Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Writing fs01 Part 5 and afterthoughts on the series

I'm still riding the afterglow of finishing fs01.  The final word count ended up being 35,000+ words for 1-8 + the bonus chapter.  The "I felt like I wrote a book" feeling was fairly accurate as that translates into 120+ pages of text (and surpassed my reflections posts that were 34k in all).

Here is a little look into the process I went through writing what I found to be the most challenging and enjoyable to write part of the story.

Writing Part 5 and its related events was very complicated.  It was easily the most difficult task I've ever performed in writing, even more than my senior thesis in college since I was able to plan that out entirely beforehand and with a clear goal in mind.  fs01 evolved as it grew.  The feedback on parts 1 and 2 really helped me solidify my focus on how I wanted to present things.  Part 5 began as a single idea: "fs gets loaned out to a sadist."

Creating realistic logistics for Part 5 changed everything.  How would it work?  Well if ______ happens then it would require ______ later, and so on.  What kind of needs would fs have both leading up to and following the events?  A lot of it was based upon what I would do, feel, or need if faced with the situations at hand.  Cassandra would be aware of all of these things and make sure it happened "correctly." 

I started planning for Part 5 as soon as I wrote Dominique into Part 3.  She was my vehicle leading to the next "trial." My brain was spinning at a mile per minute as I had to multi-task all of the ideas that flowed in logistically while continuing to think about the present events Part 3.  I made a series of notes to try and make sure that I wouldn't forget them.  The related key events in Parts 3-6 were basically written at this time.

The true difficulty surfaced in attempting to keep things as realistic with their logistics and true to character as possible.

This started with Cassandra's conditions to allow this to happen.  I implied a lot of these things but didn't mention them outright.  Cassandra sees the big picture and lays out a lot of things to make sure fs is protected emotionally through all of this.  I'm not sure if this was adequately conveyed in the writing, but I hope at least a few people are able to see that all of these things happened "on purpose," exactly as Cassandra expected them to.

First off, this had to happen when she was out of town (this was one of my notes that influenced some of Parts 3 and 4).  If she was home and fs was incapacitated, he would have felt terrible and struggled with coping about being unable to serve her.  What this also meant was that someone else would have to be there for fs to repair his damaged psyche.  This was Theresa.  The "emergency protocols" were to serve as his "painkillers."  The extremity of the events and how to deal with them would be the foundation of Theresa's revelation about Cassandra and fs's relationship.

Secondly, a loan made sense if it was for him to serve a woman or a friend as a favor sort of thing.  As an abused plaything, I felt compensation would be necessary.  This led to the negotiations scene in Part 3.  The payment also felt right for fs's mental preparation in Part 4: to give him a high monetary value that would make him feel better about things.

Third, fs would need to be in top form mentally to endure this.  This gave rise to Part 4 and Lisa's continued involvement with fs.  He had to be fresh.  Lisa was originally intended as a minor supporting character that would vanish after Part 3.  My plans for Theresa and fs's needs dictated her return.  Lisa would be less familiar with fs and more vanilla, allowing her to be tender and make him feel like "a submissive man in love" instead of an abused slave.  She is the one that mentions up the monetary value that he is being traded for.  She knows that he needs to hear it.

Fourth, Cassandra's rules for Dominique were important.  No direct sexual contact.  No marks.  Cassandra knows that Dominique will rise to the challenge but also that it will avoid any permanent damage.

This was a lot to manage in my head and I'm very very glad I took notes.

I'm not going to lie.  I loved writing Dominique's character.  I have no clue how a sadist thinks or responds.  I loosely based her on a handful of people I have known and some "posturing" I have read from people claiming to be this way.  She's heavily influenced by what I pictured F (from Reflections) would have become 10 or 15 years down the road.  My biggest concern was that I wanted her to be interesting and have real depth.  This started with picturing her backstory.

I envisioned Dominique as someone with 20 years of experience.  Someone who had spent much of that time "playing a role," but had genuine interest that wasn't able to be fully explored until after she already had more scripted experiences.  I had created her as a former Femdom courtesan and wanted that to be a major source of her wealth, elegance, and experience.  Years of posturing and catering to the fantasies of wealthy men, capitalizing on that, and later taking it down whatever dark path she wanted to without the stress or difficulties that most people experience in daily life.  If someone is allowed to explore unrestrained and without limit, what would they be like?

What was her drive?  This was very hard for me to envision.  It was easy to play with her outward behavior at the beginning.  I've met many Dommes that posture heavily, trying to intimidate people.  I started with a formula in mind: "I want to hear you scream."  As I wrote Part 5, I put myself into a position to let her grow at the pace she was revealing herself. 

She enjoys teasing.  She likes feeling sexy.  She wants the sub to lust for her.  fs would want to avoid this at all possible even though she was attractive and dressed in a way that appealed to him.  This became a dynamic.  This was a little interesting.

She's experienced.  I wanted to include a handful of things that I knew would contribute to the realism.  In a 12-hour play session, fs would be exhausted.  He would also be very dehydrated and probably wouldn't even know he was hungry.  Giving him water and forcing food into his mouth felt like what she would do.  The masturbation scenes between each of his muscles going limp probably seemed very cruel and sadistic.  From a posturing standpoint that would be true.  From a realistic standpoint, could fs have handled 2 muscles being beaten that badly in a row?  Probably not.  Her masturbation breaks allowed time for him to recover.  They were actually kind acts within the circumstances.  You will also notice she doesn't touch a single part of fs that could cause actual serious injury. 

She's thoughtful.  When Dominique tells Theresa he will be out of commission for 2-3 days, I wanted this to hint that she had tested it on her own sub and knew the recovery time.  She would never have done it to fs if she didn't know the extent of the damage and made sure that it wouldn't overlap with Cassandra returning from vacation.  While she doesn't feel bad for hurting fs since she "paid" for it, Dominique does feel bad for inconveniencing Theresa.  This leads to her gift in Part 6.  This might seem relatively minor, but I had her make sure she worked his body "out of order" by doing his arms first and then his legs.  Going legs first would lead to bruising, straining, and the chance for nerve damage on the neck and wrists if fs was forced to dangle from them for hours.  I know I mentioned this in Part 5, but I wanted it to imply that this was a favor to Cassandra and not the order she would go with her own subs.  Basically, she's very aware of the consequences of her actions and how they affect everyone involved. 

Her kink drive.  Figuring out Dominique's Domspace was an extreme challenge.  I didn't want her to ever seem like a 1-dimensional caricature.  I had to use some acting techniques on "building a character" to figure her out.  What people were able to derive from the events may very well differ from what I had in mind, but I felt spelling everything out lacked subtlety and I hoped that the people who really read into it are able to see some of these things.  Dominique's main goal is not to hurt people.  Her main goal, the one that fuels her, is to be entertained.  This happens when she gives in to and unleashes her urges. This brings her great joy and the experience thrills her.  Instilling fear entertains her.  Watching that fear manifest itself while she holds them powerless entertains her.  Hurting them entertains her.  She doesn't gag him since his screams make her enjoy it more, the instant gratification feeling of "I did that!  He did that because of me!"  She does not want to be bored, and chasing the thrill of the moment is what gets her turned on.  I portrayed this minimally, mostly when her moans turn into laughs during her masturbation breaks and the later scenes.  It probably appeared a little bit psycho but deep down, she's just having the time of her life.

In the end, I wanted Dominique's visit in Part 6 to have some meaning.  Her inability to break or seduce fs makes her respect him and understand his level of devotion to Cassandra. She also sees it as a challenge and is a little bit butt hurt about it, so she hopes she will get another chance in the future.  This also makes Dominique understand why fs is so valuable to Cassandra as a sub and why Cass insisted on a strict set of rules limiting Dom's options with him.  This leads Dominique to bring more gifts for Cassandra, understanding the full magnitude of the "treasured possession" that Cass trusted her with.  It's in the aftermath that Dom sees what a huge gesture this was from Cassandra and it becomes a very important part of their friendship and trust.  I displayed this by Dominique's assistance in Part 7, her choice to provoke Kimmy upon her departure and later reinforced it in Part 8 with her continued efforts towards Kimmy. 

Two final things in regards to Dominique. 
The fact that she keeps wiping her juices under fs's nose wasn't really planned.  I wrote it in the moment and it just seemed like "a Dominique thing to do."  I felt that small gesture would boost her level of entertainment by teasing the fs that what she was doing was getting her off as well as making him think about her sexually.  It became part of her ritual and was very easy to add it in every time it happened. 

Also, I know there's 1 potential mistake in Part 5 that I was aware of and left it.  The locking nipple clamps applied at the beginning may have caused some serious damage if they were left on for 12+ hours, but I liked Dominique's "gift" message too much to bump it back to later in the Chapter.  They had to remain on in order to assist in Theresa's awakening in Part 6. 

I hope this helped give some insight into Part 5.  Thank you for reading.  

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