Some recent comment discussions on my blog and others got me thinking about how my sub self has interacted with outsiders to certain degrees. K and F were very private, and with the exception of one play party with F, we never displayed any of our D/s life beyond ourselves.
With T, things have been a bit different. She has sought out other D/s couples and individuals to be friends with us in a way where we can openly discuss our relationships while doing very vanilla activities (board games, going out to dinner, etc.). I know that Dommes often like to show off their subs to other Dommes or other people involved in the BDSM communities, but when it comes down to revealing anything to vanilla parties, this is a lot less common.
From what I've read on blogs, many couples practicing FLRs will drop little hints or small public displays to gauge reactions from others. Oddly enough, this seems to be a bit more common with couples that try to distance themselves from the fetish aspects a relationship (e.g. calling it FLR or WLM etc. and avoiding terms like Femdom, D/s, BDSM, fetish, and so on). I have a feeling this has to do with the extreme privacy practiced by most fetish-embracing couples and so they are less likely to let down their guard to anyone.
EDIT: Quick Author's note - The following events didn't involve any type of overt BDSM-related displays. No D/s protocols such as kneeling or addressing with titles, collars, dressing, etc. were used. I was presented as my "normal self."
During our first few years together T wanted to show me off... a lot, to her vanilla friends. I met most of her friends, one at a time, usually with us doing the entertaining. T would have me cook, prepare snacks, and serve them beverages. I slaved away in the kitchen while they would relax and talk. T would summon me for drink refills, to let me know when to serve the snacks, and so on. The rest of the time I was to stay out of sight and out of mind. When I was visible, I was to be on my best behavior and most proper manners. I would serve them dinner and multi-task the kitchen making sure none of the dishes got cold, tend to drinks, and prepare dessert. If any of them asked why I wasn't eating with them, T would reply that it was okay for me to eat after them.
These types of displays always made me very shy and I would blush any time T would "speak for me" to her friend.
After dinner I would serve them dessert in the living room and then
return to the kitchen to scarf down some dinner and start on the
dishes.Around now is when the friends would usually get quite curious.
"Isn't he going to join us for dessert?"
"No, he doesn't need any dessert and he's taking care of the dishes."
"A man doing dishes without being asked? Wow. Does he want any help?"
"No, he's fine. He always does the dishes."
If I ever peeked I could see T with a giant smile on her face. During dessert I would prepare some fresh coffee and while it was brewing, I would go to them and ask how much cream and sugar her friend would like. T would then say something along the lines of, "if it's not perfect, send it back and he'll do it again." There were never any complaints.
After serving coffee and they were finished with dessert, I would finish the dishes and then return to them. They were usually comfortably parked on the couch. I had a small wooden stool that I was to sit on at T's side. Up until this point, I had very little interaction with any of her friends. I had greeted them, exchanged pleasantries, and then only spoke when I was asking what I could get them or taking their dishes. On that stool, T would start to gush about me, while I would sit in silence while blushing.
"If you want a foot rub, back rub, or massage, let me know. He gives excellent ones."
It almost felt like she was following a script. Out of the 5 occasions, there were 4 takers. 2 foot rubs, 1 back rub, 1 massage, and 1 pass. The most notable were 1 foot rub and the massage. When I knelt for the foot rub, I said, "please tell me when you would like me to switch feet and when you would like me to stop." I started on her left foot. They talked as if I wasn't there, occasionally interrupted by a moan of the woman whose foot I was rubbing. After about 45 minutes, she asked me to switch and I moved on to the right foot. At some point the conversation shifted to being about me. I would often shop with T and help her pick out clothes that would fit the "attitude" she wished to present. T told her friend about my "eye" for that as well as my bargain hunting habits, and the like. Her friend then said she was looking to buy a pair of "fuck me" boots and asked if she could bring me along before finally acknowledging me and saying "just kidding, sweetie."
T responded with, "If you want him for that, he's yours."
"Don't tempt me."
Things continued and I didn't pay close attention to the conversation unless something perked my interest (I was focused on giving a good foot rub).
"How did you train him this well?"
"He was like this before I met him."
"Really? Can I have him suck my toes? Just kidding, sweetie."
When she had me stop rubbing, she responded with, "I wish that could go on forever."
"Would you like me to continue?"
"Yes, but I'm sure your hands have to be hurting by now."
"It's okay. I can continue if you would like."
"Are they hurting? Be honest."
"Then stop, you need to save some for T. Thank you sweetie, you were great."
After she left I received a very nice reward. T was extremely happy and was beaming. I could tell she was proud of me for doing a good job. Later on she would tell me what the other women said to her about me and it made me very happy.
The massage, was a bit weird. T moved off the couch and had her friend lie on her stomach across the whole couch.
"Would you like theraputic or pleasurable?"
"What's the difference?"
"Theraputic involves deep tissue work. It's quite painful but very beneficial. Pleasurable focuses upon stimulating nerve endings and circulation. It feels better but doesn't do much for muscle knots."
"Please let me know when you would like me to stop."
I began to rub her back in the ways and areas I have learned feel good. She and T continued to have a conversation for a little bit but soon she went silent except for moans and T hopped on the computer in the room. After about 20 minutes she started to grind her pelvis into the couch, moving in a circular motion. I continued to work on various areas. After about 90 minutes, the final hour of which were filled with pleasurable groans and non-stop grinding, T finally spoke."
"You know, he has an even more special massage than this, if you want it."
"Don't worry, he's not going to rub your clit or anything, but you would have to take off your shirt, you could do it in the bedroom. It's worth it."
Her friend agreed and T had her go to the bedroom to take off her shirt and get comfortable. In the living room T instructed me to use the fur massage mitts. I left for the bedroom after a couple of minutes and got out the mitts. She had removed her top and was in jeans and a bra. I rubbed her bare skin with the mitts, making sure to take advantage of having two hands, I would work the normal zones but also break away and touch some lesser stimulated areas, such as using 1 hand on her cheek with the other on her back. She continued to moan, grind, and squirm around. At some point she put 1 hand in her pocket. After a little over 2 hours she told me, "Okay, stop."
This friend was different from T's other friends. This one hadn't said a single thing to me the entire evening or acknowledged my presence except for "What's the difference?", "Pleasurable," and "Okay, stop." I left the room and asked T if I could take a shower. My shoulders, arms, and hands were all killing me. She said yes. As I grabbed a change of clothes from the bedroom, T's friend was just finishing putting her top back on. Her jeans were now a darker shade of blue across the whole front from being soaked. She didn't look at me and started shouting to T down the hall as she left.
I soaked my shoulders for a bit in the shower. As I was drying off I heard T's voice through the bathroom door. "I think you should leave." Loud voices. "I think you should leave now." Loud voices, then the front door closed. I came out of the bathroom and T was irate. I asked her what was wrong and she let out a string of obscenities, finally settling in on, "that fucking bitch just asked me how I could stand being with you since you're 'so short and fugly.'" It was a little bit disheartening to hear that, but it made me happy that T was angry and kicked her out. I didn't get a reward that night.
They eventually made up but T was hesitant to do so and told me I didn't have to be nice to her in the slightest. I can be a pretty big prick if I want to be one, so I did torment that woman quite a bit in the future. My favorite was when she called T and asked her how much I would charge for another massage. T had leaned off the phone and relayed that question to me.
I responded loud enough to be heard over the phone: "The short and fugly massage service is usually free, but for her, $50 an hour."
I thought that would get rid of her for sure, but then T leaned away from the phone again and said, "She's asking if you'd take $25 an hour." I covered my eyes, started laughing, and told T to tell her whatever she wanted. T told her "no deal."