My life has been full of rejection. On the day of my birth I was rejected by my mother and given away. That was the start. Since then, rejection and insecurity have centered around a 3 letter word: too
I have been rejected by women a lot for various "too"s:
Too different (race or style).
Too "thick" (I have a very muscular build).
Too much like a brother.
I have been dumped for a lot of "too"s:
Too boring (I don't drink or party).
Too respectful (this one confused me).
I have gotten in arguments with lovers over various "too"s:
Too predictable (anticipating needs).
I have had friendships end over "too"s:
Too strong willed.
Too experienced (it made them feel inadequate).
Too "outside the box."
All of these events have hurt me deeply. For all intents and purposes I should probably be a wreck, second guessing every action, ripe with insecurity. I could be that way if I chose to be. What prevents that is I hold an unshakeable belief that some things can never be "too."
You can never make a woman feel too loved.
You can never make a woman feel too special.
You can never make a woman feel too important to you.
You can never be too brave or have too much courage.
You can never be too thoughtful.
I may seem naive but these are the rules of the world that I choose to live in. They are ideas that I strive for on a daily basis. These are my security.
I believe in them because of what I hear when she talks about me to others. The "too"s become "so"s.
"He is 'so' thoughful. He makes me feel 'so' loved and important."
Don't get me wrong, I am afraid of all the "too"s that have hurt me, I just choose to ignore them because I believe they don't matter. They were then, this is now.