It seems my writing on/off switch is firmly in the on position. I should probably schedule my posts to go up once a day or so, but that's never been my style before so the post-bombardment will continue.
Femdom as a meta-fetish is something I have written about before but my recent reflections writings have really livened this idea up for me and looking at it from a slightly different point of view.
The idea of Femdom as a meta-fetish is one that there are certain submissives that will respond sexually to an activity more due to the situational D/s environment more so than the activity itself. In this sense I believe many events and actions are interpreted by the sub on a symbolic level more than it affects him on a direct level.
An example: I am not a masochist and despise pain. The idea of being tied up and beaten until I'm so hurt that I can't even beg for mercy still arouses me. My experiences with being tied up and beaten to this point also kept me aroused (until I broke, then it went flaccid). The pain itself did nothing for me but the situation itself hit on so many levels:
-Her power/authority
-my helplessness
-my submission
-Her superior status and my lower status
-my suffering for her (devotion)
-many many more reasons.
Each of those ideas individually will arouse me. Put them all together and the arousal becomes pretty serious.
If you envision that scenario and start changing or filling in details:
-Restrained with chains instead of ropes.
-Gagged so that I can't even speak.
-Blindfolded so that I can't see it coming.
-Is it as a deserved punishment or simply for her entertainment?
-Is there an audience or is it in private?
Each of these details is symbolic of a characteristic of Femdom. The greater the number of additional details, the stronger the essence of Femdom becomes: increasing her power, lowering the sub's status, increasing her ownership/possession, increasing the sub's vulnerability, etc.
Every single thing that can possibly happen to make the D/s dynamic more extreme increases my arousal level and deepens my corresponding subspace.
Taking things to a more specialized level brings about some other observations. I hate anal plugs. They are uncomfortable and bring about a huge level of emotional agitation for me. The thought of an anal plug is a turn off. If details are added...
What is the reason an anal plug is being used? Punishment? Discomfort/suffering? Humiliation? To make you feel "filled in"? To stretch you out so you can handle a bigger strap on? Because she's bored? It entertains her to see you walk funny? Because you hate it?
What about the plug? Is it locking? What size is it and why? Does it have a tail? Was sufficient lube involved? Was it ordinary lube or something worse?
Add answers to these questions and an anal plug is now arousing to me and the more cruel the reason behind it, the more arousing it is.
Is this enough to support Femdom as a meta-fetish? I can't say for sure.
If I were to put on sissy clothes it would do nothing for me. If ordered to put them on as a uniform under the threat of punishment and was treated with a large dose of humiliation and embarrassment, I'd be fully turned on and spiraling into subspace a the speed of light.
I might be attempting the impossible in trying to separate single activities from Femdom as a whole, but I find it interesting nonetheless.
Not to over simplify, but I'd say that the symbolic level is what it's all about when it comes to pain. I've dealt with many subs, and in only one case did I come across a real masochist who actually liked the pain. All of the others, my husband included, endured the pain and it was clear that it symbolized their submission and my dominance, and therefore was both acceptable and often desirable.
ReplyDeleteConversely, it turned (turns) me on to know that my sub is enduring the pain for me, as opposed to actually enjoying it. I quickly dropped the sub who was a true masochist. As you pointed out in one of your previous blogs, what's the use of a spanking if a sub likes the spanking? "Please, please spank me!" is a turn-off for a Dom, at least for this one. My husband could rise up and break me in half if he wanted, yet he endures my punishment because it gives me pleasure, and that in turn gives him pleasure. Now that's a turn-on.
Thank you for the insights, Lady Grey. It's helpful to understand what symbolism "does it" for you and how removing that does the opposite.
DeleteI find it odd that I still find many out there that believe all male subs are masochists...