad for inconveniencing Theresa. This leads to her
gift in Part 6. This might seem relatively minor, but I had her make
sure she worked his body "out of order" by doing his arms first and then
his legs. Going legs first would lead to bruising, straining, and the
chance for nerve damage on the neck and wrists if fs was forced to
dangle from them for hours. I know I mentioned this in Part 5, but I
wanted it to imply that this was a favor to Cassandra and not the order
she would go with her own subs. Basically, she's very aware of the
consequences of her actions and how they affect everyone involved.
kink drive. Figuring out Dominique's Domspace was an extreme
challenge. I didn't want her to ever seem like a 1-dimensional
caricature. I had to use some acting techniques on "building a
character" to figure her out. What people were able to derive from the
events may very well differ from what I had in mind, but I felt spelling
everything out lacked subtlety and I hoped that the people who really
read into it are able to see some of these things. Dominique's main
goal is not to hurt people. Her main goal, the one that fuels her, is
to be entertained. This happens when she gives in to and unleashes her
urges. This brings her great joy and the experience thrills her.
Instilling fear entertains her. Watching that fear manifest itself
while she holds them powerless entertains her. Hurting them entertains
her. She doesn't gag him since his screams make her enjoy it more, the
instant gratification feeling of "I did that! He did that because of
me!" She does not want to be bored, and chasing the thrill of the
moment is what gets her turned on. I portrayed this minimally, mostly
when her moans turn into laughs during her masturbation breaks and the
later scenes. It probably appeared a little bit psycho but deep down,
she's just having the time of her life.
In the end, I wanted
Dominique's visit in Part 6 to have some meaning. Her inability to
break or seduce fs makes her respect him and understand his level of
devotion to Cassandra. She also sees it as a challenge and is a little
bit butt hurt about it, so she hopes she will get another chance in the
future. This also makes Dominique understand why fs is so valuable to
Cassandra as a sub and why Cass insisted on a strict set of rules
limiting Dom's options with him. This leads Dominique to bring more
gifts for Cassandra, understanding the full magnitude of the "treasured
possession" that Cass trusted her with. It's in the aftermath that Dom
sees what a huge gesture this was from Cassandra and it becomes a very
important part of their friendship and trust. I displayed this by
Dominique's assistance in Part 7, her choice to provoke Kimmy upon her
departure and later reinforced it in Part 8 with her continued efforts
Two final things in regards to Dominique.
fact that she keeps wiping her juices under fs's nose wasn't really
planned. I wrote it in the moment and it just seemed like "a Dominique
thing to do." I felt that small gesture would boost her level of
entertainment by teasing the fs that what she was doing was getting her
off as well as making him think about her sexually. It became part of her
ritual and was very easy to add it in every time it happened.
Also, I know there's 1 potential mistake in Part 5 that I
was aware of and left it. The locking nipple clamps applied at the
beginning may have caused some serious damage if they were left on for
12+ hours, but I liked Dominique's "gift" message too much to bump it
back to later in the Chapter. They had to remain on in order to assist
in Theresa's awakening in Part 6.
I hope this helped give some insight into Part 5. Thank you for reading.